Getting Started & Community Guidelines (Important)

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1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #5505


    GETTING STARTED

    If you haven’t already done so, go ahead and set up your profile. Upload a profile picture (it can be anything you want, as long as it doesn’t offend others). Interact on the message boards and add those that you connect with as a “friend”, and explore all the different resources and tools at your disposal.

    As you begin to work through the solutions and assimilate them into your life, you will naturally become happier and more in line with who you really want to be in this world. You will find yourself attracting new people and opportunities, and with this growth you will discover the community is your perfect companion. Whether you need a specific resource, a show of support, someone believing in you, or just an inspiring example to follow, these, and so much more, can be found in the community.

    If you have a question about the material, a technical issue, feedback or comments on the program, just click the Contact Us –> Support Portal (or go to http://30Day.Support) or use the feedback button in the bottom right corner of every page (please do not use this is you have a support ticket you need a response on, use the Contact Us – Support), and we will do our best to promptly help you.


    COMMUNITY GUIDELINES

    1. FIRST, START READING: The format of the program is proven. It was designed based off feedback from people just like you, going back almost eight years, and it works. So if you haven’t yet, start reading the book. By the end of Day 1 you will know exactly when and how to use this site alongside the book. In fact, if you are just getting started, we encourage you to go read through Day 1 right now. And yes, we do mean right now, these guidelines will be waiting for you when you return.

    2. READ THESE GUIDELINES FOR POSTING: Please comment on posts directly (versus posting a separate post on it). This helps a lot when someone wants to read-up on a specific topic of discussion. PLEASE NOTE: Any rude, inappropriate or degrading comments will likely be removed by our moderators for any reason without notice.

    3. CONFIRM YOUR USERNAME: Using this thread as an example next to every post is a photo (the default one if it hasn’t be changed by you) with a username displayed directly below. This is the ONLY connection that can be publicly seen connected to your account. This is also the only thing that cannot be changed. If this contains your real name, or any identifying characteristics, than you will want to delete your account and create a new one. That way you can post freely with no concern. Just remember this is a free website, so anyone can register, so you don’t want to post things like where you work, the city you live in (usually) or things like that on the forum. And by using an anonymous username you protect your anonymity as well. If you need to delete your account, or have more questions, refer to Support Article.

    4. BE ENCOURAGING: Everyone here wants to improve their life and learn how to thrive without addiction. This can be an emotionally challenging time for many people so please keep in mind that many people are sensitive during this transition in their lives. This community is at it’s strongest when we can encourage each other and build each other up. Everyone here is on the road to improving our lives and overcoming our obstacles. We do that best by encouraging one another, sharing our stories of personal transformation, championing good values and life practices. It can mean the world to others if you take time to congratulate other members who are having success. Also, by sharing your own success, you INSPIRE others. So, participate and engage with us. We want to hear from you.

    5. THE ADVICE AND SUGGESTIONS ARE TO BE FOLLOWED AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION: Make sure to use your best judgement when following advice of others in the membership community. At the 30 day Sobriety Solution, we use methods that have worked for countless others but please keep in mind that any advice or suggestions given by any of the 30 Day coaches, therapists, moderators or members on the site are personal opinions. Even if a person is a therapist or trained professional, they don’t know you or your personal history and are not liable for any adverse results to your actions. No advice should replace any recommendations from your personal doctor or your therapist. And again, please do consult with your doctor before starting this program. IMPORTANT: Although there may be trained therapists, coaches and addiction professional in this community, none of them are certified by us, and in fact it is likely we do not even know them or their credentials. All 30-Day staff will be clearly identified, otherwise assume there is no affiliation.

    6. DON’T SELF-PROMOTE: Most of the members will interact anonymously, and that is great, but we also love those that are open about their recovery. However, this isn’t a forum for selling anything or raising money for issues, politics, or causes. Any links to fundraising campaigns or sales pages will be deleted. This is a page to intelligently discuss The 30 Day Sobriety Solution, and other practices that can improve our lives.

    7. THERAPISTS, COACHES, ADDICTION EXPERTS: If you are one of these, that is fantastic. And we’re sure you will be an amazing addition to this community. You can feel free to interact, give feedback, and be a positive and supportive member of the community, but there is zero tolerance for soliciting any clients via any method on this site. If you are solicited we ask that you immediately let us know.

    8. STICK WITH IT: Treat this is as a marathon, not a race. This material will take time to master, particularly as you also assimilate these principles into your own daily life. Read The 30 Day Sobriety Solution, listen to the audio recordings, watch the videos, practice the action steps, participate in the various forums, listen to feedback, and soon you’ll find yourself on a roll.

    9. WE’RE HERE TO HELP: There are several moderators in the group that will help lead, guide, encourage and support you. These individuals will be identified as such. So, feel free to ask questions. Our team will monitor the support desk and can answer questions during our regular business hours.

    Often answers to technical and customer services questions can be found in the FAQ section of the site. Please read through the FAQs and search the forum before submitting your questions.

    Also, if you know an answer to a question, don’t hesitate to contribute your wisdom on the forum. Thank you for helping create a safe, supportive, motivational community where we can all learn how to best thrive in sobriety!

    Jack, Dave & The 30-Day Team

  • #6521

    Participant

    So I just started day one today. One question though, I don’t understand the equation. E + R = O ????

    • #8320

      Participant

      I know this response is practically a month and a half after you posted on your first day and I don’t see you had a response. Do you understand the E + R = O ? Now? This has proven very important to me and I didn’t fully understand it til the 2nd day. I wrote it at over my vision statement. Today is day 12 for me, last night, Friday night was not easy (just had to post that to someone). Let me know if you need any support. I was sober for 11 years in AA then socially drank for the past 2 1/2 years. I wanted a reboot as my life was stalling while I’m caught in the swirl of raising 2 boys and working out of my home. I know how it feels to be happy and sober AND unhappy and sober when I’m not fullfilling my passions or hobbies. Working out doesn’t fill the bill for me. Hope you are doing well.

      • #17145

        Participant

        Just wanted you to know I appreciated your post. I have sober on and off for the last 30 years. I am only on day 3, and have not given up the alcohol yet. I am severely depressed and have gained 25 lbs. I need to go to Dr. but so stressed about getting on the scale, that I am sitting here like a statue unable to make my self go! I hope you are recovered from your bad night! Congratulations on your successes!!

    • #9782

      Participant

      Hi, This is just my second day and the first day to stop drinking is tomorrow! However, I think I understand the equation and it works for me. “E” stands for an EVENT that happens in your life (probably something that upset you or disturbs you, or we wouldn’t be worried about it). “R” stands for your REACTION to that event. And “O” stands for the OUTCOME of your reaction to that event. For example, you could blame others, or situations as an excuse to drink, or you could react in a positive way to that event (speaking up for yourself, or not having it upset you). Bottom line, it’s not the events that happen to us, it’s how we react to them. The real message here is that you are responsible for the outcomes in your life, and that outcome depends upon your reaction to every event. Hope this helps.

      • #11666

        Participant

        Nicely said!!

        • #18348

          Participant

          I agree with all above. This is my 5th day not drinking, my 1st day in the 30 day solution. I found myself reviewing Crucial Conversations (book) which has a similar formula: Event -> my STORY -> my feelings/emotional ->my action -> outcome/results
          I learned that my story and my feelings occur in micro seconds, and that to change my actions and thus the outcome, I need to change my story in my head – which developed over my life time, so not easy. I am still working on that, and seeing a similar “formula” in this process has been of great help. Also, The Four Agreements (book) “its not personal” is one I am still working on. I appreciate the opportunity to interact with others on this journey, and look forward to the gleamed wisdom of my predecessors.

      • #18779

        Participant

        I apply E+R=O to my day. I share it with my staff, kids, grandkids! It makes sense for many situations. Our reaction to the event makes the outcome. So simple but yet so true.

  • #8378

    Participant

    Cannot find bonus solution for Day 21 frustrating already having a bad day.Will try relaxing but please inform me why we are encouraged to look at material that is not there?

    • #8384

      Hi @debbie4863, thank you for your question. Dave Andrews has posted about the missing content. You can find it on Day 14 Forum, and then click “Relapse Solution & Other Bonus Content”. I hope that helps to address your concerns.

  • #8500

    Participant

    HI, Just ordered my 30-day Solution and it will be here on Saturday. I am quitting drinking as of today, so getting a jump start on this before my book gets here! I read the sample book online after I ordered it and have been reading the website. I hope this book helps. I am a little nervous going cold turkey, but know people that have and nothing physically/mentally happened to them. Seizures scare me and is there a way to make sure they don’t happen until I can see a doctor?
    Thank you,
    Laurie

    • #8544

      Hi Laurie,

      Since we aren’t doctors, and don’t know you personally (nor your drinking habits), we recommend seeing your doctor before you stop drinking. The program asks that you quit drinking within the first week of the program, so you can still follow the program without quitting just yet. But I have to say, I love your enthusiasm of getting a jump start!

