Day 3 and missing wine

This topic contains 10 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by

8 months ago.

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  • #122057


    Day 3 for me and Day 3 with no booze. I am missing wine. I have an event tonight where there will be an open bar. Before, I would have embraced this as an opportunity to get wasted. I am not planning on drinking and have embraced the 100% mindset, but it also makes me sad. Will I have any fun? Will I be bored with the small talk? Will anxiety set in and make me want to run away? I have been on edge all afternoon. The thought of getting ready without my 1st glass (of many) of wine makes me sad. Like I am losing an old friend. Just wanted to type out my struggles. I am just going to take tonight one hour at a time. Maybe one minute at a time. I am also volunteering at this event (its a fundraiser) and I am working the table that auctions off nice bottles of wine. Isn’t that ironic? LOL.

  • #122058


    Hi Jennymaz92.
    How did it go?

    • #122060


      Hi sinaqueena! I did it! I was on edge when we got there. Fortunately, my husband is joining me in the 30 days for moral support. As I glanced around the room, all I could see were all of my friends and acquaintances drinking wine, beer, mixed drinks. I wanted one SO BAD. But, I just kept chugging water. It was fruit infused water and actually quite tasty. I did my job at the table selling raffles tickets for nice bottles of wine and my husband stayed right by my side. So many people kept asking us if they could get us a drink while we were sitting there, and I wanted to scream, YESSSSSSS!!!!!! But just politely said no thanks, I have something, lifting my water glass. One woman who I am normally “partners in crime” with when it comes to drinking at events asked why I wasn’t drinking. I gave my rehearsed line of “Oh, we are doing a 30 day cleanse!” and she told me I was “boring”. LOL. After our time volunteering, we walked around for a bit and I noticed how LOUD the place was, something that would never have bothered me if I were drinking. My husband turned to me and said, if we are not having fun, we don’t have to stay. I was so relieved he said that! The food looked terrible anyway, haha. So, we left at 8:30 and went out for a late supper at a restaurant in our n’hood. We had a whole bottle of fancy sparkling water, haha! I was much more relaxed and it was almost bedtime! We went home and went to bed. I did it! I am now on Day 5 and about to overcome another challenge–Mother’s Day dinner with my MIL! If I can do this without wine, I can do ANYTHING! Thank you for asking–it means a lot to know that there are so many others out there struggling just like me 🙂 Here’s to Day 5 and the big ole cheeseburger I plan on eating later!

  • #122061


    What a great thing to hear on this Mother’s Day!!! Did you not feel wonderful basking in your accomplishment and going to bed with clear memories of your evening!? Sounds like you have a wonderful partner in your corner too! Isn’t it interesting to hear the decibels of human commotion increase at events including Alcohol? I have had my share of “reverse role model” therapy at some. I try to remember that I wore those shoes in the not so distant past when I am tempted to pass (unkind) Judgement, even as I look for the nearest escape route!
    The 100% Solution has helped me innumerable times. Here is a video from Craig Beck, another (” in your face”) Sobriety Coaching evangelist, which I revisit from time to time when I need a swift kick in the ass!!
    Onward Friend!!!

  • #122072


    Hi Jenny, Your posts are great! This is exactly how it goes, especially in the beginning. With each success you have, you will get stronger, and then it becomes easier. Looking back over the year 2018, I have gotten through so many trigger situations without alc, with the help of this program. (The Time Travel Technique especially). Surfing the Urge helps, too, and you can go into YouTube and see a few presentations on this. You are doing excellently!!

  • #122165


    I am just an hour past my danger time-zone, now about 8:15 PM on my Day 3, and I really, really enjoyed reading your post above, Jenny, from your Day 3 evening event. * I hope you’re nearing Day 30, should be any day now! *

    I loved your narrative when your friends passed by the table and offered, “Can we get you a drink while you’re here?” And your wanting to scream, “YESSSSSSS!” LOL. Too funny, but that’s the way I’ve been feeling on Day 3 also.

    Today was very challenging. Since my wife’s been out of town for a few weeks visiting her mother and family, I’ve had a license to DRINK as much as I want for the past few weeks. I’m not a pass-out drinker, but I drink every night and sometimes 5, 6, or 8 drinks. And I took that license, until Day 1 just this past Sunday, June 2.

