Home Page › All Forums › Day 14 – The Review Day & Bonus Solution Community Forum › 2 weeks sober am defo up for this!
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February 19, 2017 at 5:58 am #16475
Relief I feel. On day 11 I went to a pub with a friend and had a coffee. I had no intention to drink and the force was strong. That night I had a dream where I was in a bar and the barman gave me my usual pint. Suddenly I knew something was off. I asked him to change it for a coffee. Couldn’t believe it when I woke up. That’s the first time I’ve done that in a dream. The next day though was different. I got news that I didn’t want to hear and on the hour bus journey home all I could think about was jumping off and hitting a bar to console myself with a Friday afternoon glass of wine. Couldn’t hurt could it? 12 days has always been my dodgy point. I endured the trip thinking about all the work I had put into myself by using the book and doing the exercises. Whilst watching the busy shoppers and the peeps enjoying themselves in the terrazas the internal fight was going through its rounds. I got off did some grocery shopping and headed home to cook dinner. By the time I got home the urge had worn off. As I went to bed I thought about the willpower I used in the bar on day 11 and how I had felt a little cocky about it. But the urge is a clever saboteur and can easily creep up on you and ruin everything you have accomplished just as you let your guard down even for just a little bit. It’s been a struggle but I’m winning. It felt rather daunting the following day and still does to know that I never sabotaged myself as I would normally. It’s shown me a hidden strength and I hope to tap into it more often. Today I celebrate 14days sober and am well up for proving to myself that I can do this over the next 16days. I already feel that I’m half way through. Good luck to you all and thanks for having this forum. It’s the perfect curer to go to when I need that top up.
February 20, 2017 at 5:45 pm #16495Participant
frankie . . . very supportive dream. Most interesting as far as validation to what you are accomplishing. That force to drink or not-drink can be monumental, but it sure seems like you have hit your stride, so to speak, and are well on your way to feeling freer and freer of the urges and pulls to regress.
I’ve sure let my guard down along the way and it has never worked out the way I wished it would. Best to you as you continue along this pathway of discovery and new potentials.
February 20, 2017 at 10:05 pm #16497Participant
@rico. Have you attained any period of Sobriety? Can you share your experience with that here? Thank you! Sina
March 3, 2017 at 4:57 am #16690Participant
Yes. 14 days today. I still wake up feeling bad…like I drank or something. I’m having a hard time letting go of the bad feelings that followed a night of drinking. I did have a realization this morning…perhaps I’m too focused on NOT drinking and not focused enough on healing the emotional stuff and limiting beliefs. However, it’s a work in progress. 14 days of progress. Not easy at all, but much better than a hangover and things will and do get better. It’s subtle, these changes, I need to pay attention to the positive shifts that happen. Even if it’s just knowing that this is the right thing to be doing. Good luck on your journey. All the best
February 26, 2017 at 5:28 am #16579
Thank you very much Rico. I am now on day 21 and going strong. Thanks to my commitment of doing the exercises everyday it seems to set me up for the next day. My sleeping has improved and I am getting up early without hangovers which is a blessing. The strange thing I’m noticing is I’m starting to do little things that I used to love doing with the extra time I have that would have otherwise been wasted on drinking. Rather than going to the pub or meeting up with drinking buddies am having to do things that are productive. I say ‘have’ as the fight inside hasn’t given up but I’m reconnecting with the sober me who I had forgotten is a force to be reckoned with. Him I like. I’m realizing that drinking was a way to dull my fear to move on. But at the end of the day, there’s no stopping tomorrow and I’d rather see what I am capable of living it sober than sabotaging it and blaming myself and others with a ‘told you so’ attitude. Courage. I feel I now have a duty to myself. I have had a few dreams lately where I have accepted a drink but the relief I feel when I waken up and realize that I am thriving in sobriety is overwhelmingly powerful. Who knows what’ll happen after the 30days but rediscovering that I CAN complete something when I put my mind to it feels like a first step in many. It’s taken over 10years to find myself at this stage. The other day one of my drinking buddies texted me saying I was an inspiration. That little text gave me more motivation than he’ll know to continue through with my sobriety. You RICO taking the time to write to me gives me motivation. Keeping the fire kindling keeps my motivation burning. Best to you Rico and to your sobriety and to everyone on this path.
March 12, 2017 at 2:29 pm #16841Participant
@ Frankie, I hope you are still thriving in sobriety. Loved reading your words, having shared similar feelings myself about dulling the fear. I too, feel I self-sabotage and need to stop. Filling the free time is such a nice luxury to have. Stay strong!
