Early On Setback

This topic contains 11 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by

9 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #120698


    I completed Day 2 and rewarded myself with my drink of choice, Bonterra organic Cabernet Savignon. Not a good day yesterday, 8/28, as my night was not one glass, but a bottle and a half. How can this have possibly happened? Anyone else screw up this early? I remember hearing in the back of my head that the 30 day solution asks you to quit for a specific period — at least 30 days and pick a day within your first week to quit. Well I thought that was Saturday night with Day 1 on Sunday and Day 2 on Monday. I was very antsy the evening of Monday so went out to the grocery store at 6:05pm. Anyway, I read Day 3 today (even though I should have been on Day 4); and the Pendulum Solution really struck me! Yes, I screwed up but, I’m grateful it happened early. I desire a new me too much and will continue with my program because if I love me, than I can offer so much more to my loved ones. Thank you Jack Canfield and Dave Andrews.

  • #120701


    Kh30days38, you’re admitting you had a setback, but are showing back up with purpose–that should be celebrated! You could have easily put the book down and retreated into old habits, but here you are. Keep pressing on!

    I’ve stocked my kitchen with a ridiculous amount of non-alcoholic beverages and the makings for “mocktails,” which I even drink in fancy wine or cocktail glasses so they feel like a treat. I also plan something to do for my usual Witching Hour, which creeps up most evenings from 5pm-8pm, so that I’m not tempted to slip back into bad habits. I have three little kids, who keep me busy, and have started exercising again.

    I’ve been off the sauce for a few days, but started the program yesterday. One day at a time….

  • #120702


    Lushnolonger58, thank you for your reply! Yes, the 5p-8p hours are the worst. So, last evening I went out to buy some yarn to crochet and a not too sweet treat for after dinner (almond milk dark chocolate peanut butter cup!) and got home by 6p to feed the doggies, myself, and look up a pattern to crochet. Before I knew it, it was 7:30p! Yep feel so great today. Thanks for your support. We WILL do this, hey?!!

  • #120705


    Hi Kh30days38 … Wow! I love this! You passed the time. I feel the same way. There is a span of time, where if I can make my way through it without succumbing, then I’m all set.
    In a nutshell, here are the steps to the “Surf the Urge Meditation”:
    1. Focus on the area where you experience the craving.
    2. Acknowledge how you experience the craving.
    3. Repeat focusing with each part of your body that experiences the craving.
    4. Release the tension as you release each deep breath.
    So far, when I do step one, the craving goes. I usually feel it in my brain, when I ask myself where it is. And then it’s gone.
    I think it’s a method to detach from the craving.

  • #120706


    I too, had a setback the evening of my second day. Four glasses of wine. I started gardening to avoid the impulse to go to the store for more. I am back in the saddle this morning. September is going to be my month. I will not beat myself up. I can do this.

  • #120708


    Hi @JoyCo1 … Yes, September will be your month! My best to you! I know how you feel. It’s a formidable issue. But we are formidable, too.

  • #120731


    I feel this so much! All the times I’ve told myself that it’s no big deal to go a week without alcohol only to reflexively pull into the QT parking lot on my way home from work to buy a forty oz. of the cheapest beer in the cooler after less than 48 hours. Because I’m not off work until I turn any random weekday into a party by drinking. Because regular life is just so dull. Because a good-time-girl isn’t having a good time unless she’s holding a bottle, can, or mug of fizzy inebriant. Because a breakfast beer is the best way to say “It’s Saturday, b*tches!”.

    The upside to having repeated this behavior a bo-zillion times is that I recognize that girl, I know her thoughts and her patterns. I know it’s only the first week or so that’s uncomfortable and unfamiliar, unbalanced and un-fun. Just hanging in there for a bit can chase away the fog and it’s perfectly fine to be a little out-of-sorts. God knows, I’ve been just fine with feeling like sh*t every morning for years on end, it can’t be that hard to just string the hours together until they make up enough days that I can remember I’m also a girl with plenty of patterns that don’t involve alcohol.

