Definitely need something to do besides work and friends that don't drink

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by

 
Participant
2 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #15912

    Participant

    Hey everybody,

    I first started the program in March of 2016. I am now going back through a second time. Since then my whole life has changed. I opened a company and I am definitely living my purpose… but I am working way too much. I went from drinking daily back in Feb of 2016, to drinking occasionally and mostly appropriately but right now, I can see that what I need is something to do besides work that does not involve alcohol or people that drink a lot of alcohol. In the past month, I left a long time relationship and moved and I am on my own and this has made it even harder to turn off the work. And my old way to stop working was to drink. So, I am trying to watch TV, read and listen to relaxation audios in the evenings. I really have way too much going on already… I think that is my main challenge… so I definitely don’t need to add a hobby or something. I feel like I just need to slow down completely and do nothing some days or evenings. I am going to take it extremely easy tomorrow. I have two BIG things kicking off on Monday. The relaxation audios are probably my best bet as a way to turn my mind off (without alcohol).

    Since I moved, I was surprised to find that my neighbor across the hall is someone I know. I am all alone and she has been very nice but she drinks daily. So I have got to be careful around her. Today, I did have some wine at her house and she kept pouring more. I know to be on the look out for things like that happening and I know how to put my hand over my glass and say no. But I didn’t today. My goal is to spend time with people who don’t drink very much. But I am going through a lonely time just three weeks after ending a relationship and moving. I actually spent Christmas and New Years alone (and sober) this year. But with her being just across the hall..it has been a challenge. Part of why I left the relationship was because he was drinking daily. What I need right now is friendship and connection but wish it was not a person who drinks so much and she has nothing to do. She does not work and she invites me over frequently. The other times, I had wine I was able to just have one or two. Today, I think I fell into the old trap of trying to shut off my work and my mind.

    I was able to not drink when my former boyfriend that I lived with was drinking and so, I think my best bet is to not get too involved with her at all ( just tell her I am working. I work from home) and to just have ginger ale or tea if I do see her. Better to be lonely than to be drinking. And I can focus on making plans with friends and connecting with people that don’t drink much. I would love to connect with some people here who are doing well.

    I always come here when I need to pour my heart out. I need to come more often with positive stories of success because I do have a lot of those…like abstaining on New Year’s Eve… I have completely changed my life this past year and it all started with this program!! Right now, I think my most immediate need is to rest and slow down.

    Successgirl

  • #15913

    Participant

    Now, I am replying to my own post. Really this is my way of journaling and maybe I do need to do that on my own.. in a private journal. All of the friends I have are work related and so they are positive influences but when we connect we talk about work and mostly, they are seeking my advice or I have friends that depend on me way too much and I have stepped way back from them. I need a true friend– who is not drinking and not work related and is a reciprocal friend not someone depending on me. I am going to focus on identifying the best people in my life to spend time with. It has been a big change ending the relationship.. we did everything together.

    I am going to figure this out.

  • #15934

    Participant

    Here it is. It is back to abstinence for me for an extended time. I have been successful in the past at being able to drink appropriately, occasionally in social situations for many years. But right now with so much going on, abstinence is the best and easiest course of action.

  • #15941

    Participant

    You have such great insights. It sounds like you have a lot of “new” on your plate right now, and I find your decision to fall back into abstinence rather than drinking encouraging. What a great example! Thank you for sharing 🙂

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