Discouraged at lack of change

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by

2 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #11219


    So, yesterday I hurt myself physically, excruciating pain! I’m almost done the 30 and yet my instant reaction to the pain was where’s the wine! I’m working the program thoroughly. Obviously I haven’t effectively changed my thinking. Then my significant other criticized me at that moment for always being in a hurry. The anger rose up in me and I didn’t even think about the process we’re suppose to do as to recognizing an emotion, feeling it and letting it go. How do you do that in the moment? Feeling discouraged that all the things I’ve learned didn’t come into play. Not sure anyone really changes. Sorry to be a downer!

  • #11225


    hi tango, thinking that it took years for us to get to this point in our drinking, thinking, being sensitive, resentful, defensive and angry. If someone could change their behavior and personality in 30 days, well someone would be a billionaire. you almost have 30, that is fantastic. cut yourself some slack and move forward 🙂 hugs, Victoire

  • #11227


    Yeah, tango, in keeping with what victoire said, on a cellular level it takes time to alter our built up and built in remembered reactions. In the fight-freeze-or flee reaction it just does not shift as fast as we would like it to. But by recognizing it, looking at it, turning it over and around in your mind . . . well, then, there in lies the hope it seems to me.

    Of course that is easy for me to say at a safe distance from your automatic reaction and subsequent disappointment. Just know that building something new from within (not unlike a Cathedral or Great Wall of China) from the ground up, takes consistent effort, dedication, determination, and trust. Wish there were a magic wand we all could grab in such yucky times, but, heck, Wallmart is fresh out.

    Take good care and keep breathing and believing . . .

    Best to you!

  • #11898


    What sometimes works for me is just to take a deep breath before reacting,responding and getting on that runaway thought train. Sometimes just taking that breath is enough to slow down and regroup. Notice I said sometimes. We are all a work in progress. Best of luck!

  • #16864


    I totally relate. There have been times when I am in such a negative irritable place and I do not, for reasons I’m unsure of, apply the solutions or I do and they don’t have the positive effect. It’s really a struggle sometimes. The thing I do know…..they pass…the moments are tough, but they pass.

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