      Some members on this forum have shared similar concerns as you in regards to going cold turkey. Again, first and foremost we recommend you see your doctor. If you can’t get an appointment just yet, but still want to start the program, you have a few options. You could taper off your drinking, by cutting out one drink every couple of days, so your body can slowly adjust. Another suggestion is to go through the whole program, day-by-day, without quitting yet. Then, once you get the okay from your doctor, go through the program a second time, sober. If you do this, just make sure you read and do the action steps while you are sober.

      Best of luck!

      • #8562

        Participant

        Thanks for that response. I also have ordered the book which will arrive towards the end of the month and I am reading the book online through the Kindle Cloud Reader. I am looking forward to this journey as my doctor and I agree I should regain control of my sobriety as I am being treated for ABC Acute Billary Cirrhosis of the liver and should be giving it the chance to heal. We don’t know if alcohol is the cause but quitting or reducing intake can’t hurt. I will start the abstinence now however and see how it goes. Thanks for being there.

  • #8563

    Participant

    Welcome head salmon, and I wish you success in dealing with your liver disease. How did they discover this ? Ultrasound ? I am scheduled for an ultrasound of my liver next week, and am a bit worried about what they might find. Damage from my many years of drinking. I have not had a drink of anything alcohol since Feb 20. Am on Day 5 of the book ( am doing the 90 day version)

  • #8582

    Participant

    Hi,

    I just purchased the book on-line after seeing it at a local bookstore. I first downloaded a sample and after reading it decided I want to do the programme. So I am literally very new to this. I have decided to pick Tuesday as the day I will stop drinking, the start of Day1 says I can pick a time in the first week.

    The reason I chose Tuesday is that Monday is a public holiday so Tuesday I am back at work.

    I have been thinking of doing something like this for months and it was almost like I was attracted to the book as I was looking in a section of my local bookstore that I don’t ordinarily peruse, so I reckon something made me go down that aisle.

    I must confess I am nervous, maybe even a little terrified. But I will give it 100%.

    Wayne

    • #8650

      It’s quite incredible how things work out like that- must be some form of synchronicity. I would be shocked if you weren’t nervous (or maybe even terrified). Change is scary, even when it’s something positive. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and please know this community is here to support you!

      • #8659

        Participant

        Thank you very much

  • #8912

    Participant

    14 days sober! But I fell off the wagon and drank the last 2 days. I’m not sure what happen but I feel incredible guilty and ashamed. I’m not sure what to do.

    • #8931

      Hi @shirleyw! In this program, we view slip-ups, or failures, as valuable learning lessons and generally as necessary to move forward in life. If you compare learning to get sober to learning anything else in life, it becomes quite clear: you don’t expect yourself to pick up a new skill without failing, do you? Learning how to live a life without alcohol is a new skill (or maybe a very old one) for most people. There will be slip-ups along the way. We encourage each person to use their failures to gain a lesson. If you learn what you did wrong, then you can truly move forward next time. That is why we refer to failures as “failing forward.”

      The best thing you can do at this point is keep moving forward. Move to the next solution, keep learning, and move on to thrive-in-sobriety. Best of luck!

      • #11887

        Participant

        Thank you – I needed this reminder to encourage me to move forward, keep learning. I had a small slip up and was berating myself (again). Instead I will look forward to the next Solution!

    • #9192

      Participant

      Hi shirleyw,
      I hope you were able to let the guilt and the shame go. I feel you, I know what that self loathing can do. It will undermine everything good you’ve ever done if you let it.. Keep FIGHTING!!

  • #9191

    Participant

    New to this and I gotta say… I’m EXTREMELY anxious about quitting, it terrifies me. Not because I love it so much, but I have noticed within the last year I get seriously anxious about not having wine in the house. It’s ridiculous, I know.. but there it is.
    I am working through Day 2 today, and I’m finding the questions and additional material very helpful and insightful. In fact, some of my responses are quite surprising! I think I probably just finished the longest “New You” group of WHY’s in history of man!!!

    • #9242

      Hi @joyful_1z- I’d be shocked if you weren’t feeling anxious! Making a change is scary, even when we know it’s a positive change. Your wine has most likely been your safety net for quite some time and it takes a lot of courage to let go and put trust in something new. It sounds like you’re doing a great job so far at committing to the program and moving forward in your life. Best of luck!

  • #9321

    Participant

    I drank a bottle of wine last night, at the end of day 4 and alcohol-free since starting on day 1.
    I’ve been finding the program inspiring and uplifting for the most part, but I’ve also been struggling with my mood, feeling a deep sense of loss over quitting drinking, even though I can acknowledge all the positive benefits at the same time. I’ve forgiven myself for slipping back, but feel like a bit of a failure as well. I guess it’s okay to just carry on the program from where I am now?
    Matt

    • #9329

      Participant

      Hey Matt,

      Just carry on… forgiving yourself is fantastic, lets be honest, you cannot change the past… stick with it and you will get results.. just give it a bash , you can’t lose

      Wayne

    • #9337

      Hi Matt,

      Wayne is absolutely right. Keep moving forward, keep learning new skills and tools to help you stay on track. I recommend you take a moment to journal about your slip last night in order to better understand why you chose to drink and what you can do differently next time the craving hits. When we learn from our mistakes, we have a better chance of not repeating them. Go give it your all- you got this!

      Chelsie

      • #9340

        Participant

        What a lovely response. You all are so kind.

        Have a beautiful day

    • #9654

      Participant

      Hi,
      I just want to say how much I admire the effort and willingness it takes for all participants to stay with it, and honestly talk about what feels like failures. Part of the process is self love, compassion and understanding.
      I want to say that you’re doing well, let any indulgences go. Love yourself unconditionally and keep going.
      Louise Hay has this wonderful phrase (I feel like she coined it) “Bless the past and let it go”. Just do that and move bravely ahead.
      Here’s another thought I often say to myself, “the past is gone now, and I an here”. Here being the NOW, cause there is nothing but the present moment. That’s where healing happens. I believe in you all.
      Make your Sobriety diet SELF LOVE. You deserve it.

  • #9353

    Participant

    Thanks Wayne and Chelsie for your responses. I’m glad I posted about my slip last night as I actually feel more human now and more connected to the program again. Maybe it was something I needed to go through to remind myself that I’m not perfect – and I don’t need to be! I’ve already noticed benefits from the first 4 days.
    What happened last night was that I began to feel quite depressed, fed up with the program and quite overwhelmed by what feels like a monumental effort. I used the same excuse that I’ve used many timethat I’d been good so far so I deserved to treat myself and make myself feel better.
    I think the lesson here for me is to look back at my action plan for cravings and try to find some more fun and enjoyable things to do in the evenings. It feels like suddenly there is so much free time on my hands, I haven’t really got round to figuring out what I’m going to do with it yet.
    Matt

    • #9355

      Participant

      Matt brings up one the issues that I think is the hardest to overcome and what I am struggling with at this time. I am fine all day long and somewhere around 5 p. m. my mind completely changes. I am trying to do new things but it is just really hard. It is like a little switch gets flipped and I have no control. I guess that is the whole point of hanging in there for 30 days to make the habit change. Changing old, old habits is just really hard.

      • #9359

        Participant

        I can also relate to that maralynn. It’s as if there are two versions of me – one which is really enthusiastic about the program, mindful of the benefits, and enjoying the process, but another part of me doesn’t feel anywhere near ready or prepared to cope with this change and everything that it represents – the remorse, the fears, the self-doubt, the loneliness and the depression. From what I’ve read from other people, I’m hopeful that these two parts of myself will become more united as the 30 days progress and we gain more practice and conviction in the overall process. But at the beginning, it does seem very hard.
        Matt

      • #9384

        Participant

        Hi Maralynn & Mattk,

        I also struggle when 5pm ticks by, but now it is more of a little twinge. That is when I generally do the next chapter in the book. I have been quiet online for the last couple of days due to work being so hectic.

        Keep going!!

        Cheers Wayne

        • #9424

          Participant

          Hi Wayne,
          Thanks for your support. I’m slowly getting more used to the idea of having my evenings freed up now to focus on constructive things that are good for me to replace the old regime. It’s helping me a lot knowing that other people are going through the same things as well.
          Matt

      • #16502

        Participant

        Oh my, we are experiencing the same thing! The 5:00 p.m. mark. You are not alone! Move forward and know there are many of us. I am struggling with much shame for what I’ve put my family through. I know I cannot “undo” but I can change and have them see the change is real. Praying for God to reclaim this wonderer!

