Day 23 – Mental Makeover

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5 days, 21 hours ago.

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  • #5012

    MENTAL MAKEOVER: Daniel Goleman defines emotional intelligence (or emotional sobriety) as “Being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope.” Reply to this thread – Day 23 – Mental Makeover – with any pet peeves you have noticed, or anything else over the last few weeks that has negatively influenced you. Then share which process (The Work, Mental Makeover, or The Sedona Method) worked best for you to attain emotional sobriety in your life.

  • #7103


    Whete is the Sedona Method? Where is the video with Bryon Katie?

    • #7105

      Thank you for the question- we don’t currently have the information up on the website yet. But in the meantime, I wanted to share a few websites with you. Here is a great article explaining The Sedona Method. The summary, which will be added to the website in the next few weeks, was taken from this article.

      In addition, thank you for pointing out the missing Bryon Katie video. I see the wrong video is posted in Action Step 2 for today. Here is a link to The Work, where you can find several videos of Bryon explaining the process.

      Hope that helps!

      • #123614


        When are you guys planning on updating this website? The same problems exist as they did 4 years ago and it continues to be in beta. Have you guys given up on the companion website or can we expect to see any improvements?

        • #123643


          Good question! I’d love to know the answer too! It seems to be so close to fully finished and yet feels abandoned … what happened?

  • #7135


    Than you!

  • #7136


    That is thank you!!

  • #7898


    I’ve been doing the Work for a few years and really find it helpful. I do find it difficult to turn around the statement – I shouldn’t drink. Any thoughts?

    • #8152


      So interesting…I have done a little bit of TheWork before but always from the “judging your neighbor” not myself. Was the thought “I shouldn’t drink”…where u started? I just keep thinking the turnaround is “I should drink -but choose not to”. Also, ask yourself “is there a peaceful reason to keep that thought” Sorry I am not more help.

  • #8675


    I have just read this chapter and found the difference between feelings and emotions very interesting. I am happy to report that I have not had the opportunity to apply the ” mental Make-over ” process yet. Actually, I just finished reading and journaling….give it time. I know I’ll have opportunities to practice this new skill. I’m actually looking forward to it. Also, quite by accident I bumped into a couple of Tara Brach’s videos on self-doubt and anxiety… Similar in process ( the anxiety one) and very helpful as well.

  • #8938


    I have been enjoying the program and it is definitely helping me to maintain sobriety. But on Day 23, I find the examples of emotions and feelings are examples of life annoyances. Annoying co-workers or bad drivers I can handle. It’s the bigger issues such as major illnesses, financial problems, or worries about one’s adult children that cause ongoing stress in life. I’m just trying to figure out how the mental makeover or the Work applies to problems that seem more threatening.

  • #9141


    Me too. I’d like to wrap my head around using these approaches/methods on what I perceive as my greater stresses…like your examples, chloe-marlow54.
    but i haven’t figured it out yet. i will try looking at the videos about the Work that were mentioned in another thread. Good luck to all!

  • #9445


    Today is my birthday. I am marking it this way:64/46/6. 64 years old/46 days of thriving in sobriety/6 weeks duration. This is highly successful for me since I cannot remember a time in the past that I was sober longer than 6 weeks. This chapter detailing the Mental Makeover is truly valuable for me. The Work- book by Byron Katie, I read several years ago, thought it was useful at that time. With my current perspective, and so much else offered in this 30 Day book, I am not relating much to Byron`s method but I am fine with that. The beauty in these 46 days and what matters most, is that I have taken from this book what vibrates most with me and have profoundly and fundamentally shifted. My body, mind and soul are grateful beyond measure.

    • #9484


      Congratulations! I turned 62 on the 6th with 23 days of thriving in sobriety! I too find this book has shifted my perspective in so many important ways. The Future Me meditation was a revelation. Good luck!

  • #12440


    30 days and the website have saved me! I was not a heavy drinker. I mostly drank while cooking. However, my meal preps became longer and the wine glass kept getting “refreshed”. I used it for stress and for physical pain from neck and back. The next day I felt crummy with sinus pain, and was just not present. I needed to stop! In combo with some heavy meds,i.e. lyrica for just one, the effect of the wine was enhanced causing imbalanced gait. Family became concerned. Friends and even MD assured me that I wasn’t an Alcoholic because I didn’t drink that much! I KNEW I HAD a PROBLEM!
    I couldn’t stop! I tried several times and even did on-line AA which made me feel like I was a terrible person and that I would never stop. I would always be stuck in that place.
    During the 30 day program I was able to change my perspective on drinking and on me.
    It really makes you do the work and delve deep into your subconscious. I appreciate all the tools I have learned from this program. If I get any cravings, which I find are getting few and few, I just recognize it and say to myself ” the stress or pain is not going to go away with wine so if you do drink Remember how crappy you will feel the next day. I make a cup of tea or an have a seltzer with lemon, and I’m fine.
    What a joy! Thank you so much for writing this wonderful book!

  • #15965


    Truly a powerful,inspiring and timely chapter for me. This really got to my core,just like yesterdays chapter. Thank you

  • #18550


    Day #23 most complex set of solutions so far and very valuable!

