Day 19 – Letting Go of Negative Influences

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  • #4709

    Reply to this thread with some of the positive “inputs” that you are using to replace negative influences in your life or how you are limiting your exposure to negativity- Day 19 – Letting Go of Negative Influences. You might find some great ideas to help you as well as inspire others with your own.

  • #8258


    I have started listening to podcasts on my phone. I listen to them in the car and when I’m on the treadmill at the gym. Mostly, the podcasts are from public radio shows-game show, social sciences, story-telling, nature, and the most important one is about spirituality and being human. I always feel hopeful and connected to the world when I listen to any of these. I more or less gave up watching the news – it is all depressing and mean-spirited.

    I’d love to have the content for 30-Day Solution available via podcast. The web site has been an amazingly helpful companion.

    • #11608


      How do you get the podcasts?how do I get the podcasts?

      • #15093


        Hi just google “blogs” you will find plenty of interesting and uplifting stuff.

      • #15108


        If you haven’t listened to Tara Brach’s podcast….it’s a must! She’s into mindfulness and her podcasts/teachings go hand in hand with lesson in this book.

      • #17591


        The app Audials is awesome to. It lets you lookup all kinds of radio programs like talk radio as well as a huge variety of podcasts.

        • #17596


          Hi @ mark329. I just installed the app you mentioned. Thanks for the tip! Let me know your recommendations! Thanks again! Onward, Sina

  • #8347

    Thank you for sharing your technique. I would imagine many things are better than the news, and I’m glad you’ve found a way to incorporate these podcasts into your daily life. Best of luck!

    • #11609


      How do I get the podcasts?

  • #8360


    I’ve created a whole new night time routine. I only watch three shows/week on tv. Two of them are half hour sitcoms and one is a dramedy for an hour.
    My routine is coming home from work, turning on some music, firing up some essential oil in my diffuser, and checking my email (I want to incorporate more yoga/movement/meditation into this time period). Then I have dinner, study and read, sometimes take a relaxing bath and listen to guided meditation/sleep hypnosis. It’s a very nurturing and relaxing routine, and I love it.
    It means less time with my dh who spends all his free time in front of the tv, but it seems that the watching the 3 shows that we do share is more special than before when I was getting sucked into all the mindless tv.
    Music invigorates me and tv generally drains me. This has been a positive side-effect of sobriety!

  • #8882


    I have pretty much given up all tv except for Dancing With The Stars ,The Voice and some sports.I gave up News and newspapers 7 years ago when I read and listened to The Secret. My next biggest challenge is staying away from or spending less time with negative ,complaining friends who choose to stay stuck where they are1 Unfortunately one is my Bff for over 26 years!!
    How do I go about doing that/ and the same with neg family?

    • #8936

      Hi @biancalana- there’s really no easy way to handle negative influences when they are close friends or family. Luckily, Dave and Jack foresaw this as an issue and it is covered in Day 27. I am confident this will help you figure out how to address these relationships. Best of luck!

  • #8885


    Where do I find the 2 faces of envy? and the completed new story?

    • #8919


      I don’t know, I have not located them either.

    • #8935

      Hi @bianalana and @ted, thank you for the question. Since we are still currently in beta-launch, we do not have all of the information up on the website as of yet. We are working to complete everything as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.

  • #8891


    I wrote the My NEW Life story and had fun doing it. It really flowed easily as I imagined all the effects of the positive changes of living 100% committed to sobriety. I have unleashed unlimited enthusiasm for life. I ask ,trust(believe) and receive, knowing I deserve the best and accept it now. I am truly grateful
    for this program, thank you Dave and Jack. I am incredible grateful for all of the abundance in my life. (Today is my 31st day in sobriety)

  • #9053


    I just wrote a wonderful and affirming letter to the future me. That was an amazing experience. I really felt the pain when I was describing why I started this program but also feel so distant from that person already. I am so excited to see where I am when I receive that letter back in one year. So grateful!!!

    • #9563


      Great idea jclaire!. I’ll write that letter too

    • #20665


      I liked creating new story as well. I found the ask, receive, believe and be grateful to be very helpful in redefining my affirmations. I am familiar with Hicks and have read before, but this program has helped me incorporate it with all the other information in an easier and more productive way. Of course I have been sober for 20 days so that might be why as well!!! Have a great day everyone!!