    • #15168

      Participant

      I’ve JUST started the book and only read a couple of your threads and ALREADY I am relieved to see that I can relate to some of you. PLEASE let this work for me!

  • #9389

    @mattk and @maralynn, I hear your struggles around the 5o’clock hour and your difficulties over what to do with your extra free time. Over the course of this program, we address how to manage these struggles and give you the opportunity to rediscover what brings you joy in life. In an upcoming guided meditation, you’ll be able to merge those two different identities you are experiencing, Matt. Basically what I am getting at is that both of your experiences thus far is normal and expected. We will help guide you through this and you will come out stronger on the other side. Keep pushing through those difficult moments and utilize this forum (as you’ve both been doing!) to help you out.

    • #9423

      Participant

      Hi Chelsie,
      Thanks so much for your support. In actual fact, the next day, on day 6, it talked about this very thing in the book. It’s the problem-drinking part of me kicking up a fuss. It feels like he’s terrified of this change that’s happening and fighting for his survival. It’s reassuring to know that this is normal and that other people are experiencing the same.
      Regarding the extra time on my hands, I think it’s starting to sink in that it’s my responsibility to manage that and that it’s actually a good thing. There’s no shortage of constructive things I can be doing instead of drinking and watching tv. I’m realising that I can see this as an opportunity, even though it feels like an obstacle at the moment. The program is helping me to see how repetition can help here in creating new, healthy habits to replace the old ones, and that that will take some time.
      Matt

      • #9462

        Hi Matt,
        That’s great! I’m happy to hear you are doing better and taking responsibility to find things to keep you occupied. Thanks for the update!

  • #9519

    Participant

    Well… sobriety is like being on a diet. Let us say you lost 10 pounds and are doing great towards your goal of losing 40 pounds. But it is Thanksgiving and you ate everything in sight. Do you get all ashamed and guilty? No!!! The next day you go on your diet again. You might gain couple of pounds, but who cares- you had a slip-up and now are back on track. Same with drinking. Just go back on track and don’t look back!

  • #9558

    Participant

    I am just starting the 30 day solution. I am not sure whether I should do the 30 or 60 day plan. I think that the solutions will be useful for after work, when I typically drink. How do most people schedule reading the solution and doing the exercises around work and other commitments? I worry that I’ll fall behind.

    I took a “before” picture a little over a month ago, complete with red skin and puffy face. I’ve been on the fence about quitting alcohol for a long time now. I keep saying I’ll quit then end up drinking again and go right back to daily drinking to be numb. Yesterday was an inadvertent day 1. I didn’t have any alcohol left and liquor stores are closed on Sundays where I live. I was sad all day not being able to drink and I really wanted to drown my emotions. I did sleep better last night, so I suppose I should just keep going.

    • #9598

      Hi @runner_rebecca,

      If you’d like to keep going with your sobriety, it’s time to read the first chapter and do what it says- be 100% committed to your sobriety. 100%, not 99.9%, but all the way. That way there is no room for internal debate.

      Whichever time-frame you choose, it’s important to do some portion of the program on a daily basis. There are many options for how to structure your time. Some people wake up a half hour earlier and read the chapter to start their day off right. Then after work, around the hardest part of many peoples’ days to stay sober, they journal and do the action steps. Before bed, some people review the chapter, read what they wrote in their journal, and/or go on the forum. You could do all of the above in the morning if you prefer, or all after work when you’d typically be drinking. Some people choose to purchase the audio book along with the hardcopy so they can listen to the chapter in the car on their way to work, or on their way home. Decide what strategy is best for you; which one will support you the most in your journey?

      The bottom line is this: if you were a regular, daily drinker, then drinking took up a significant part of your time. When you’re not drinking, you will certainly have the time, on a daily basis, to do the program.

      Best of luck to you!

  • #9611

    Participant

    I started day 1 today. I’m a weekend drinker for the most part, and just need to break this habit! Tired of alcohol ruling my thoughts.

  • #9657

    Participant

    I am on day 2 of the program and day 3 of sobriety. It is a struggle. I decided to get past the 6pm hump by organising my day so that I read and think and read any extra bits in the morning, go about my day and then at around 5.30pm, when I am just reaching the habit moment, I sit down to read again, do the solutions and journal. I am finding (though it is early days) that doing the solutions with the thinking and writing involved hardens my resolve, and then I can get on with the evening without such a struggle. Hope that keeps helping me and that it becomes less of a struggle with time. AussieBattler

    • #9670

      That sounds like a very solid plan @aussiebattler. You’re allowing the material to sit in your subconscious mind all day, which helps you do the solutions and journal in the evening, when the habit to drink hits the hardest. Great strategy!

  • #9695

    Participant

    I see the book was dedicated to Bryan Jefferson Duke. Who is he? Seems like he died quite young- was he ill? Kind of sad to see.

  • #9708

    Participant

    Holy cow! I knew it would be difficult, but I guess my denial was pretty strong. I bought the book yesterday after having an early morning discussion with my wife about us stopping our drinking. Well, it was also after I went to see a doctor yesterday afternoon and she told me that if I didn’t stop drinking, she was gonna give me a colonoscopy. I immediately went to the bookstore to see what I could find, and, well…there are many options. Anyway, I found 30 day solution and recognized Jack’s name. If the chicken soup guy is involved, it’s got to have something to it. I read all the way through to day one and then got to the time travel part. I was jazzed by then, but after going through the TTT, I lost it. Especially when I saw myself in five years, sober, and giving a set of keys to my daughter for her birthday. One, that I got my act together to financially be able to, but most importantly, I was alive and healthy to do it. Today I was full of spit and vinegar knowing that I had this…I was inspired… I saw a light at the end.

    I didn’t make it 24 hours.

    • #9724

      Participant

      ground066, bless your heart

      I suspect that every single person on this forum, reading this book, trying to work this program, has stood in your shoes on many more than one occasion.

      I am on my third or fourth go around on working this program. I started in February. My first “slip” (actually “crash” is more appropriate) was after 17 days and ended in a black-out drunk, driving in black-out and a hang over in which I threw up every 15 minutes for 10 hours and considered calling 911 I was so scared. But not scared enough to not drink again within a about a week and have to start the program over again. And then start again. And now again.

      Each time I have crashed (screw slip, amateurs slip) I start at Day 1 and each time I start over I see something new, learn something new, see what I missed and what I was doing wrong.

      I believe with all my heart this time is different. I have broken it down to the simplest of goals and visions. I simply want to be happy for the next 30 days while keeping myself clean & sober & clear headed. I do not care if I salvage my 10 year relationship. I do not care if I am rewarded at my job. And I do not care if I lose my drinking friends. I do not care what anyone thinks or believes about me; other’s opinions are none of my business. My business is to have my head in this book 3x daily, eat fruit all day to keep my sugar levels up, write in my journal daily, sleep, smile in the mirror and repeat my mantra and review, review, review all along with doing new things daily to break my old habits at my “bewitching hours”.

      If I can hang in there, ground0 66, you can too. Don’t do it for anyone else but you. I believe that is how this works. Do the work as it tells you to do it. Do it over over and over and love yourself unconditionally.

      Love yourself. Your are awesome. You got this. The universe rewards action. Keep taking action.

      • #9729

        Participant

        maralynn – Thank you for your words of encouragement. I’ve had a lot of time to ruminate on it after my “crash” and i know it ain’t the end of the world. I know the only way to progress is to stand up, pick out the briers, lean in and head into the wind again. Godspeed on your own journey.

        • #15972

          Participant

          Thanks for sharing Marilynn. This is day 1 of round three for me. I started the program last march, I completed 17 days and decided I just wasn’t ready to deal with the emotions of a recent divorce sober so I went back to drinking. Of course that didn’t help and ended up more depressed. I successfully completed 30 days from September 15th to October 15th, but I’ve been back to pretty much daily drinking since. I learned soooo much last year with the program and believe third time will be the fix for me. I would listen to the audio book every morning even though I was drinking in the evenings. I knew I would quit again so I kept up reprogramming my mind and reminding myself of where I want to be. The audio book is helping me tremendously because I can listen while I do dishes, or do my hair and make up and have my hands free. One thing I learned that I think is critical for me is that I have resisted doing the “total truth” process. I have insight into my drinking that I never realized before. I use it to run from uncomfortable emotions. Now that I have begun the “total truth” process, I have come to realize I have been running from painful emotions all the way back to childhood. Emotional freedom tapping has helped me TREMENDOUSLY, just like the book says, it might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but IT WORKS…. I also have never used this forum to chat, I think I need support this time.

