Home Page › All Forums › Day 8 – The “Why Can’t You Just Quit” Solution Community Forum › Day 8 Forum FAQ
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August 31, 2015 at 4:44 am #1425Keymaster
January 26, 2016 at 7:07 am #5924Participant
Hi. I think the Action Step #4 “tag” should read “Stop Comparing Yourself”; the way it is worded now is very similar to step #3. I saw on an earlier page that we should submit a support ticket, but that was giving me a hard time. No big deal — the content is correct, but I just wanted to let you know. Thank you for this wonderful resource.
January 26, 2016 at 11:26 am #5930Keymaster
Hi! Thank you so much for pointing this out. You’re right- it should say “Stop Comparing Yourself.” We’ve added this to our edits list and will get this fixed asap! We are so glad you are enjoying the program so far. Keep up the great work!
March 30, 2016 at 9:35 am #9036Participant
Making it through a weekend totally sober is a big deal – so day 8 is very important. I’ve used alcohol for over 30 years and rarely abstained for an entire week. I lay in bed last night and thought of all the others going through this process along with me and it helped to know I’m in good company. Thank you for your brilliant insight and support:)
January 26, 2017 at 8:56 am #16038Participant
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January 27, 2017 at 1:28 pm #16075Participant
Pseudo Willpower – Contemplation without real consistent action
19-Nov-16 “create a healthy diet and body i.e. no alcohol until weight <199 lbs”
3-Nov-16 “start diligent self-care”
28-Oct-16 “create a healthy diet and body”
1-Jun-16 “clean-up today”
13-Mar-16 “no alcohol binging”
20-Dec-15 “stop alcohol binging i.e. >1/2 bottle/day”
20-Dec-15 “clean up my own act – be binge free alcohol”
2-Aug-14 How do I attack myself?” -“binging medication”
11-May-14 goals “17 day diet no alcohol, weigh 205 lbs or less”
6-Mar-14 be “binge free – alcohol, food, emotional”
5-Feb-14 “alcohol binging”
“meditate away alcohol urges”
23-Dec-13 “transcend binging due to emotional distraction”
16-Jul-13 “I need to binge on alcohol to relax”
I must stop wine binging to have the energy to eat properly and lose weight”
goal – “get intimate with my own body”
10-May-13 “unbinge every way I can” 208 lbs
16-Apr-13 “binging reward – dulls lack of intimacy pain”
goal – “get intimate with my own body”
12-Apr-12 reference to alcohol binging 215 lbs
23-Oct-02 “binge to distract”
“transcend emotional distraction”
15-Jul-06 goal “reduce alcohol”
1-Sep-03 goal “reduce alcohol”
22-Jul-00 “drinking alcohol up to 1 bottle of wine at 1 sitting i.e. 18% alcohol is not a problem for me and helps me relax
3-Jan-98 “you can’t be energetic with a hangover”
September 17, 2018 at 10:29 am #120819Participant
Thank you for everything to date. Every day my energy is increasing and my desire to drink is disapating. The day 8 recording made me think of the last feeble effort to quit drinking on willpower alone. It was a car crash waiting to happen. The abhorrence I feel at getting into such a state and my accompanying suicidal thoughts have solidified through each and every day of the program. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.
August 4, 2019 at 11:18 am #122388Participant
Captain’s log, day 8 – First I must mention that these daily readings and exercises take me a lot longer than the 45 minutes I think was mentioned in the beginning to complete, maybe I’m just slow. Anyway I am taking this seriously and do find that it is quite refreshing to actually take the time to really study the person I have been and want to become. I spent the weekend at home alone so wasn’t tempted much but that was by design and I was reasonably productive and even had some fun. My previous best at abstinence in recent memory was 21 days, however I will declare my first weekend a success.
August 5, 2019 at 6:21 pm #122395Participant
Congratulations on a good weekend! I had a sober weekend although I got upset last night and wanted a drink ~ for a short while. You are right about the ‘taking longer than 45 minutes’ in my opinion. I do think that some days take longer than others but this one was a huge time consumer. And, I’m thinking they might get more involved from here. Maybe?
I didn’t like the movie exercise. I had a difficult time finding a hero, then I chose Stephen King, who I have admired for years. I have all his 50+ books and love his writing, went to NYC once specifically to hear him speak and admire him a whole lot. BUT ~ with him being in AA, he, of course, told me ‘the star’ should quit drinking, altogether. Which is not what I want or need. So, the exercise wasn’t much help.