    I love rituals for everything. I do so love the sound of an aluminum pop-top, but I also love cooking, reading, walking my dogs, hanging out on the back porch with my kids, and deep conditioning my hair with a mud mask on my face. How did drinking become the primary ritual I use to celebrate instead of all the other things I enjoy? Partially because that’s how alcohol works as a chemical substance; it always begs for just one more and there’s no end to the 1+1+1+1 (I think it’s F. Scott Fitzgerald who wrote “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you”). But it’s also because I want rituals that are “me”, behaviors I can default to without much thought, something that make me feel more feels without really feeling. The combination of a substance that diminishes the ability to enjoy anything without it’s influence and my desire for a celebratory default behavior is just plain ol’ poisonous and I’ve been brewing up that noxious mental tincture for a loooong time.

    You are awesome for your insight into yourself and for applying that insight to the growth of new habits instead of self-recrimination and excuses to remain stuck in a past version of yourself. Every time we falter we create an opportunity to learn new ways to support our fresh endeavors toward a better self.
    Day 2 has me thinking that the best things about this program are the call to greater awareness and the daily reevaluation of mindless habits. Thanks for sharing your experiences, it’s lovely to know that I’m not alone in the trench!

  • #120732


    Hi @Rosiegirl7262 … Thank you for this post. Wow, we all do share these similar feelings. I think posting helps us to pool our strength. I’ve had so many (practically all)sober days this year, thanks to this program. Chatting has really helped me. It was good to read F. Scott Fitzgerald’s saying, because that’s exactly what it is. Believe me, the new way of living becomes more and more do-able. As we add in more new activities, there goes any boredom. It may take a little time to build a new way of life, but so worth it.
    Have a wonderful day!!

  • #120792


    I had a week without drinking but drank a lot last night. I hid it from my husband, but I have a feeling that he knows. I feel awful. Guilty and depressed.

  • #120793


    Kudos for your courage to not give up. I’ve read several articles about the body’s detox process and the physical symptoms associated with abstaining from regular use of alcohol so Id know what to expect. The liver is working to rid our bodies first and foremost of the alcohol. This effects sleep and energy levels as the toxins are processed through the organs and out through urination. Also, our brains and neurotransmitters (as well as our bodies) are working to rebalance as the alcohol leaves our systems. Anxiety, depression, irritability and such are common during this rebalancing period. Alcohol is an addictive substance that our bodies have become adjusted to so when we abstain there is a physical reaction. The detox process for alcohol to completely leave the body is about five days. For me, the worst symptoms hit at day three, eased up day four.

    So my point is don’t beat yourself up or feel defeated. You aren’t weak. Your craving is merely a physical reaction to abstaining from alcohol. Ever binge on death by chocolate desserts for a few days in a row then stop? Body craved sugar for the next three to four days, right? Same thing. Hang in there and drink water to help the flushing process.

  • #120796


    I know it’s a difficult time for you and I completely sympathize with the shame and guilt you may be feeling. But know it’s ok to make those slips, and that it’s ok to have those feelings. The road to sobriety is a work in progress, and as long as you’re making the positive steps and have the desire to escape from that prison you WILL succeed. I’ve been through the physical, emotional, and spiritual hell that alcohol brings…many of us have. But there are no trees in heaven without roots that go down to hell. The gift of sobriety is truly the greatest gift I never imagined, upon which the foundation of a life I never thought possible is built upon.

    Hang in there, you got this. Accept and surrender to who you are in the moment…a person who is fighting the good fight to thrive in sobriety. You don’t need to focus on the staircase, only the step in front of you

  • #120797


    Dear booda … I’m so glad Plena16 & devo.tompkins wrote such excellent posts to you. They are so true! I think this is how it goes for awhile until you break away a bit further from the dependence on alc.
    Maybe some people can do it immediately, but I think for some (or most) it takes a few tries.
    I just completed my 4th 30-day commitment of this year. Each commitment went more than 30-days.
    I tried a couple of drinks the other night, and my stomach felt sick from it.
    I have never been this clean from alcohol (except for the 1-year commitment I made in the year 2000).
    I’d say keep going, and step by step you will pull further and further away from alc.

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