    • #15529

      Participant

      Started this program today. I have followed along and went above and beyond – read more than required, journaled more than required…. dumped any alcohol down then sink to eliminated the anxiety of knowing there was anything in the house that I could turn to. I read ground066’s “I didn’t make it 24 hours” and I LOST it. I don’t know what is making me cry harder – the fear that I will likely mess it up or that there are others out there that feel and experience the same thing I do. Thank you all for being so honest about your experiences. I really want to do this (this time) and I no longer believe I can do it alone.

      • #15532

        Participant

        Peacewarrior, if u click on my user name u will see all my posts. Perhaps if u see the progression of one who is now almost 10 months without alcohol it may help. Your thoughts control your actions. Learn tapping. Change your thoughts change your life. You can. God bless you:)

      • #15638
        bly

        Participant

        Hi Peacewarrior,
        I just received my book today. My heart is pounding, I feel afraid and anxious. Im trying to figure out why. I know only good will come from being sober. I guess my problem is, all the people in my life drink. What wil happen to those dear friends and relationships is my biggest concern. Will they want me in their life…will they be uncomfortable around me when they see I’m not drinking…will I be uncomfortable around them when they do..? Also…I have enjoyed drinking with them..it never got ugly..no real problems..the problem only has become within myself..I can’t stop when I start..and it sometimes ends in a blackout. And that is why I need to stop..

        I’ve been praying for help. I hope I can do this.
        Bly

        • #15641

          Participant

          Hi Bly – I was so anxious as well. I don’t want to fail – so far I am doing well (end of day 3 now). I know what you mean – I haven’t had any crazy, ugly – super “rock bottom” moments either but I don’t want or need it to get to that point before I realize that it is too much and I am not in complete control of my life.

          It will change relationships – that is for sure. But the alternative is that person we imagined seeing 5 or 10 years down the road if we don’t change.

          I think your true friends will want you in their life and I believe you will surprise yourself when you still have fun and interesting things to say (and you can remember them the next morning).

          I am going to go send you a friend invite because I really want to succeed in this and I think walking along this path with others going through the same thing is going to be key!

          Peace

          • #15650
            bly

            Participant

            Peacewarrior,

            That would be great. How do accept a friend request…?? Lol..it would be great to have a friend in this process who is ready, willing and able to share the journey..I’m so thankful.. could have never gone into a place where people are looking at me. I’m already embarrassed it’s gotten to this point. I can’t believe I stumbled upon this book. I’ve been searching for some kind of help/ support for a while now. But as I have stated…all my friends and loved ones drink. They don’t think I have a problem..maybe it would be best if I asked a non-drinker. 😏
            Thanks for your reply…Sleep well..

            Bly

          • #15651

            Participant

            Bly – go to the top corner of this page where is says “where to?” and then drop down to the “messages”. There should be a friend request from me there….. at least I sent one but I didn’t get a confirmation. I will check in with you tomorrow and see how you are doing! Have a restful sleep tonight 🙂

          • #15711

            Participant

            Hi Bly,

            I tried to respond to your message and it won’t send! I didn’t want you to think that I was ignoring you. I would love to have a conversation off forum. Your message arrived to me. Can you message me again with your email and I will send you a direct communication?

            Hope you are doing well!

            Cheers!

            Peace

        • #15644
          rl

          Participant

          Hi! I am new here too. Day 1 – been praying, and so far, so good. It helps to know there are others in the same boat!

          • #15647

            Participant

            Hi rl! I can’t believe HOW helpful it is to read other people’s struggles and accomplishments. It is nice to feel understood. I will go “friend” you as well and maybe we can journey together!

          • #15716

            Participant

            Bly and RL – I can’t “reply” to your messages and it seems that you didn’t get my “friend” request.

            I opened a new email account for the purpose of having one safe place to communicate with others. If either of you would like to email me there (or anyone else that wants to walk through the process with someone) please email me at straightedge011017@gmail.com. I will get back to you as soon as possible!

            Cheers!

  • #9764

    Participant

    Hi,
    I’m on Day 11 of Sobriety Challenge and doing great! It’s wonderful to read about so many people’s journey, whether they feel like they’ve stumbled a bit, or they are on top of it all together. I am a long time Jack Canfield protege, and feel very supported with the energy and belief that all of us can accomplish anything we see ourselves doing.
    I challenged myself from November 26th – December 31st, and accomplished total sobriety.
    I drank wine in New Year’s Eve and have found myself slipping back to unwanted habits since.
    It is my resolve/intention to go for 90 – 120 days, and keep going afterwards.
    Is there a 90 day forum?
    I appreciate any help so I can tune in to that energy as well. Thanks, and blessings to all.

    • #9790

      Hi @bloomsbury and welcome to the community! Congratulations on your sobriety thus far, I’m happy to hear you are enjoying the challenge. There isn’t a separate 90-day forum- feel free to explore each day on the forum as you tackle it in the book. You can always jump around to other days to keep yourself an active part of the community. Best of luck!

      • #9843

        Participant

        Thank you, Chelsea. I love seeing the success and determination so many are telling about. Courageous BE-ings. 😉

  • #9806

    Participant

    Day 12 for me of no booze plus listening to the audiobook, journaling, and doing the exercises. What I’m loving about this program is that I am using more than willpower. I’m actually changing instead of going through some academic exercise or a “challenge.” I’ll post more about my awarenesses in the forums moving forward.

    For background: A couple of times each year, I embark on a 30-day “break” from drinking. The last time was January of this year. I made it 27 days and then had a charity event which was a high-ticket wine tasting convention. Before that, was October and similarly, didn’t quite get to the 30-day mark because of holidays. There always seems to be some reason to get back in the regular habit of drinking. During the week, there were days when I didn’t drink at all, and others when I’d have a couple of glasses at night to “take the edge off.” A few times a year, usually at big family events, I’d drink too much. Summer days off (living on a lake) and vacations (cruise or tropical) = not uncommon to drink throughout the day with the crew. Still, as far as I know, nobody who knows me would say I am a “problem drinker.” In fact, the few people I’ve told that I’m doing this program thinks it’s odd indeed! Still, I know. Deep down, I know that I’m not a normal drinker. I’ve known this for a long time. My mother was an addict and I know what addiction looks like. Somewhere on the spectrum, perhaps on the lower end, I have symptoms of the addictive cycle. It’s one I want to break.

    I don’t want to “need a drink” to relax. I don’t want to procrastinate things that will move my business and life forward, because I can rationalize “treating myself” with a glass of wine or martini instead. I don’t want to come home from a party wondering if my alcohol induced lack of filter offended anyone or made me look less credible in my field, or wake up groggy and unproductive the next day. I want to be in the best possible physical shape. I want to sleep well. I want to know I am making choices that best serve me.

    In doing this program, I wonder if my situation is unique or others can relate? There’s a fair chance I could keep drinking and be “fine.” Yet, in my heart I know that drinking just doesn’t serve me anymore. Fine isn’t sustainable and even if it were, it’s just not good enough.

    • #9816

      Participant

      Sounds like you are quitting for all the right reasons! Don’t question yourself on this, even if people tell you that you don’t have a problem. I found out the ones who claim I am not a problem drinker have ghosts in their closets that would come out if they admitted otherwise. A good friend of mine is an RN and she says it is ridiculous for me to be concerned with the amount of wine I drink. She claims only hard alcohol is the problem for heavy drinkers. If she could read this forum and see all the wine drinkers!!!
      Good luck this time around. You are right on track.

    • #9848

      Thanks for sharing your story @cdignites. There are many many people on this forum who have similar stories as you. It sounds like you see what could develop into a serious problem, and you are choosing to address your drinking now, rather than later. Doing what you know is best for you is always the right move. Best of luck!

    • #9860

      Participant

      @cdignites
      I’m just beginning the program and I’ve had much the same experience of it as you. I just know I’m using wine to cope. It used to be food. I don’t want to do it this way anymore. I know there’s a cleaner way to be!

    • #9972

      Participant

      Yes, I can relate. Congratulations and I think there is something special about this community that will make things different. There is not a person who knows me who would think I have a problem with drinking, like you, but if you suspect, you know. My mother was a “highly functional” alcoholic. Successful at everything and a whiz at work. No words to describe reading her autopsy: cause of death was natural and secondary contributing factor was chronic alcoholism. None of us knew. She never drank around any of us. You can do this. You are not your mother. I can do this, I am not mine either.