Even my real life addictions counselor, who I have been seeing for over 10 years, doesn’t believe I need to ‘quit’ drinking, altogether, I just need to tone it down. I have a lot of issues that he has helped me with in that time ~ and I am much better off now. But, we both agree that I am very ‘self indulgent’ and reward myself too much ~ be it food, alcohol or what have you. I did spend 17 years in AA, clean, and then got hooked on pain pills which I took for pain ~ which are another matter entirely. But, my counselor and I are handling that matter. 🙂 I am definitely a pill addict.
Jeez, I realize that I am talking way too much and telling you way more than what you signed on here for. Sorry about that! But, I am very frustrated that the creators of this program don’t ever come on here anymore ~ and barely anyone else does either. It’s like Dave and Jack don’t really give a fuck about this site, anymore. 🙁 I find it very helpful to talk about problems and enjoy interacted with other humans who have somewhat the same issues as I do. THAT was the good part of AA, for me. I’m a happy atheist, so that was the bad part of AA, for me ~ the higher power. I am open to other people believing whatever works for them ~ but don’t try to make me what I’m not. I went that route already. 🙂
Anyway, when I started drinking, my counselor ~ who never believed I was an alcoholic in the first place (due to things I won’t get into now) ~ said ‘let’s see what happens now that you’ve had a couple of drinks’. I don’t do a lot of things that textbook alcoholics do. I never drink past a certain point ~ 2 or 3 ~ I can’t stand the thought of being sick and having the room spin, etc. But I do enjoy drinking more than I wish I did. I’d have two or three everyday if I had my way. So, I’m here to learn to ‘cut down’ and stop relying so much on alcohol when I am angry and upset OR when I am enjoying life a lot. I do tend to ‘use it’ for different reasons instead of just because I’d like a drink ~ I’d like to stop ‘using’ it and just enjoying it occasionally. None of my family consider it a problem for me or them ~ so I haven’t gone over any ‘lines’. So, I think my counselor is right, that I’m not an alcoholic. But, he and I both agree that I shouldn’t drink as often as I do. So, that’s my story, which you didn’t ask for. 😉
But, again, I do congratulate you on your sober weekend. Please, IF you feel comfortable, tell me your story with alcohol. I don’t know if we have anything in common other than drinking ~ I am an ‘older’ Canadian female ~ but we do have that in common. 🙂
August 5, 2019 at 5:47 pm #122394Participant
I love how the ‘creators’ of this program don’t even bother coming here anymore. It’s like they don’t give a flying fuck!
August 14, 2020 at 12:01 pm #124012
Hey! I’m on day 8 now and day 5 sober- after losing it last week on day 10. But I’m positive.
Wow I like what PJ writes above. Are you still around?
Other than that, I think at this point probably everyone doing the program needs to practice ‘forgiveness’ with the author Dave Andrews for points mentioned above. Last time I tried to do the 30 day program and I felt the anger creeping in on me each time looking at the forum in its abandoned state, the ‘TBD’ and ‘under construction’ and ‘beta’ notes that haven’t changed since 2016, while listening to his voice on the audio program so ‘enthusiastic’ and about commitment etc. I just couldn’t take it anymore I thought the whole thing is just fake.
So this time I did the forgiveness solution with Dave and I hope it helps to remove that block. I mean he has probably his own challenges, and reasons that we don’t understand. Also, he invested years of hard work into creating the program, and it has helped us and so many other people so much, which is something I am very much thankful for and I truly appreciate. Thanks Dave should you ever read this.
August 29, 2020 at 7:21 am #124093Participant
Hey there, I’m on day 8 and sober for all 8. I too resent the fact that no one is here, but f**k it!! I’m going strong and feeling good. I’m glad you’re hanging in there still (I hope). My biggest problem is my “Happy Hour”. That when it starts and it’s all downhill from there. I’m staying busy around that time (walking or eating an early dinner) which helps. Hoping to hear something, but if not, stay strong!!
August 29, 2020 at 7:24 am #124094Participant
Once again I haven’t heard anything on this board. Been 2 days since I posted, but I felt the need to vent. Day 8 here and I’m staying on track really well. 30 Day Solution is working and helping me big time. As well as keeping busy at my “trigger” times. Until next time dead air Forum 🙂
August 29, 2020 at 9:11 am #124095
I check this site every day.
