This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by
April 27, 2017 at 10:04 am #17503Participant
@SQ, sina, rico – thank you for your insights! Sina – I had not noticed the “peter pan” connection until you pointed it out. It is quite funny bc I consciously moved out of San Francisco a few years ago bc I wanted to avoid what I witnessed there for many middle aged guys, which i called the peter-pan syndrome. It is an easy city to just pretend like you never have to grow up. Well, I have to agree that I resonate with the link b/w substances and my own extended adolescence. It is feeling really good to do some growing up these past few weeks.
Rico – I agree with calling out those behaviors. It is really strange to see that in a short period of time that I have shifted to a positive state of mind, and now it is almost like nails on a chalkboard when I hear someone venting/complaining about things like traffic whilst they have a drink. I’m thinking “hey man, why don’t you focus on that delicious steak you’re eating right now and notice all of the good things that can happen for you in traffic!”
Anyway, I wanted to share on the post some fun action words that I brainstormed during the day 18 solutions:
Ex: “I am roaring with pride and strength in truth”, “I am dancing with joy and success in meaningful work”.
It got to be fun to create some of these action words and it does subconsciously create an active mood.
I appreciate the insights on the defensive automatic thoughts. It is like talking about them here helps to exorcise those thoughts (as uncomfortable as it gets to lay things so bare). The other thought pattern I have now noticed is another negative thought pattern that goes like “don’t do that, you will be made fun of and you will look stupid/weird”. For example – I had an impulse to go for a walk in the sun after the dentist this morning, and then had the thought “don’t do that, you will look stupid bc you are not in a part of the city where people simply stroll for pleasure. You must be jogging or driving in your car or you will be noticed to be weird, and hey aren’t you already too weird as it is….”
I really wasn’t aware of how prevalent those thoughts still were, and it reminds me of high school all over again with the constant current of “just fit in, just fit in, just do what everyone else is doing and just fit in”.
Thanks always for reading my posts and I am wishing everyone a positive day for thriving in sobriety!
– peter panda
April 27, 2017 at 12:34 pm #17505Participant
Hi pp23 !
Isn’t that something! I thought that the Peterpan moniker was purposefully chosen by you! I thought the da23 were initials of some sort. Maybe the subconscious mind is even more mysterious than we previously thought….
Here’s some more fuel for thought, literally. In a group that I’m in where we support the 30DSS, many of us have noticed that after alcohol is out of the picture, the underlying issues rear up …such as Depression. In a book I highly recommend by Dr Daniel Amen, called “Change Your Brain Change Your Life “, he describes just how powerful our thoughts are. Many thoughts, like the ones you described, are automatic. He calls these Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) A few things…
1.Thoughts are Powerful and cause positive or negative effects in your brain and every cell in the body.
2.Your ANTs don’t always tell you the truth…You don’t have to believe every thought that goes through your head !
3. You can train your thoughts to be positive and hopeful.
Dr. Amen goes on to summarize 9 different types of ANTs (AND how to kill them!)
Not so ironically they are for all intents and purposes identical to the Negative Thinking Traps on pgs.269-272 of the 30DSS!
Great minds, etc.
Thanks for your thought provoking posts Pp23! Onward, Sina
April 27, 2017 at 8:06 pm #17511Participant
Peter Pan…your post is so interesting and reflects your great efforts & dedication! Your “roaring” and more action words have total s-o-u-l! Keep on striving & positive day back @ ya!
@sina, the “underlying issues” you shared from the group, wow…that is truly fascinating! Thank you for sharing and the insight for us all; I will be checking out that book you mentioned…love author name “Dr. Amen”!!! Your comment makes we wonder about the whole “alcohol to relieve anxiety” fallacy so many youngsters get sucked into that later leads to their horrid addiction.
April 28, 2017 at 12:25 am #17514Participant
peterpanda23 . . . Totally loved when you said: ” It is like talking about them here helps to exorcise those thoughts (as uncomfortable as it gets to lay things so bare).” And: “reminds me of high school” with the desire or need to fit in. Those darn negative thoughts can be a drag.
Thanks for the candid post. It sure helps.
And that book Sina mentioned sure does sound powerful, want to check it out.
May 1, 2018 at 5:02 am #20828Participant
Thank you for this post and these great action words!
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.