  • #9851

    Participant

    Hey Matt

    Think of it like learning how to hit a baseball, ride a horse or play tennis. I don’t know about you, but I struck out a lot, fell off the horse and chased after many tennis balls. Don’t expect perfection. It will only get you down. Just pick yourself up and keep on going.

    JP

    • #10122

      Participant

      Thanks @jetpatriot
      You’re right about learning new skills. I’m finding repetition is helping. Many of the action steps felt uneasy to start with but as I’ve practised them each day it’s got easier.
      @sinaqueena – I think I want to go back and do the program again as well, probably over 60 or 90 days, to spend more time on it and allow myself to reflect on the material more, as there’s been a lot to take in. I’m still steaming through the 30-day program at one solution per day and I’ll finish it at the end of next week.

      Matt

  • #9971

    Participant

    Hello Community,

    I started the program 3 days ago for 30 days and have restarted today for 60 because I decided to have a glass of wine tonight. Not a good start. I drink at night, just before bed, to sleep (or so I tell myself). I am athletic and compete with great results but I know I am on borrowed time and using up a certain capital that I am blessed with. Where I get stuck is that I have nightmares every night, all night when I do not drink before bed and after a month of it I am so tired that I give in.

    I have tried meditation, herbal teas, homeopathy, sophrology, reiki… You name it, and meds are out if the question.

    Has anyone here had to deal with this and found a solution?

    Thanks for any feedback at all,
    IC

    • #10024

      Participant

      I don’t have any solutions to offer, but I pray that you find one. I began drinking more to help me sleep after my father passed. I started with a bottle of beer three years ago. Today, I’m at 1.5L a night. It’s ridiculous. The quality of my sleep is not good at all and I am exhausted all the time. People tell me all the time that I look tired. I blame it on my three young children, but I hate it. Today is day one for me, and I think I will find success because I am just so tired. I don’t know what your belief system is, but from time to time when I read the Bible it helps me to relax. The teachings of Jesus particularly. I pray all the best on your journey!

      • #10138

        Participant

        Thank you. I do have a belief system and I guess now is the time to lean in.

    • #10113

      Participant

      Hi isis_cannelle 22, I have so many dreams, not all nightmares, but some are like movies, very involved, that I’m tired the next day! Don’t know that not drinking alcohol is the cause. I’m a prolific dreamer, either way. But even though lots of dreams can be unsettling, I’m still abstaining. On Day 23, reading the book, but not getting all the homework done. I plan on completing another go round after this 30 day challenge I started on April 1st. I will use 90 days, working on each solution 3 days to get more bang for my buck, I’m learning so much. Stay strong, I know you’ll love yourself for it, even if you have to tough out the night time demons. Let me know how you’re doing if you read this. Good luck! Sina

      • #10139

        Participant

        Hi Sina and thank you. I will let you know!
        IC

  • #10049

    Participant

    I’m starting to start getting started….baby steps..this does seem like a great POSITIVE program//

  • #10111

    Participant

    I’m on Day 21 of not drinking, day 3 of the book. I’m feeling very angry and irritable, very uncomfortable with not drinking, but uncomfortable and fearful of starting again in 9 days too. Maybe it’s because I’m irritable, but if there have been so many people that have had success with this program, where are they all at on this forum? It seems there would be more than a few of them that would want to offer help and advice. It seems Chelsea is the only one I’m really seeing. Makes me somewhat dubious about the effectiveness of this program.

    • #10116

      Participant

      Hey Ginger,

      We’re here. I’m on Day 27 and I can tell you that the program is very effective. Work on the actions each day, and, no matter what, keep moving forward. For me, the first ten days were hard, but now, not drinking is easy. I’m a bit nervous about Day 30 coming because I’ve found the program to be such a breakthrough for me to evaluate my relationship with alcohol.

      All I can say is go for it.

      Bill

    • #10141

      Participant

      Hi Ginger, Sorry you’re having a hard time. Interesting that you have been not drinking for a lot longer time than you have been reading the book. Usually you would think it would be the other way around. For example I’m on day 10 of the book, but you can decide to stop drinking anytime the first week, so I am reading ahead of the time I stopped drinking by 2 days. You have gone a long time without the help of the readings, and confirmations, and action plans. I haven’t gotten any of the anger that you talk about, but perhaps it was because I read the chapter on letting go of anger. Congratulations that you have stayed sober for 21 days with very little help. Try to keep going, but perhaps do some speed reading to get your help catch up to your actions.

  • #10167

    Participant

    I have just finished day 14, and 15 days of sobriety. So far it has been ok, but the last couple of days have been grim. I have been a problem drinker for a great many years and have tried a numner of times to stop, sometimes I have managed for months, once nearly a year, but always relapsed. I always told myself it was to manage stress, and there was lots of that. My husband died three months ago and since his death I have been sitting in my living room alone at night drinking and weeping. Then I realised that I was numbing my feelings about his death and I decided I want to feel it and work through it rather than drown it like it never happened. That is why I started this program and decided not to drink any more. Trouble is, that working through this program and the reasons why I have been a drinker feels like it has opened up old deep wounds and now I feel that I have heaped so much more emotional trauma on my head alongside coping with his death and I am really struggling. I am determined to get through tonight and I hope that Phase three helps me to get past all this trauma and look to a positive future. I am in pain tonight.

    • #10169

      Participant

      Anya @aussiebattler – I can relate to using alcohol as “stress relief” and “grief relief,” and being able to go for periods of time without it. This does open up wounds, an I *think* that’s the idea. Until we get in there, see the truth of what we’re feeling, and learn how to heal it without the “liquid bandage”, it will keep opening up in lots of small (and big) ways forever. Short term pain now means much bigger long term gain. Someone once told me — pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. For me, guided chakra meditation has really helps in those 2am moments because it’s highly visual and takes enough focus to get me out of my own head. There are some great ones on YouTube. I like Ellaeenah Jadefire and Jason Stephenson.

      Stick with this, it does help! Day 19 (yesterday) was the anniversary of my dad’s death which is painful for me, even though it has been six years. During the chapter, they had a quote that stuck with me, “I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a thinking problem.” I thought, YES! That’s it! So, I’m framing this 30-day experience to reprogram my thinking. The only way to do that is to also not drink, at least not for this 30-days. After that, my vision includes continuing to “thrive in sobriety”. With that goal, I’ve already made a commitment not to have that “should I drink or should I not drink” debate when I feel stress or grief. Whereas before, that was a no-brainer “yes, why aren’t you pouring already?” not it’s actually the opposite. I know I definitely DON’T want to drink when I’m feeling those things (even beyond 30 days). I want to deal with my feelings in real time, keep healing, and move on stronger, lighter, and more able to manifest my vision.

      I’m sure this is a very hard time for you… and you can get through it. You got this!

      • #10214

        Participant

        Thank you. Your note arrived at a crucial moment and helped me greatly. I will look up your chakra meditations. I am stronger this morning.

  • #10431

    Participant

    Today is day one. I have been drinking since I was a teenager, but the last 5 years I have been drinking every night. I wake up in the morning and hate myself and vow to quit and as the day wears on I start giving in, by the time I get off of work my resolve to quit is totally gone, and I’m stopping at the store to buy alcohol. I always tell myself tomorrow I will quit. I bought the book a month ago and signed up on this site.

    • #10435

      Participant

      bella1234 welcome! Brave lady.
      You’re ready. Start your day with the book. Leave time, say an hour to do the exercises. And do as that days action plan tells you and review. THAT is a key step to your early days. Grabbing your brain and sending it new thoughts.
      Best wishes.
      bye
      HapE

      • #10438

        Participant

        Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Having other people that understand what I am going through will be very helpful. I have been wanting to quit drinking for so many years

    • #16512

      Participant

      Roxy,
      We fall info the same pattern. Today is my REAL day one. I’m exhausted and have hit rock bottom. My step-son wants my husband to “put me somewhere” and I am shunned a lot by family. I too have done exactly what you said. About 4:00 my mind starts telling me to stop and buy the wine. We can get through this thing together. I want off the coaster!

      • #16514

        Participant

        Hi Changeme-ForGood
        I thought the same thing today about your analogy of the rollercoaster. I decided to get off too.
        Feel better already. Very grateful for the book & this website.

  • #10662

    Participant

    Hi – I have had my drinking problem for over 25 years and until today I have not been 100% committed to stopping. I found the 30 day book in my local library – just by chance and today I have started reading. I am scared and anxious.

