Day 3 Doldrums.

This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by

yma
 
Participant
2 months ago.

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  • #121609

    Participant

    It’s grey outside and slightly rainy and cold enough to almost be snow, but not…today, as Day 3 often feels, is emotionally shaky. My insides match the outside weather. I have a lot I “should” do (freelance projects) but feel like doing nothing. Typically I would jumpstart my motivation with a shot of something in my coffee. I’m torn between doing nothing (taking the day off and watching tv) or trying to do something fun or easy, or trying to figure out how to make some progress on my work…even a little. Getting behind in my work causes a lot of stress and overwhelm which is a path to the bottle. I’m scared without alcohol I won’t be able to ever motivate myself again but I also know that is not true. A saving grace is that my husband has jury duty today so he could come home at any time…I’d like to think I wouldn’t drink today anyway, but having that extra reason (him coming home to my whiskey breath would cause all kinds of problems) is a helpful anchor. My brain is buzzy with negativity but I feel super-tired at the same time. Will check back in later, I think.

  • #121611

    Participant

    Alright. Took a nap, did the exercises, now going to gently get a little work done. Trying to not get attached to the negativity, knowing it will fade…it always does.

    • #121629

      Participant

      good thing to remind ourselves — the negativity always fades.

  • #121680

    Participant

    So, today is day three for me. I’ve been keeping very busy since day one with no room to indulge. And I’m doing so much physical activity that I’m going to bed exhausted. It helps. But today I’m achy all over (might be the physical activity…riding horseback, ranch horses), my mind feels dull and foggy, and I’m a little queasy. Could this be part of the detox process. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m hoping I feel more human soon. I almost felt better when I drank.

  • #121681

    Participant

    Hey elizabeth69 – sounds like your brain fog and queasiness could easily be detox symptoms. I feel that more on Day 2 – lethargic. The achy part is probably a combo of detox-induced and horse-induced – might need something a little lower-impact today!

    My Day 3 symptoms are different (a kind of anxiety, I think, like I’ve got too much energy), but I’ve found in my past attempts to quit drinking that Day 3 was my toughest day. That’s when I started to think exactly as you are thinking: “I almost felt better when I drank”.

    Was just listening to / reading Day 3, and I’m seeing it play out in my life (and maybe yours) EXACTLY as it is described: addiction forms because we get some kind of relief from pain (anxiety or queasiness), followed immediately with some pleasure.

    Haven’t done the exercises yet, but sounds like they’re meant to reinforce the drinking-pain connection and the sobriety-pleasure connection. I could use that right now ’cause I can feel the Day 3 ‘pain’ building, and a sobriety-pain connection forming instead (not good). I know that drinking would alleviate the pain, for a time, but I’d like to see Day 4 … or, better yet, see that Day 30 “New Me” whom I can’t yet see as anything more than a unicorn …

  • #121692
    yma

    Participant

    Today is my day 3 as well. I have been really, really tired the last 2 days. I am coming off of being sick for a week. While I was sick (respiratory) I still drank. I thought it would help me rest and sleep. It probably just made me sick longer.
    I relate to your story InspiredGypsy about getting stressed about not getting enough work done. I work for myself as an artist. I would drink just about every night for the sugar boost to help me get a few more hours of work in. Most of the time I was not very productive and often it would become several drinks and youtube watching. I should have just gone to bed and taken care of myself. Then I would wake up tired and unmotivated once again…..(old) story of my life!
    This is my second time on the 30DSS and the zillionth time I have tried to quit. I feel really determined. One thing that got me through the 30 days before was not only doing the program, but also paying for an online therapist ($45 a week). It was someone I could open up to about my feelings and issues and who made me feel accountable. We typed back and forth. I never have used the 30DSS forum before. This time I will and only use the therapy if I really feel I have to. I don’t want to start again in 30 days because it is always the same rabbit hole, every single time. Thanks you for being here everyone.

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