March 12, 2017 at 6:48 pm #16842
September 25, 2018 at 6:58 pm #120889
Guys, just took time out to read these answers. I’ve been a bad boy lately but again… I have the opportunity to build something great. Do you just stop drinking believing that it’ll happen in due course? Who can you depend upon? Boredom, who do you have in your life? When you don’t have family nor friends? REAL friends! How do you secrete that belief in yourself? The telephone doesn’t ring. The door doesn’t knock. Bear with me.
October 15, 2018 at 6:43 am #121030Participant
Hi @frankie, your post on your day 14 of the program is an inspiration for me as well. This is the longest period I’ve gone without a drink in several years, and I feel better at this point and more confident about my sobriety than at any time since I first tried to quick drinking 11 years ago.
The daily readings and exercises from the book have been my life raft. The work I am putting has been so satisfying, and the progress being made is a surprise–I didn’t think sobriety was every going to become a reality for me. One day at a time is the mantra. I still find myself anticipating the next solution and counting down impatiently to day 30. I don’t have the urge or anticipation to drink again. More that I have never been able to get to 30-days of sobriety when trying my entire life. But I need to stop myself from rushing ahead. This process and its revelations are as enjoyable as any accomplishment of days sober can ever be. Live in the moment, and treat each day as a unique gift, as something I specifically asked for.
October 23, 2018 at 10:27 am #121107Participant
Anyone have some reflections to help me? My sadness the last two days is overwhelming, thoughts and old memories pop in my head throughout the day and I am confused and just heavy. I was feeling pretty awesome, and then wham. I have not relapsed, I am sticking with my 100% this time, which I have started off and on the last two years and never really made it past a week of solutions. I made it past 30 days of sobriety before (and also 9 months when pregnant) and I don’t drink heavily, just often and dependent, for 26 years.
Here is the ah-ha moment, I realized that I may have bad days, days where old stuff comes up because by actually doing this program and sticking with it I have created enough space to allow it. I have started to “clean out my closets” so to speak and by pulling stuff out it forces me to look at it, deal with it, remember it. I suppose the discomfort is part of it. I don’t want to wallow in it, or be a complainer or really even talk about it to anyone. I just feel heavy. Does anyone else feel this way? Maybe also the “doing something new” vigor of the first two weeks is wearing off and replaced with “I guess this is really happening” and thinking about what that means to me in the future. Is that where the “one day at a time” comes in”? Has anyone had much luck with the tapping out the bad feelings?
I have come to realize that it is possible that for me to maintain beyond the 30 days I may need a daily “practice” that keeps me in line. Has anyone come out on the other side of 30 days and have a daily practice that keeps them from gravitating back to old habits? That scares me too.
October 23, 2018 at 7:59 pm #121110
My lovely San Diego visit. Paradise, HA!
Flew to my Mother’s house, trying to help clean up, Ug. Been good for the first week but I have so many strong feelings today. (MOM AACCkk!!) So much stuff in my hometown coming up that I have to deal with Sober. Wellings from deep in my Psyche. Sad, mad, hyper energy I don’t know how to deal with. I was doing so fine. I know I took on a lot in this early time of my process but I thought I could handle it. And I Can! Positive thinking here. 🙂 Newleaf I get the not wanting to talk about it to anyone, even here (where I’m into positive platitudes to keep me going), it just seems to ramp it up for me. Also why I don’t journal well, I would rather distract myself and not think about it. (I would rreallllly like to drink and forget about it.) No, I Will remain sober!
Just saw the, now were just friends/boyfriend, who just two days ago figured out he gave 35k to a girl/scam. Never met, only knew her for a month, how does this happen anyhow??!! Whhyy didn’t he give it to me?! I have nothing to helpful to say to him.
Had my first lunch with dad in years without my 3 martinis. So much stuff there…
Visit too short to change/fix everything/anything in my Mom’s life, trying to help and getting yelled at, so glad she is too old and unhealthy to wack me anymore. Old haunts, old habits, old bullshit…
Taco Tuesday today, a religious day for Mom including the sacrificial tequila, etc…) I will be going out to get them soon. I will not be indulging in the aforementioned sacrifice. I will not sacrifice myself to this demon today.
I know I have slipped on the healthy eating, shit I’m just eating constantly to not be drinking here, but there is nothing healthy in this world of Mom’s. So much unresolved, so much anger and sadness in her, so little I can do yet I love her.
I will get through today! I can only change me and I am doing this! I have been doing the tapping like a fool newleaf, I think it’s working.
I know the meditations are my new habit and the eating has got to be better, my brain needs it. I also need to stick to some form of exercise, driving me nuts sitting next to my lump-o-mom.
