Day 3 out of 20

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Participant
5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #121604

    Participant

    My circumstance is a little different. I picked up the book at the library the beginning of December. I read up to Day 1 and had a travel obligation. I figured I would hold off from reading beyond Day 1 to actually make a commitment to something and do the exercises. (I have a habit of reading self help books but don’t bother with the homework.) After reading the introduction, the comments from people who have gone thru the 30 days peppered thru out the pages and the exercises at the end of day 1 I said I’m actually going to commit 100% to this. like the book say’s 99% is not a 100% commitment. I have never ever put my real thoughts on paper because, in the past, I guess I really didn’t want to know what I really thought about my drinking or what anybody else thought either.

    Well here’s where I’m at. I stopped drinking on December 19th, 2018. Yup a week before Christmas and 2 weeks before New Years. I just said to myself I’ll get to the book but I’m stopping drinking today the 17th. I’ve now been sober 20 days. I pick up the book back up this week and on Day 3. I’m doing the exercises for each day and I’m surprising myself that I’m putting my thoughts down on paper and I’m actually getting positive energy back from doing this.

    I shocked myself that I passed thru Christmas sober and we had a open house party on December 30th with guests and plenty alcohol that I actually went out and bought. By December 30th I was already 12 days sober and getting strength & mind clarity. Part of the strength came from what I think was the fact that all the guests were pretty much fresh new friends. They didn’t know my past and therefore didn’t know whether I drank or not and so I drank sparkling water in a solid cup and nobody knew the difference. When I got up New Years Day I was stunned. I don’t think I had been sober on New Years in 46 years….and I felt great and empowered. That in itself gave me some pretty strong courage.

    For now I think I have said enough. I may be on day 3 in the book but day 21 of sobriety. At the end of each day I post a marker in my cell phone calendar “Day X”. For me its my sobriety piggy bank that I watch grow every day. For those on the same journey I hope maybe this gives you some encouragement.

  • #121605

    Participant

    It gives so much encouragement. Thanks for sharing, Patrick!
    Totally relate to reading self-help and not following through with exercises. So glad this one is working for you.

  • #121630

    Participant

    great thoughts & encouragement, thanks for sharing!
    I especially like the idea of just drinking sparkling water in a solid cup so ‘nobody knows’ you’re not drinking. That’s pretty powerful — if it’s obvious you’re drinking a shirley temple while everyone else has a cosmo, you feel kind of left out; as if you have to make an excuse or give an explanation. Chances are no one cares and the desire to ‘explain’ is in our heads, which just adds to the anxiety and desire to drink. Does this resonate with anyone else? I’m going to try pouring myself something that looks like booze so at my next social gathering so that it’s a ‘secret’ that I’m not drinking, not a badge of dishonor. Somehow I feel there will be some comfort in that! Anyone agree? I don’t think it will resolve all of the anxiety around not drinking when everyone else is, but maybe it will mitigate it.

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