I’m as frustrated as you with this site. I have recently been told by Jack Canfield’s CEO, who i got to email Dave Andrews not to expect a change on the Companion Website any time soon. (I participated in an “Emotional Reset ” with Jack Canfield using essential oils. Jack is now affiliated with “Young Living Essential Oils ” and co writing a book with someone on their team)
Co writing books with promising authors is what he does. I bet he sorely regrets writing this one with Dave Andrews who dropped the ball on making the 30 Day Sobriety Solution one of the top best sellers in Sobriety related books.
It’s a shame.
I have started a confidential support group that mirrors this one. It’s small yet I can guarantee you’ll get response each and every time you post.
Consider joining us!
I want you to join my group on MeWe: https://mewe.com/join/sobrietysociety
August 29, 2020 at 5:25 pm #124096
I’m currently on day 14 and post here about every other day.
There is more activity than you might realize due to the structure of the ‘companion’ web site which lends itself more to ‘drive-by posting’ on a given day and then move on.
What you can do is to use the ‘site wide activity’ thing under ‘your community’ to see new posts. (of course you have to mentally filter out all the spam)
I also have a word of advise for you. I have completed this program two years ago already, and while it had helped me to stay sober for 30 days, I was really tired, exhausted and quite resentful at the end. Which is a shame, because the program itself is really good I believe and can help you tremendously.
To avoid the resentment, exhaustion and stress, I do two things differently this time (and it works really well)-
a) I don’t stress completing one solution a day. I take my time and really try out the techniques, learn them, research, and journal. Once I have it down I move on.
b) I have to remind myself to forgive Dave Andrews for dropping the ball, and practice forgiveness. He doesn’t owe me anything and I appreciate that he has written the book. Although it is impossible for me to understand his actions (or lack thereof) I know he has his reasons, which we all have for what we do, and it is in the best interest for me to take the program as it is. And it’s good. And I like Jack Canfield a lot, and his guided recordings which you see scattered around the program.
August 31, 2020 at 1:31 pm #124100Participant
Day 7/8 are critical. The irritation and frustration can be overwhelming. While the website and forums are not what I’d hope them to be…I can’t imagine the alternative. Not having this program. Not having this website. This book has been the most life changing self help material I have ever read/participated in. I’ve been to AA. I’ve tried to be satisfied without alcohol on my own. I’ve muscles through with willpower only. The beautiful thing is this program (book and the companion website),even with its imperfections, is all that is needed to find a satisfying life thriving in sobriety. I can’t imagine the amount of response the authors have received from their creation and the amount of self control it has taken to continue to allow access to the online content. For free. The easier thing would be to take it down. But for years now they keep it up. How do they pay their bills? This thing is bigger than them. It’s seems like a team of volunteers need to be behind them. Supporting them. Supporting this program. Keeping it alive. Similar to AA but different. Anyhow. The program does work. Even with the imperfections. Just like “us”.
August 31, 2020 at 4:24 pm #124101
Hi and thanks for posting!
I’m hanging in there, currently on day 14 and having ups and downs. I think I need to revisit my goals and vision statement to re-focus on what I really want: being sober and free from urges, feeling peace and rest inside myself.
To your point regarding the web site- I don’t think keeping it ‘alive’ is a big cost factor. Just hosting a web page with forum doesn’t cost you much. To manage it, clean up spam and responding to questions is a different story though and you’re right it might take a team of paid or unpaid staff. But also keep in mind that sales from the book are generating revenue which could be used to address at least the most pressing issues on the web site like missing contents, dead links and spam filters.
Alternatively the author could just be honest about it and say ‘for this and that reason I don’t have the resources to manage this site and you can use it as it is’. Instead of saying ‘beta launch’ and ‘TBD’ and ‘Coming Soon’ etc. A little honesty can go a long way.
September 1, 2020 at 10:46 am #124107Participant
You all make valid points. I really appreciate your thoughts and expressions. It is very nice to know we’re not alone! Community is important. These days it feels somewhat like a luxury. This is not my first time through the program so I think I’ve had ample time to digest its “inadequacies”. Thanks for all your thoughts and I look forward to future posts.
