Bad day….

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by

 
Participant
8 months ago.

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  • #18977

    Participant

    I had a super bad day today. Anything that could have gone wrong did. I came home and all I wanted was a glass (bottle!) of wine. I went to my art studio and worked on a piece. I didn’t drink. I so wanted to. I talked myself through it and realized that drinking wasn’t going to change what had happened. I had to accept it and move on. I can’t change it. And so I did. 🙂

    Xo- Halo

  • #18978

    Participant

    Hi @halo47,

    sorry to hear about your bad day! I completely agree with and have used your logic:

    I talked myself through it and realized that drinking wasn’t going to change what had happened.

    I might also add – it would have only made it worse. One of the many things I found helpful in the program was learning how to deal with the inevitable bad days and coming to the realization that by drinking I was not dealing with anything, I was only running away and making things worse. This was a start for me to look for more productive/realistic ways to deal with the stress. It sounds like you are doing the same – thanks for sharing!

    Best Regards,
    ursaminor

  • #18987

    Participant

    I had one drink today – I don’t know whether to start again

    • #18991

      Participant

      Hi @abs1999,

      no need to go back to the beginning. If you are working the solutions and doing the exercises sober – then keep going and keep learning. This is not AA (and the authors make this point several times throughout the book). My personal belief is that drinking to excess is a learned bad habit. You just need to reprogram yourself and learn to change this habit. Part of the science behind not drinking for 30 days is that this is generally how long it takes for your brain to become accustomed to new behaviors and start to incorporate new habits into the brains everyday functioning. The solutions in this book emphasize this retraining/reprogramming throughout combined with personal growth work. So – keep reading the book – keep working the exercises and I think you will find it easier to not drink once you have more tools at your disposal. More than likely it will take longer than 30 days to complete all of the solutions anyway (it took me over 45) – so just restart the 30 day clock – but keep going in the book. Also – remember that there is no such thing as failure as long as you learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward. Stay positive and be kind to yourself!

      Best Wishes,
      ursaminor

  • #19000

    Participant

    Having a bad day and doing art instead of drinking…does that serve the person you want to be 5 yrs from now?
    I want to do as you did on that bad day. Thank you for the inspiration.

  • #20700

    Participant

    Something else I read in the book helped – chunking down tasks that seem overwhelming > taking small actions toward our goal. Asking will X take me closer or further away from the next drink.
    Your painting took you further away from the next drink.
    I’m trying to learn to take breaks and/or relax without booze. It’s not that hard as long as I actually take a break. I will be more productive in the end.

  • #118976

    Participant

    I had a bad day too and was sooo tempted to buy a bottle of wine. But I decided to go for a walk on the beach instead which helped to calm me down. It’s true. Drinking wouldn’t have made it any better. It may have numbed the pain for a short period, but the disappointment in me, the shame, the groggy, heavy feeling in the morning would have been much worse than pushing through. I need to create different patterns and habits, but it will take a while as they are so ingrained over so many years.

  • #119142

    Participant

    This was my first hard day since starting this program. I let someone rain on a couple of my parades today and by the time I had dinner ready, I was about to cry from worrying about the things she said. My husband was very supportive and offered to dance in the kitchen with me if it would help me relax *and* help me to not pour a glass of wine. Then I really did cry – and dance – because he was so sweet. Then I read Day 9..I read at night then re-read in the morning and do th actions. Reading about worrying was perfect for me tonight. I can’t do anything about all the things my friend as telling me that I am doing wrong, but I can choose to not worry about it and take action in the morning – after doing my action items here.

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