    • #10663

      Participant

      Hi jennyp, welcome, you are among friends. It’s always natural to be apprehensive when starting something new, but there’s reason for excitement too. I know you’ll enjoy this book and program. It’s very positive! Sina

  • #11399

    Participant

    I just got the book and I’m about to start reading Day1 today. I’m just worried about the withdraw symptoms (DT’s, seizures, hallucinations, etc..) I’ve been a daily drinker for past eight years (5-10 beers a night, Sometimes more on weekends). Do those things happen after drinking 8 years? Never just went Cold Turkey before.

    • #11405

      Participant

      Hi Harley. I think if you are worried about the withdrawals, then speak with a doctor and start reading the book. If you can slow down the drinking and get started on the reading, you’ll be well prepared to get started with your 30 days of sobriety. I recommend checking out the forums and posting your questions just like you did today. It’s really been helping me. You are among friends here!. Best wishes!

  • #11445

    Participant

    Good Morning 30 Day Sobriety Solution Community –

    I am on the 60 day program and am on Day 1 – do I need to set my “sobriety date” for a date before I finish the 1st week (June 4th) or can it be set for a later date (say at the 30 day mark)? Just want to be sure I am successful coming out of the gate. Thank you. Have a good day everyone!

    • #11447

      Participant

      Welcome absolute. Here is my opinion. It’s only that. The sooner you stop drinking
      , the better your chances of success. The longer you put off taking the first step, the farther away you are from your goal. At th heart of the program is the 30 Day Reboot. If you lapse, and many do, you will need to start that period over. If you are still very dependent on drinking and pushing the quit day further away, your goal is also further away. Many have completed the 30DSS in 90 days, but have even more days of Sobriety. With every day you resist temptation your resolve becomes stronger. Prepare to accept a lot of discomfort on the road, it’s inevitable. Your choice, no one is checking up on you! Good luck with the 100% Commitment of Day 1, the sooner you cut out the internal debate, the sooner you become the New You. I have a feeling that you already know all this and we’re just looking for another reason to continue drinking a little longer. PS, the Solutions are best done Sober! Best of luck! I’m on day 54 of Thriving in Sobriety after completing the 30DSS, and on Day 10 of my second go round of the program. IT IS SOOO WORTH IT!!!
      Sina

  • #11593

    Participant

    I just read the Day Two Chapter, am actually on Day Three sober. I started the book on a holiday weekend and at the beginning of a 2-week vacation, not sure this is the best time but I couldn’t wake up another morning feeling tired, guilty and hung over.

    I have a “happy hour habit” that was becoming a problem. One glass of wine led to two and then three, which then led to overeating. I am working toward losing weight but realize that in order to meet my goals (weight loss and otherwise), I need to stop drinking. So, here I am. 🙂

    I am already discovering new things about myself and am nervous about where this journey is going to take me, how sobriety is going to change my relationships. I have to move past the fear and anxiety, though, or I’m going to continue in this unhealthy spiral.

    So happy to have the support here.

    • #11594

      Participant

      Samantha09 – I’m almost at 60 days and two things I found that may be helpful to you:

      1) I now call that time “witching hour” instead of “happy hour.” Once I got into the exercises and reversed the pain / pleasure equation, I realised that drinking only leads to unhappiness (despite any temporary feeling that makes us believe the opposite.)

      2) One of the reasons I was craving wine at that time is because of big dips in my sugar levels. It’s also why I was also overeating along with the wine. When I first quit drinking, I gained weight because I simply stopped the wine… but kept the eating. I finally discovered that when I keep my sugar levels even throughout the day, I don’t crave wine OR food. To keep sugar levels even, I need to prep food and eat a bit all through the day. Whenever I don’t eat breakfast… or eat too much at one meal which makes me not want to eat for several hours… that’s no good.

      Good luck!

      All that said, just focus on sobriety for the first 30-days. Maybe don’t worry about food throughout the day, but make sure you DO eat something about an hour before your typical witching hour.

      • #11595

        Participant

        cdignites,

        Thanks so much for the reply and the suggestion! I’ll more closely monitor my food intake, especially during the “witching hour,” (love that) and see what happens. 🙂

    • #11602

      Participant

      You are in the right place! That was my story, Happy hour out of control. Doing this program was the best thing for me. I haven’t felt this good in so long. My puffy ankles/legs are gone and I sleep like a baby. The best part is having my confidence back!!

      • #11623

        Participant

        I have already noticed a big change in my quality of sleep! Looking forward to additional improvements.

  • #11600

    Participant

    Thank you, Dave and Jack for the Program and of course @Chelsiecohen(30-day coach)and your positive reinforcement.

    I have just completed the 30 day program for the second time. I originally started January 29th. It’s not that I fell off the wagon, as I did not, but I really missed the daily, positive reinforcement, structure and focused time. I discovered the second time through that I had not comprehended so much from the first reading; especially in the Third Phase. I know I cannot continue this for the rest of my life as we all need to move on, but it works for now.

    Another reason I did the program again was that I was afraid I would fall off the wagon. After the program the first time, I gained clarity and a sense of sanity; however, I felt like I returned to my home after a tornado had swept through leaving a pile of problems to clean up. The past use of alcohol had totally covered up my view of life’s challenges and now realize that for years I was hoping someone else would take care of them or they would simply disappear. I was a passive player in my own life.

    With the tools in the book, My problems are not solved, but I am meeting them face on;trying different strategies and reaching out to others for advice. New opportunities have opened up. They may have been there before, but I never saw them due to my fogged and self centered head. My advice to any new graduate is to let it all sink in for a few days, then do the 30 days again. Keep your journal going and when you do the 30 days again go back to the original entries as I promise you, you can push yourself to be a little better than the last, just like working out your muscles. You will continue to encounter big problems that may tempt you to drink, but use your newly trained brain to make the right decisions. Before January, my brain was on autopilot and now I have control. If I go down, at least I will go down fighting.

    Again, thank you for a great program and I wish every graduate “Good Luck!” When you stay sober, you won’t need luck as you have the greatest gift in life for you, your family and your community and that gift is You.

  • #11653

    Participant

    I’d really like to review the data used in a few studies that have been mentioned in the book.
    One of the studies involved the power of positive statements as it applied to manual muscle testing in physical therapy. The other study was on the power of goal writing for patients following hip and knee surgery. Can someone point me in the right direction to find supplemental information on these studies. The original studies would be most helpful for me. Would you mind sending me a private message so I don’t have to find this original thread.

  • #11685

    Participant

    Hi Dave,
    I had the awesome opportunity to listen to the webinar you held last night. Thank you so much again for doing that.
    Just wanted to make sure I didn’t miss out on the mind map and the info about the 90 day goal program you were talking about.
    Also, I started the book in mid March and got to solution 12 before I left on vacation May 1st and just kinda fell off the wagon. You mentioned last night to just keep going and not start over…would that be your same advice for me?
    Thanks so much again!

  • #11727

    Participant

    I’m not a drinker, I have a different addiction, but I’ve tried so many different things, and I believe this is the way to go. I have started and committed to the 30 day solution TODAY. Kate purple

  • #11977

    Participant

    Hi Everyone-

    This is Day 1 for me on this program, and I am *trying* to feel 100% committed. It’s hard, and scary to envision life without my daily bottle+ of white wine, giving me that release at the end of my long and stressful days. I have quit before, sometimes for weeks, occasionally for a few months, but am not able to stay stopped.

    Like many others on this forum, I have not hit bottom and am still “functioning.” However my drinking is slowly progressing, and I feel like it’s just a matter of time until something bad happens. What is bothering me about my drinking is what is NOT happening as a result – I feel stuck in my life and incapable of making changes as I’m either working, parenting, stressing, or drinking. I just don’t have the headspace required to make positive changes in my life. I’m hoping this program will help me stay sober this time – I’ve been at day 1 of intended sobriety hundreds of times before and am not feeling very confident about my success.