  • #9590


    I have never been a TV junkie but do watch more than enough news and politics. I will cut back on both and replace them with playing and/or listening to music and DVDs from the library that are uplifting and/or educational . I have also been in the habit of turning on NPR in the middle of the night if I awake and have trouble falling back to sleep. Since quitting alcohol my sleep is better so this is less of an issue but when it does happen I’ll think about my plans, dreams and vision statements.

  • #10083


    I think I will apply the clear water solution. Make all my actions, thoughts, communications, etc, focused on the solutions that will help me achieve the peace of mind that I’m desiring. Clear and positive in= cloudy negative out.

  • #10895


    I do a 5 minute Gratitude Meditation almost every morning. It helps get the day off to a good start. Also, when I feel like I’m not enough or doing enough to reach a certain goal, and start feeling anxious or like I’m failing, I stop and think of something I’m grateful for. Usually this small distraction is all I need to feel less anxious and get out of a slump. As often as I think of it, I constantly look for things I’m grateful for, even if they are really small.

    • #11610


      Hey, is the Gratitude meditation a guided recording?

  • #12592


    I really appreciated Day 19 -The Attraction Solution- the chapter really cleared up how what I want is actually what I am. And I have the power to actually do something about what I am!

    And I had a little insight into my own tendency to be a “negative Nancy” – thus attracting negativity or also pushing away positive people and opportunities. Aha!

    My “next year” looks brighter. I’m on Day 19, 38 days in, haven’t really lost weight, but I’m learning how to enjoy being sober. Every day gives me a tool that helps. The forums are really helpful, reading from everyone’s experience, so thank you all for sharing.

  • #13023


    For positive influence I listen to sermons on line from powerful pastors all over the country. Andy Stanley, Robert Morris, Levi Lusko, Matt Chandler, Judah Smith just to name a few. TV shows with violence have always been difficult for me to watch and my husband’s favorite news channel usually leaves me feeling anxious about the future. I have a passion for books and music so I frequent my public library. Wrote the letter to my future self thriving in sobriety. Meeting with a sober friend today I haven’t had the courage to reach out to until now. My future is so bright ” I gotta wear shades”!?

  • #15109


    I listen to podcasts (Tara Brach’s is my favorite) and books on tape via Audible. I read a few books about people who had drinking problems and made it out but there was lots of negative about drinking outcomes in the book which “attracted negative”/made me actually crave alcohol.

    I will also fill my time by writing gratitude notes to people on my list.

  • #16824


    Thanks LovetobeActive for the Tara Brach suggestion.
    Today I realized that in addition to the crazy-making from the news, almost every single TV program or movie I choose to see is really stressful and horrific (Walking Dead, Homeland, 24, Designated Survivor, Bates Motel) – no wonder I would chug the wine while watching. I was actually stressing myself out watching these scenarios.
    Tonight I saw the movie Logan & it was 75% graphic violence. People in the theater were cheering at decapitations. After today’s readings I am more aware of these kinds of images because I want to reprogram my subconcious mind – not only for sobriety but also for chronic pain.

  • #17522


    I’m disappointed that a year ago someone else was looking for the references from the book (envy and story example) and was given the excuse that the website was in beta and the content was being added. A year! It seems like the authors have moved on from this project to something else and left behind this partially completed skeleton. If it were not for the support being posted by other ‘students’, I probably would have given this up already do the frustrations of finding broken promises on this site. And yes, I have submitted this through the contact link and have only heard the crickets for weeks. To end on a positive note, again, my gratitude to you that post and share what works for you and the suggestions that you give. Peace.

  • #17523


    Hi @remington22. Yes, it’s disappointing. This is primarily Dave Andrews fault IMO, Jack Canfield has partnered with promising authors to help them launch books. He lends his time, effort, and most importantly his Name. Then he returns to his own projects. Dave is squandering this opportunity and letting down a lot of folks it would appear. I’ve tried time and again to contact him on this matter
    HOWEVER, the program still stands as one of the finest, and this Companion Website still functions well enough to ensure success for those who give 100% Commitment.

