In The Love & Relationship Solution, we introduced you to the significance of the people you surround yourself with, including how to heal damaged relationships and make your family and friends the most satisfying part of your life.
“Meaning doesn’t lie in things. Meaning lies in us. When we attach value to things that aren’t love-the money, the car, the house, the prestige-we are loving things that can’t love us back. We are searching for meaning in the meaningless. Money, of itself, means nothing. Material things, of themselves, mean nothing. It's not that they’re bad. It’s that they’re nothing.” ~Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
We absolutely love this quote because it perfectly embodies today’s solution. Love and relationships bring value and meaning to our lives, not material things. And when we don’t have value or meaning in our lives, there is a void.
Excessive drinking, and all addiction, is at some level a substitute for love and an attempt to fill this void. To cut back or quit drinking, and to thrive in sobriety, you need to develop and maintain relationships with your friends and family that are positive and nurturing, or you will eventually return to drinking. It's that simple.
Think back to The Sobriety System once again. Your desired outcomes are ultimately tied to your core values, and love is one of those core values-especially self-love. So, today, we invite you to return to love and build stronger relationships in your life. You will be glad you did.
In the end, all you will care about are the relationships in your life-who loved you and who you loved-not how much money you made, what promotions you got, or what neighborhood you lived in. In order to thrive in sobriety, you must look closely at the people you have chosen to surround yourself with and begin to pay attention to the people you wish to spend more time with. Problem drinking eventually leads to isolation and loneliness, and is a substitute for what is missing in your life that you really want-authentic and healthy relationships with others. Having regrets might make you feel vulnerable, but being vulnerable does NOT mean that you are weak or result in you not being accepted. Rather, vulnerability will aid you in creating meaningful connections that drinking has kept from you.
Many of your messes might exist because of broken agreements at work, at home, with loved ones, with strangers, and most importantly, with yourself. Broken agreements dramatically affect your life. In every agreement you make, you are also making one to yourself. When you learn to keep most of your agreements you gain trust, build self-confidence and self-esteem, and have greater clarity, focus, and energy.