    My 20-year old son is home from university for the summer, and he’s into having some wine or drinks every now and then, so we’ve had a few drinks together over the past few weeks. But she doesn’t approve of him drinking, so while she’s been out, we’ve had a few nights together. Nothing crazy, but we got pretty buzzed listening to music and watching movies. So last night, he wasn’t aware I was on Day 2, and he says, “So, Dad. Mom’s coming home Wednesday night so we can party on Tuesday night!”

    I’m like, “Uh, well…,uh, I’m on Day 2 in my book so I’m not drinking tomorrow night!” (I had showed him the book a few days ago when I bought it and brought it home, and he knows I do battle with drinking).

    He replied, “What? You mean we’re not drinking on the last night before Mom gets home?”

    “Nope,” I replied. “You can, but I’m not.” I wanted sooooo badly to say, “OH, yes, hell YES! Let’s party tomorrow night before your Ma gets home on Wednesday night!” But I didn’t. I told him I’d pick him up a few White Claws–spiked, flavored, seltzer waters, which he likes–and he could have a few, but not me. Earlier today, Day 3, I was at the grocery store and I did pick the White Claws up for him, but nothing for me.

    He works in the afternoon and so I’m on my own in the afternoon. I decided to drive over to the nearby park with our two dogs to give them a walk. Then, of course there’s a liquor store next to the Safeway grocery store just a few blocks from the park, and so the entire time I’m walking the dogs the temptation to go pick up a nice bottle of red wine almost…almost got me. I could have gotten home and said to my son, “Hey, I changed my mind. Let’s drink together tonight before Ma gets home, then I’ll start my Day 3 tomorrow!” But I decided to hang tough and to make him, and mostly myself, proud. I was very, very tempted, and I went to battle inside my head a few times during the time I was walking the dogs.

    My battle lasted another hour after I got back home, around 5:00 PM. I could have excuse to go get some wine for myself. Then we made and ate dinner and it was 7:30 PM. The threat was gone; between 5:00 and 7:30 are my weakest times, so I made it through! Yay!! It’s now past 8:30 PM, and I’m only a few hours away from bedtime. I’m safe and ready to wake up on Day 4 feeling very relieved.

  • #122433


    Hi Frjensen1358

    Well done, mate – that’s really inspirational. Good for you and great example for your son too. I think I’ll keep coming back to your post. I was feeling weak tonight (“I miss wine” moments) even though I’ve completed everything in the book and online tonight. Your story changed that and gave me another dimension to self control. Well done.

  • #122554


    I am on day 3 and I would love to hear how each of you who shared your journey here are doing.

  • #122575


    I am on day 3. I just watched the video posted above by Craig Beck and found it incredibly helpful! Thank you Sinaqueena for posting this!!!
    I was not at 100% commitment until I watched this video. So I’ve decided to be at 100% for 30 days. I’m feeling excited at this moment to stop feeling bad about this habit and ready to embrace my sober life gladly–not with will power or sadness, but with passion!

    It’s Sunday and I usually drink wine or champagne and cook after church. Instead I’m going to work on my beautiful novel and do some fun stuff with my kids, and take things one moment at a time.

    If I experience a craving, I’ll remind myself that it’s just the infinitely powerful subconscious–not who I am anymore. And then treat it as an addiction, not a confusion! Because I’ve made up my mind. I am no longer a happy drinker!!!

    How do I feel on day three? I am grateful it’s not day 1 or 2. I don’t have any physical cravings at the moment, although I likely will at sundowners time between 5-7pm. Which is when I will eat. The good news is that I like many food and drinks better than wine.

    I feel clear-headed and well slept and energetic. Thank you for your support, people!

  • #122588


    I am on day 3 but this is my second time around. The first time I did great for the first 6 months but then I thought I had this under control and could drink socially. Having a take it or leave it attitude and only having 1 or 2 drinks on special occasions. That lasted for about the next six months, then life and stress got in the way and I went back to my old coping methods, wine. I still have a lot to learn but I’ve learned I am not a social drinker, complete sobriety is what I want and I am committed 100% to thriving in sobriety.

    • #122590


      Hi Marcie.
      Believe me, I have been through this scenario.
      The 100% Solution is the only way IMO!
      Onward! Sina

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