    Consider posting encouragement to others yourself! It does a world of good for people to be heard and appreciated! Thanks!
    Onward, Sina

  • #19673


    I’m having a hard time with an upcoming trip to visit family members during the holidays. 1/2 of the family shares the views of a jingoistic, anti-semitic, misogynist and I do not want to be around those attitudes, not to mention everybody drinks. In addition, my mother always has negative things to say about me, my father and most all family members How to handle this? It is very toxic for me. I get filled with dread just at the thought even though I tend to be a very positive person. I really do not want to go but my father is very insistent despite the yearly fights. Last year I did not go. I was lonely but at least there were no fights…

  • #19985


    Fortunately, I cut out negative news and facebook and other social media about 18 months ago, not out of any intelligence on my part – I just couldn’t take it anymore. I tend to watch and read financial news, which has its own biases and reporting issues, but does tend to focus more on practical information and doesn’t really engage in rage-stoking like the more traditional news outlets. I do also listen to podcasts and audible and engage more in learning (online and through books) than keeping up with current events. I realize I need to keep up with current events to some degree, but it is difficult to do that without being sucked into the anger vortex. Like some of the others above, my family members (primarily my wife and now our 11-year old) are negative broadcasters and I am trying to find a way to not be sucked into the negativity they wallow in, but it’s difficult because they seem to enjoy bringing me into their misery and get upset when I’m not willing to go there all the time. Meditation helps. Lots and lots and lots of meditation.

  • #19987


    I COMPLETELY understand brightpath’s post, and the other posts in this thread. It’s difficult to protect ourselves from negativity when it’s coming from family members. Reminds me of “you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them”. This method is working for me. The book and website will probably be an important part of my day for a long, long while. The support this chat site offers is amazing. Tomorrow I start my on-line French course. I took 101 a few months ago and will now start 102. My brain will be so much happier with some good learning, rather than inebriation. Have a WONDERFUL day!

    • #19990


      Nice work taking up French katballou – although I have only about 30-45 minutes of free time a week (which has been one of the triggers for my drinking), I’ve been trying to teach myself software development. 30-45 minutes per week isn’t the best way to learn something detailed like that, but the feeling of learning something new is very positive. Et bonne chance avec le deuxième cours de français.

      • #19992


        Merci beaucoup, brightpath! I appreciate your kind words very much! You speak French! And you even included accents! Most impressive! Have a bright & beautiful day today!

  • #20397


    I stopped listening to regular radio stations last year sometime. I listed to an amazing all classical station in Southern California evveryday on my commute. It is funny because when you go back to a “classic rock” or “alternative” station the same songs play that I would have heard back then! You can only bare “Welcome to the Jungle” so many times. I still watch TV some time but it is usually comedy series by Netflix- so not negative. Also I make a point to have my earbuds in at work and listen to any and every free health summit or Podcasts out there; this makes it easier to not have to listen to the incessant complaints of one co-worker inparticular. There is tons of free info available to help us on this Sobriety journey. I recommend everyone finds an app to stream a Classical Music station and revisit the greats.

    • #20398


      Hi @yogiintraining-18.
      KUSC is the ONLY radio station in Southern California!!! No commercials all Music.
      As far as Comedy, Wanda Sykes and Craig Ferguson are hilarious! Netflix/YouTube are great resources, especially if you own a Smart TV!
      Onward, Sina

  • #120218


    I have stopped watching the news—well, not entirely, but the news right now is devastating, and left me with no hope for the future of the planet. It’s so overwhelming negative that I was regularly sobbing while watching TV.

    I avoid TV before bed and instead listen to calming CDs, and also listen to the recordings I have on my phone that I have of me reading my affirmations.

  • #120780


    I already stopped watching the news, but it still pops up sneekily in sites I may visit. Just annoying!

    I have been doing m 30DSS religiously just before bed. Today, it was pretty powerful to see m yself a year in the future and ask for what I want. It is not political or based on the stories we get bombarded with. My wants are dreams of being a good person, healthy, a good sister, friend, and wife, feeling happy for my contributions, and knowing what I can change and what I cannot.

    I wrote in a year, “I love my life and deserve it. It is a dream come true, and I am thriving financially, spiritually, mentally, and happy…”

  • #120783


    Hi chrise86 … I love your good post. I will keep your good words in mind. Have a great day!