Still stuck on day 29. What do I want to do for the rest of my life???!!! Gave myself the leeway to ponder on that for a few days while I take care of Mom, but now this stalling is getting ridiculous, I said to myself today, I’ll deal with that when I get home. I just don’t want to graduate and then have to go out and live the rest of my life. Talk about your scaredy-cat
Frankie, thank you for starting this thread, hope you are still out here even though you are occasionally bad. Always a learning moment to be had by being bad. 😉 newleaf and everyone, Thank you for being here.
October 23, 2018 at 8:30 pm #121112Participant
Hang in there kids! This too shall morph into a new viewpoint. And for those who say they don’t Journal….some of these posts are Journal worthy!
October 23, 2018 at 9:23 pm #121116Participant
@newleaf I am feeling the “feels” too. It’s hard for me to allow myself to feel it without the drink. I cry more now, but I also laugh and it feels real and good. I’m walking almost daily, which helps with my depression. I fight it all the time and I’m pretty good at it most of the time now. I do not feel as helpless with it when AF. So, that feels good. I dunno, I’m sure they’ll be a wave of heavy stuff hitting me again soon. You are further ahead than me on the program, so I’m not sure how things play out, but I do know that daily walks (exercise) keep the depression demons and negative Nellie’s from popping in my mind as often. That’s for real. It works. I’ve done tapping in the past and I wasn’t into it, but I’m ready to give it another go.
October 24, 2018 at 8:15 am #121117Participant
Hi newleaf. Thanks for your good post. Cleaning out the closets is a great annalogy! (Did you make that up? Ingenious!).
Dr. Caroline Leaf (there’s a coincidence!) has a great program that could be right up your alley (www.drleaf.com).
My best! You’re doing fantastic! Keep going! You will start to pull away from depression, too.
October 24, 2018 at 11:10 am #121118
Made it through taco tuesday! Yeah me. Kris I understand perfectly when you said “It’s hard for me to allow myself to feel it without the drink.” I used to put on a sad romantic movie (or a Disney) and cry for all the things I couldn’t cry about in my lonely little life. I would get it out of my system and then feel better. But when I cry without alcohol it doesn’t come easy and it is strong and personal. Then I feel like I have to fix it and should because I am now sober. Too much. I have always felt that tears are the way God cleanses our soul and that to wallow in the sadness is a good thing for the moment, the moment passes, you feel better, you move on. I am not a depressed person usually and am not prepared to handle this lingering down. I have lost a friend, my best friend, alcohol. I read about it in the book and said, that is not me, and yet it is. 🙁
October 25, 2018 at 3:13 am #121121Participant
Hi everyone. I’m new to the 30 day program. I’ve been drinking every day for longer than I care to remember. My witching hour is between 4.30 and 6.30 where I would previously drink 3-4 pints of Stella, preferably on an empty stomach to gain the effect most quickly. Well I have had enough of this and want to change so started the 30 day program. You will smile when I tell you that I have started whilst on holiday at an ‘all inclusive’ hotel. My wife thinks I’m mad to start in this environment but what the hell. If I can succeed here I can anywhere, right? Anyway my wife is very supportive. She would like me to just cut back to say 3 days drink a week but I find it impossible to moderate myself like this so 30 days here I come! Anyway I’m on day 4 and do get a real urge for a drink but so far I’m managing to distract myself. Wish me luck cheers Anthony
November 7, 2018 at 7:42 am #121234Participant
So glad to hear from others doing this. You are right to go for abstinence. I have had my fill of doing “moderation” which took alot of effort, thinking, decisions, and then, those 5 ounces of 12% wine where never enough. It would be very easy to have 3 drinks/day…spaced out. Even drinking small amounts and moderating took away my energy, sleep, motivation. I think our bodies really need a few months to heal.
Good luck to you. I did the Alcohol Experiment with Annie Grace (free) for 30 days and followed it with this as I knew that 30 days was just the beginning. I am now 50 days AF and feel so much better.
November 1, 2018 at 1:16 pm #121165
Wishing you luck Anthony. Cheers with a lime in the coconut water. (I always thought of that song as a drinking song but it never mentions putting booze in the already perfect lime and coconut water. See, I’ve changed my perspective. 🙂 P.s. the Dr. is a holistic one who gives me the supplements that I need. 😉 )
January 8, 2019 at 2:05 pm #121615
Just a quick one to say Hi to all you stars. I´m back and today is my 1st day all over again. Can’t believe that nearly 2years have passed. Not exactly where I thought I’d be when I did the first day meditation back then but here I am. Committed. This time the 90day routine. Anthony, that’s the one that gets me. I wake up not thinking of alcohol but round about 5pm that seems to be my witching hour. Dull the evenings. No more. Feel like am wasting so much precious time. Lost opportunities. Heading back to day 1 for now but hopeful and surprised that you guys are still marching on. An inspiration to us all x
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