    I love the way the days build upon themselves so that as I am learning the new solution, I’m practicing the previous ones and so they are becoming rooted in my thriving lifestyle day by day.

    The Work system is simple and surprisingly enlightening. I used it the first time with a profound “problem” and it revolutionized my thinking and response. I will keep practicing the method.

    The Sedona Method I found a bit vague and philosophical which doesn’t resonate with me as well.

    Overall, the Mental Makeover is a good encapsulation of the cited methods and systems. I feel like I have accomplished a lot in this one day.

    Thank You

  • #18551


    I can’t seem to access or even find most of the videos mentioned in the book. I’ve sent several emails to support and have gotten no reply??

  • #20418


    Yes agreed. I too, have not found the Extra help that is supposed to be available as per the book – seems like maybe the Authors of the book have under delivered on their “Sale” of the book. It’s rather disappointing when the advertisement/sales pitch of the book is that there is all this extra help online and yet it is Not true….where is the Integrity….I’m working my way through the book and find a lot of the info very helpful, but find it extremely disappointing that the help that is outlined in the book is not provided – and they can again say that “you have everything you need” and that’s just a cop out for not delivering what they sold. I’m actually disappointed that an Author with such wealth (Chicken soup for the soul) can’t ensure that what they are selling meets their promised goods….they can also say that i’m being negative and actually all I’m doing is calling them on their not delivered products…there’s many books out there that are helpful on this subject and why would anyone buy this one when they don’t even live up to what they say they are going to deliver? It’s not like these comments of the missing info were written a month ago…they’re written TWO YEARS AGO….it all comes down to Honesty and Integrity and any company that Advertises something and does not deliver, is not in business for very long….come on – it can’t be that hard to load the info that’s outlined in the book….people are wanting the help and are Obviously Eager to learn (as evidenced by all the people asking on different days “where’s the info that’s promised in the book”?- and they only want what has been promised to be delivered in the book.

    • #20420


      Hi @sillybear.

      First off, the Companion Website is Dave Andrews baby. All blame for it’s inadequacies (although we need to stop focusing on blame and complaining, as Chapter 1 advises!!) lies with Dave Andrews.
      Jack Canfield often partners with promising authors to help them in a worthwhile project. He was persuaded by Dave to lend his brand and name to this book and he put in much time and effort adapting his book “The Success Principles” to addiction. Jack has Addiction in his own family as you have read in the Introduction. However Jack had his own life/projects which he returned to, and this book/Program is strictly Dave Andrews hands.

      Secondly, this website, which needs TLC, isn’t maintained properly by Dave for a variety of reasons I am unable to go into. Although this dismays me, I still can attest to the fact that that it works well enough to ensure success with the Program.

      Furthermore, for an interactive website of total anonymity at no additional cost, it’s a hard value to beat. If you got the book from the library, it costs you nothing. That is a good price.

      If you continue to focus on the negative, you diminish your chance for a great outcome. I encourage you to (as they say in AA) take what works and leave the rest.
      Please keep posting for support. If you post under the most recent topic on each day’s Solution or start your own Topics, you’ll circumnavigate some of the failings of this site and reap the rewards of connecting with folks currently active on the Forums.

      The program, even as it stands now, and even if there wasn’t this Companion Website, has the power to help you succeed in Thriving in Sobriety and Life in my experience!

      Onward! Sina

  • #20421


    That’s funny.
    1) I purchased the book.
    2) the challenge with difficult people is that they Don’t take Responsibility or accountability for their deficiencies/lack of production.
    3) instead they Deflect and make excuses
    4) I’ve read the Day 1 and every Day actually so please Don’t Insult me. I always commit to a program and do all the work in order to Optimize results.
    5) customer service means acknowledging the customers valid complaint of the Package advertised is not = to the Package provided.
    Please Raise the concerns with Management and tell the customer that it has been Logged instead of trying to Diminish them with reminders of the material which I already predicted and indicated that you would absolve of the Responsibilities by saying negativity. It’s simply Fact and Truth. The info referenced in the book is Not available. Accept that it’s deficient and apologize for the deficiencies and work towards offering the product referenced. It’s as simple as that. Have a great day!

    • #122777


      Sina i’m proud of how you handled that 🙂

  • #20423


    Hi again @sillybear!

    I would be surprised if you get any response from Dave Andrews. Probably the only way you will get a response is if you respond to his Pitch, by email, to join his Inner Circle workshops.

    I, Sina, am in no way affiliated with Dave Andrews. However, I reiterate that this Program will work for Many of those who have been able to use the resources it provides. I believe the Success rate it promises is lower than those claimed. I also think that this is more attributable to the intractable nature if Addiction than to the quality and content of this or any other program.
    Having said that, in my opinion there are also other resources available. I hear that you are frustrated by the lack of feedback and missing content.
    I can steer you toward other resources I have found helpful, and which, in my view, pair well with this Program if you would like.

    In my quest to Thrive in Sobriety I have used many in addition to the 30DSS.
    And my life has been transformed and continues to be!
    I wish you every success Fellow Sobriety Seeker!
    Onward, Sina

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