August 31, 2020 at 9:34 pm #124104
I’m glad you’re finding the inspiration you need in this fabulous program. Keep posting.
Jack Canfield partners with promising authors (in this case Dave Andrews) and co authors books with them. Jack is the author of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series which has been wildly successful. His other best selling book is “The Success Principles” which was the blueprint for the 30 Day Sobriety Solution. He continues to lead workshops all over the world (via “Zoom” these days!) and is a fabulously wealthy entrepreneur.
Dave Andrews is the man behind this Companion Website and the mystery of why it fails to be operational falls to him.
I’m glad you’re benefitting from the program. Just the book itself is a godsend!
This Companion Website could offer a Community. Community is so important. I can testify that you are most definitely not alone!
August 31, 2020 at 9:46 pm #124105Participant
To those who think you’re alone out there, you’re not. There are others of us on Day 8 too, just trying to keep on keeping on. I’m only on Day 4 of no alcohol, but truly shocked I haven’t struggled more. This might be the first time since I stopped breastfeeding my daughter 7 years ago, that I’ve gone more than a day without a drink of something (and even that “one day” probably only happened a handful of times). I’m not angry about the site, and don’t even need to forgive. This was successful endeavor for them, and I’m sure they’ve moved on. I think we’re lucky it’s still up at all. I’ll navigate around a few broken links, because the meat is all there. And the book is where the magic happens!
September 1, 2020 at 5:20 pm #124108
I’m so happy to hear your success Tango_mg! I agree with you about this book. I keep coming back to it.
My regret is that without a charismatic leader at the helm of the Program, the book reaches a far smaller audience who could benefit immensely from it.
Other programs like The Alcohol Experiment benefit tens of thousands because Annie Grace, author of “This Naked Mind ” and the follow up book, “The Alcohol Experiment” is active in promotion. In my experience/opinion “The 30 Day Sobriety Solution ” has even more to offer to those seeking to change learn and grow!
Thanks for posting and inspiring others, myself included!
September 1, 2020 at 6:06 pm #124109
great to see a small community forming here; it gives me hope.
It is my second time through this program, and I know others like Annie Grace’s Naked Mind, Allen Carr’s classic, and my newest addition ‘Alcohol Explained’ by William Porter.
But it is true, this program is so much more comprehensive. I can only imagine how much research and work went into it. And I agree, Jack Canfield seems to be an amazing coach. I truly enjoy his guided recording for ‘releasing limiting beliefs’. I’ll post my reference list of guided recordings and other things below again.
I’m on day 14 right now, and tried tapping. I really like the video by Nick Ortner. I’m not sure however tapping does anything for me but I’ll keep trying. At this point, the ‘before’ and ‘new’ me are still the most motivating things, in combination with my goals.
Hope to see you around here. I’ll be here for a while!
September 2, 2020 at 9:31 am #124114Participant
If you are looking for more sobriety community, there are a number of private Facebook pages you can join. Although, again, usually leaderless. Like this book says in Chapter 1, they can mentor or coach you, but we have to do this on our own…
Someone else mentioned Annie Grace’s Naked Mind. She also has a Facebook page and does quite a bit of YouTube videos.
Hope this helps!
September 2, 2020 at 12:57 pm #124115
Thanks for your thoughtful suggestions.
Historically some on this Companion Website do not want to venture onto the less anonymous Facebook platform with the Challenges we are addressing here (I’m not among them in the sense that I belong/ administer a few Facebook Groups)
Annie Grace is a wonderful resource!
Please keep posting here, it’s beneficial to us all! Thank you!
September 2, 2020 at 1:43 pm #124116Participant
I totally understand. These are my first few days on this site, so I don’t know the level of anonymity enjoyed here. I started my sober journey 4 years ago and felt awkward as hell meeting others in the programs (then called Hip Sobriety School, now called Temptest with Holly Whitaker). We weren’t anonymous with each other and I’ve made some friends across the world, even met some of them at She Recovers events. I guess over the years I’ve just come to realize how amazing, cool, funny, and smart us addicts actually are, so it’s not as scary being “outed”…in fact, I know a few women who wrote books about it!
Whatever your comfort level is, I understand. BTW, you can always create a new Facebook account not using your real name, if you’d like to give it a try! I’ve found so much support online. I feel lucky.
It has been nice to “meet” you! Hope to see you in another chat!
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