    • #11990

      Participant

      Welcome trijane! Congratulations on making the best decision of your life. You will not regret it.
      My last drink was March 31. I am still working the program, and others after completing my first round. I’m feeling better every day . I still have urges, but they are not going to cause me to drink and losey best shot at Thriving in Sobriety !
      I had my share of false starts which were very demoralizing. It was because I was not 100% comitted.
      Once you do decide to do the 100% commitment, you will have a much better chance to attain your goals.
      As far as needing to hit “rock bottom”, that is just one more justification drunks ( ok, people who drink excessively ) use to continue their vice. Look in the index at the back of the book under “R” if you would like to see what the 30DSS has to say about the myth of hitting rock bottom.
      If you are able to truly commit to wanting to stop ruining your life and the lives of your family with alcohol, trust that this book will provide you with the tools to not only quit drinking, but more importantly, to Thrive in Sobriety and live a life you’ll be excited and proud to experience. I’ll “friend” you, so check out your profile, if you want support, I’m happy to help as best I can.
      You Will be able to accomplish this!!! I fought it for years, and now that I’m achieving it, I’m happier than I thought possible. Life’s challenges and inevitable disappointments don’t go away, but I’m better able to deal. And better able to help and be present for those I care about and not let down those who love me.
      I’m glad you picked up this book. I won’t wish you good luck, cause luck doesn’t figure into it. It has to be your decision to do the work. Stay strong, it pays off! Sina

    • #12032

      Participant

      Hi @trijane,
      Welcome!
      I relate to what you’ve said. When we’re drinking excessively, even though we may still be functioning with the necessities of life, it’s very easy to feel stuck and that we can’t make the changes that we want to make. I was like that for a few years too before I started doing this program. And like you, I intended to get a grip on the whole thing many, many times, before I found this book.
      It is totally scary to think about doing without something that’s become very significant to us, even when we can also acknowledge how it’s holding us back.
      It’s completely understandable to be scared, and to question our resolve with the 100% commitment at the beginning. I was exactly the same. I wanted to be committed, but I doubted that I was and I doubted that I had what it takes. It’s hard to commit to something before you can experience the benefit of doing so.
      If you decide to proceed (which I sincerely hope you do!), you will find that the book leads you along day by day and will introduce you to all manner of ideas, techniques and solutions that have the capacity to completely change your relationship to drinking and the way you feel about it. You’ll find that your commitment actually gets easier as you go along, as the solutions begin to work for you.
      I’m just coming to the end of my second run through the program and I’m now enjoying a transformation in the way I think, feel and behave, not only in relation to drinking, but in relation to everything else in life as well.
      I wish you all the best on this journey. Feel free to friend/message me if I can be of any help.
      Matt

  • #12694

    Participant

    Today is Day 9 for me (entirely sober since Day 1), but I’m posting in Day 8, because the material in Chapt. 8 finally got closer to the “why” for me. The concept of Decision Fatigue was a key one. I had a happy and fulfilling childhood, my academic career (high school, undergraduate, and graduate) was generally highly successful, and I have had an outstanding career so far. I have no baggage, no regrets, no shame, no anger, no guilt, etc. The “Total Truth” and “Forgiveness” concepts simply don’t seem to have much relevance for me. Decision fatigue does have relevance, especially seeing some of the above posts about the “5 O’Clock ‘threshold'”. My usual routine was, come home from work, generally happy but mentally wore out, grab the rocks glass, fill it up with ice, and pour 3 fingers of whisky, plop down in front of the TV, then pour another, and another, and . . . . you get the point. THAT is the key for me; breaking that cycle. Some of the ideas journaled in Day 4 for the third action step (stuff to do to distract from drinking) has potential. Just coming home and not grabbing a drink first thing may be the key to (1) regaining good decision-making (e.g., do I drink today or not, most likely not), and (2) the decision to just pour one drink and cut it off for the night. But, all that is for another day after the 30-Day reboot is successfully completed.

    • #12704

      Participant

      Hi yelpmark.
      I found your post to be confounding to say the least.
      You state that your childhood was happy, your education well rounded, and your career flourishing. Happy well adjusted fulfilled people who have no baggage, no regrets, no shame, no anger and no guilt do not come home at night in a generally happy and worn out mood and proceed to drink themselves into oblivion every night.
      So why do you drink?
      Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. It is, in essence, a poison.
      Perhaps the 30DSS is not for you, since the Solutions build on each other in a logical order, and you have completed “Phase I, Mastering The Absolute Basics To Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be”, with little benefit.
      Maybe you would get more beneficial results from a program like Smart Recovery. They have an excellent handbook available online. It includes worksheets which help one to dicover the benefits derived from addictive behaviors, identify the costs, and analyze the cost benefit ratio.
      Many other practical tools and strategies are served up in a doable manner that might just work for you. Google it!
      The 30DSS involves a lot of introspection and some soul searching that doesn’t seem to resonate with what you share in your post.
      I would love to hear your thoughts on this, and I’m curious as to how and why this insidious and unhealthy behavior came to be a habit for you.
      Thanks for your consideration on this topic. Sina

      • #12739

        Participant

        Sinaqueena: It took me a few days to figure out how to respond to your post regarding my Day 8 experiences, because I really don’t know what to say in response. You say that, “Happy well adjusted fulfilled people who have no baggage, no regrets, no shame, no anger, and no guilt do not come home at night in a generally happy and worn out mood and proceed to drink themselves into oblivion every night.” The best answer I can give is, “Yes, they do.” That was in part the point of my post. Growing up in a good home and having a good life are not guarantees or any kind of protection that one will not slip into the grip of addiction. The 30-d book (and others I’ve read) is loaded with examples of folks just like me, folks with Ph.D’s, MD’s, MBA’s and successful careers who have succumbed to alcohol addiction. Why? Because it happens, for many and complex reasons. Chapter 12, Chapter 11, and Chapter 8 all provide some explanation; also the quote by Robert Downey Jr. on p. 169 of the book. I started drinking when I came of legal age. Why? Because I wanted to and because I liked it (I still like it – always will as long as I live. It’s a matter of making good choices and decisions). I appreciate your providing some other resources for me to consult, which I may check out when I finish my 30-day reboot, but I am not seeing any reason why the 30 Day Solution is not a good fit for me because I don’t entirely fit “the profile”. Just sayin’.

        • #12740

          Participant

          Hi yelpmark. I appreciate your response. Your initial post confounded me because it’s very rare that a person had not experienced the negative emotions you listed. I’m really glad to hear that you are in fact getting value from the 30DSS! I agree that a happy childhood, a “good” family, or much education doesn’t protect one from addiction. I don’t believe that liking alcohol causes addiction to it. I believe that as you delve further into what the 30DSS offers up, you’ll find more of value to apply to the “thinking” problem that is behind the drinking problem. I feel that identifying the why’s behind a behavior is essential to changing it.
          I agree with Downey that the ritual becomes habitual (damn, that’s got a good ring!). I also think that there’s more to an addictive behavior than ” it seemed like a good idea at the time” type thinking!
          Those “many and complex” reasons will yield to self examination, I’m certain! Congratulations on your continuing 30 day reboot! Sina
          (I left you a pm on your profile page)

  • #13199

    Participant

    Just joined today, sitting at home hungover and feeling sorry for myself. This has to change.

    I am in the wine trade so I feel like a dealer as well as a drinker.

    I have to change my persona to reflect the new person I must become. Whether I leave the trade or not is a decision that I will have to make after a period of deep sobriety.

    I have lived in pubs my entire life and have a father who was addicted to booze and was told recently that if he drank again he would die.

    I DETEST the way he is when he is drunk and yet I am exactly the same when I’m drunk. How dumb am I.

    I saw myself as him in the future and hate the thought of that potential outcome.

    This is going to be a challenge as the longest I have been sober for was 15 days but I’m committed to it and I know despite the inevitable hard times ahead the suffering is optional.

    I’ll choose not to suffer and not to blame anyone else but myself.

    Good luck and strength to you all

    • #13205

      Participant

      Hi soberkev. And welcome to the program. It’s one that will empower you to Thrive, not just quit drinking. So brighter days await, try to stay positive! Please go to your profile page, as I’ve friended you there and will leave you a pm. Sina

      • #13213

        Participant

        Well done soberkev for starting the program. There is so much help and support here – please use it and keep posting. This program is so different and as you work through the solutions the battle with alcohol becomes easier – certainly a challenge worth sticking at! We have SO much to gain from this. Keep strong.

  • #13265

    Participant

    hello everyone.I can’t believe I am doing this. This is my 4th day not drinking and I just completed day 1 action steps. I have always drank… I am so scared. I am having a hard time understanding why I am so afraid. I think I have found my answer, its because I DO NOT KNOW WHO I AM. Ready4This!

    • #13267

      Participant

      Hey there ready4this! I’m on Day 2 and I am actually feeling excited about this. I think that is because I recognize that alcohol is taking me in the opposite direction of who I ever thought I was. It’s like I did a total 180 and do not recognize who I’ve become so it feels exciting to be heading in the right direction. I really like the format of the days that help to reawaken you to who you are.

      When you say you don’t know who you are maybe that’s because you haven’t had enough sober time in life in general to have really envisioned what it is that you want. If that’s the case it seems that the exercises are designed to start pulling that out of us. I would say to relax into it and let your self start dreaming about what your ideal like would look like. That’s not really something we have a chance to do when we work all day and then reach for a drink to relax.

      I will look forward to staying in touch over this adventure!