  • #122035


    Hello Everyone,
    I am so happy to have found the 30-day program. I am waking up energized, vibrant and full of energy and start my day with my mantra “Today is the best day of my life” and my gratitude mantra “Thank you, God, Jesus, HolySpirit and Buddha (yes I am a Catholic-Buddist) for my Thriving in Sobriety” This starts my day with a wonderful feeling of accomplishment and ready to face the day! So of course when I get home, I use my morning Mantras but change it a bit to be grateful for a wonderful work day! I go to the Gym – Monday through Saturday and workout for about 1.5 hours. I get home, feed my dog, tidy up my home, shower have a light meal and watch 1 show (GOT) (Billions) (Romantic comedies) I stopped watching TV news and the so-called “Reality TV” over 3 yrs ago and only stream my shows and I watch the last 30 minutes before bed only “Comedy shows” I use the computer to select what news to watch but mostly happy news (you can search the net for happy news) and weather. I go to bed at 22:00 hrs and get up at 06:00 Monday through Friday. Now that I am doing the 30-days program and having been sober for 19 days, and combine with my daily exercise I have lost 9kg and I am very excited that I am SOBER and THRIVING! Working towards my ideal weight of 68kg, currently at 103kg from 112kg when I started to go to the gym on 03-04-2019

  • #122114


    Last week I literally turned off a movie called “The Book Club” because in almost every scene the actors and actresses had big glasses of wine or drinks. Jane Fonda was literally drinking vodka out of the bottle. CLICK you are off.
    There is so much romancing of booze out there. Not so romantic if you black out every night and gain 30lbs, not to mention the Uber bill. Victory is mine! Thankful.

  • #122186


    I’ve stopped listening to the news in my car and have rediscovered how great music can make horrible traffic seem to just disappear.
    I’m also so happy to have found this site. I hope I can figure out how to better reach people on here.

    • #123042


      It is really hard to find many people using this site but at least there are a few of us Still out here I do really enjoy reading everybody’s post it helps Remind me I’m not alone in this journey I think I should start listening to the news too it really depresses me and stresses me out I am just thankful for the last 13 days I’d really don’t think it would be possible without this book. I have really been working on trying to forgive myself and let myself heal And remind myself that when I started drinking I didn’t start because I was a bad person I started because I felt bad about myself and I was just trying to dull the pain
      I was just a teenager trying to fit in just like everybody else

  • #123039


    Day 19 Day 12 AF – I noticed a lot of mentions of podcast listening and I couldn’t agree more. Stitcher is a good listening app and Spotify offers podcasts as well. One of my new favorites is LeVar Burton Reads, I grew up with Reading Rainbow and who doesn’t love Next Gen, great short stories and he has a fantastic reading voice. All short stories from different authors, funny, sci-fi, etc. Great way to unwind and use my imagination. It has been a great way to stay positive and learn about new authors, without the negative spin from the news or T.V. in general. Also, the Headspace app for meditation has really good sleep stories that make bedtime something I look forward to without the need to pass out.

  • #123508


    One of my interests has been true crime documentaries. I realize after Day 19 that true crime is really morbid and macabre. I have decided to eliminate watching it. I will start watching and reading more wholesome and uplifting material; for example, reading the Bible and watching positive programs.

    • #123509


      Good plan. I used to really enjoy music but got away from it for several years. Now that I’m sober, i’ve had more time to start enjoying uplifting music again. Puts me in a great mood.

  • #123765


    This program is finally working for me after 2 failed attempts within the last 2-3 months. It took a month-long return to daily drinking and waking up with awful hangovers to finally get me to snap out of it. I have not had a drink in over a week and have very little to no urge to do so. Even when I feel that little voice in my head telling me it’s ok to slip, I have the ability to let that thought pass me by. Tapping has helped me tremendously, with or without saying the affirmations and brief statements as I do it.

    My new night time routine consists of drinking several cups of hot herbal tea. I have a variety of flavors so I don’t get bored. I watch far less TV than I ever have other than one show at a time on Netflix and I try to limit myself to 1 episode per day, occasionally 2 if the weather isn’t great. I have been avoiding the news at all costs regarding COVID-19, BLM, the election, etc. This means I am also trying to avoid lingering on my Facebook timeline because I have many very outspoken friends on all sides of the issues and I find that if I sit and read it all I instantly feel tense, offended, angry, and many other feelings that can be detrimental to my success in sobriety right now.

    In the evening, I also enjoy doing crossword puzzles, reading a brief Bible verse and devotional, and I always pray just before I go to sleep. I always begin my prayer with gratitude because every day I am sober is something to be thankful for, among all the many blessings I already have been given. I am almost becoming sad that I have just 11 days left, but I know I will continue to refer to this book, this website, the solutions, my journal, and all the notes I’ve taken during the program.

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