      • #13325

        Participant

        Congratulations rivieragirl for giving yourself the great gift of starting on this journey.Trust the excitement and stay with it. And (message to myself as well!) keep posting about your progress.
        Here’s to all our thriving.

        • #13405

          Participant

          Hi everyone – I’m totally new! I got the book, have read Day 1 and looked at the online resources. I’m scared but oddly excited…I’ve read posts about people feeling excited. I have consumed excessive amounts of wine for decades. I, too, don’t know who I am without alcohol. I went to AA about 10 years ago, didn’t drink for 22 mos, and the entire time I was completely angry and frustrated that other people could drink and I couldn’t. This time, after finding this program, it feels very, very different. My start date is Sept. 1 and I WANT to Thrive in Sobriety. Looking forward to these forums for feedback and encouragement!!

          • #13409

            Participant

            Welcome! This program is really different. You will find that the exercises get you focused on where you want to go and get you excited about accomplishing your goals again. Then you feel motivated to stay clear headed and do the right thing. I’m on Day 7 and really happy with the way it’s starting to reboot my mind.

          • #13430

            Participant

            Thanks so much, rivieragirl! It’s SO encouraging to hear you’re on Day 7 and love the idea of rebooting my mind. Just posting on this forum is empowering!

          • #13415

            Participant

            Welcome to your new life wisecats. I have tried for years to give up alcohol and am so grateful to have found this program and all of the support here. It isn’t an easy journey – our habits are deep set, but stick at it, commit 100% and reach out for help and support and I truly believe this can be different for you. I am 32 days sober and am going through the program again. I am still a work in progress but am loving my sober life – just waking up every day with a clear head is amazing! Keep posting wisecats – look forward to seeing how you’re getting on.

          • #13429

            Participant

            Thank you so much, cazfree53! Very encouraging to know you’ve tried for years and are now 32 days sober! Congratulations and that’s SO great to know it can be done. Through the book and this forum, I’ve come to understand how many of us are struggling with the same issues. I’ve felt so alone in this and there’s such a relief to know I’m not crazy and that if this many people can get sober, so can I!

  • #13424

    Participant

    I realize this simple but I cant figure out how to post un the forums.. I am not big on the internet. is the only way to reply?

    • #13426

      Participant

      Hi kaboom. This site isn’t easy to navigate. Try using the “Where to?” bar. Click on it and scroll down to whatever day Forum you want to post in. I think it’s better to just post on the main thread rather than hit “reply” on someone’s comment.(although that’s what I did here!). You can also click on a person’s screen name and then you’ll be able to reply with a “private message on their page and “friend” them, although it doesn’t do anything as it does on a Facebook page . Please feel free to let me know if you want any help. Just click on my name, sinaqueena and leave me a message there. Let me know if you got this message! And welcome !!! Sina

  • #13451

    Participant

    Well, this is my first day and I’m feeling pretty anxious and unsettled…still 100% committed tho! Kind of scared about going home after work, where I would immediately pour a glass of wine. Also worried I’m going to get shaky or have physical symptoms…has anyone experienced this? I know the book says only 10% of people need to medically detox, so I hope I’m not one of the 10%. Does anyone have any feedback about the first day/night??

    • #13501

      Participant

      Welcome! You can do this! I am on day 11 and had the same fears. You could check with your doctor if you are worried about symptoms but I drank very heavily (evenings after work) and I didn’t feel any symptoms. The draw of the couch-tv-drink routine. As and is very strong for me. I am trying to find ways to break that cycle. For instance, when I get home, grab some tea and head outside to read or listen to podcasts. Don’t quite have it down yet but keeping at it. I am enjoying the program and learning so much about my drinking – which is good! Good luck!

  • #13618

    Participant

    Hi everyone, this is my first ever post and my first day in this program (or any program). I’ve tried to stop drinking for 5 years in my own with some success, but my goal is to stop entirely as I know I cannot just have one! I’m from Vancouver Island, B.C. 100% committed! Would love to hear from all of you! Islandgirl

    • #13625

      Participant

      Hi islandgirl

      My drinking increased over the last 10 years and I proved unable to reverse that on my own. I am happy to report that I’m on Day 17 and this has been no struggle at all. For some reason on my own I would only make it 3-4 days before I’d decide to have a glass of wine. There is something defining about picking up this program, committing to 30 days, doing the exercises and reading and posting on the forums. You will quickly realize how much better you feel and how the exercises shift your mind to a much more optimistic, goal oriented place. You will quickly see what a complete stall pattern drinking puts you into. Enjoy!

      • #13627

        Participant

        Congrats on your success rivieragirl! I hope this reply makes it to you, I’m new to this! I’m super excited to work through this book… I am hoping to find some advice on resisting drinking during holidays/vacations, which has almost always been my downfall over the past 5 years of trying to stop drinking. I’ve signed up for yoga again which really helped me stay calm and focused before. Where do you live if you don’t mind my asking?

        • #13636

          Participant

          Hi islandgirl! I live in San Diego. I have been able to resist being around alcohol during this “journey” but I am going straight to a weekend long party on Day 31 where people will be drinking the whole time. It will be interesting to see how I feel when I get there. I have no idea if I’m quitting entirely forever or if I will end up drinking moderately in the future. Right now I’m very aware that I don’t want to go backwards and I want to keep feeling as good as I do. I’m seeing that even a slight bit of alcohol really colors my mood and energy. I love waking up feeling good everyday. I’m not sure I’ve ever really foregone drinking entirely in a party atmosphere so I want to try it out. It seems weird to say that I’ver never not joined in but I would say I drink the same as everyone else in a party situation. Time to see how it is to just skip it entirely.

          • #13638

            Participant

            Island and Riviera Girls, the names sound like a party vacation. Let’s call it taking a break -from alcohol in this case and chilling. I had the same concern about meeting my old friends at Lake MI a few months ago (i’m 5+ months into this). Would i drink? Guess what? The first thing i told them was “i’m not drinking. It makes me tired.” And that was that. never came up again. I drank Lime LaCroix water and noticed several others enjoyed it, so i went and got more:)

          • #13641

            Participant

            You’re right, jmsrlc, our handles sound like a vacation I’d like to be on.

            Thanks for your response. I think I may just borrow your declaration. I have already told my sister about how quickly I felt my moods had evened out and I wasn’t irritable like I had been. She definitely has some irritable/ grouchy issues; mostly from being very over busy but I suggested, and she agreed, that a 30 day break might be good for her. I am sure I will get some blow back on this but I don’t really care.

          • #13642

            Participant

            Is anyone else having a problem where the column width shrinks with each reply? I can only see one letter per line, but i can read your comments in the email I received!

          • #13643

            Participant

            Hi again rivieragirl and jmsrlc, I’ve just finished day 2 work and I’ve really gotten a lot out of just these 2 days (which is really 4 days as I’m doing 60 total) I stopped drinking 9 days ago after a year of really cutting back, but without any kind of support I was doomed to fail. Do you use any other resources or go to meetings? I like podcasts.
            Best, islandgirl

          • #13645

            Participant

            Islandgirl, Time flies whether your drinking or not. Thinking about drinking is a waste of time we get caught up in. Go to day 13 and learn tapping. Don’t worry if there is an exact right way to do it. I tap on the top of my head several times a day, take a couple deep breathes and cite the affirmation “even though i have thoughts of drinking (or whatever) I completely accept and love you, man. Your doing great.” It is a positive/true affirmation that gets me out of drinking thinking and calms me.

            And start telling people in a positive and assured fashion “i’m feeling really good. I haven’t been drinking, i exercise, and i don’t eat white bread/pasta/rice.” It’s so many things people know you’re on to something good. And it opens a door for conversation. You will be surprised how many people don’t drink.

            We all have faith. Mine is in Jesus Christ. Being a practical person the book A Case for Christ, by Josh McDowell helped with the logical aspect.
            You really are doing great. You are feeling more and more confident every day. God loves you:) Journey on.

          • #13648

            Participant

            Thanks jmsrlc, I’ve heard about the tapping, you’ve got me curious but I’m going to stick with the steps in the book which is already a lot!

            I don’t mind telling folks that I’m not drinking, a lot of people my age feel the same way about a lot of their various habits.

            One of the biggest problems I have us eating too many sweets at night now. I just crave something after dinner and I’ve always let that go because it’s better than drinking, but this time around if like to work in that as well.

            Glad to hear things are going well for you, tap on😊

  • #13738

    Participant

    Hi Dave, I read on a forum that someone is doing his/her journal as a blog to a forum. I think this would be really beneficial and helpful for me. Where should I write it? I’m not very computer or forum savvy. Thanks.

    • #13741

      Participant

      Hi runninggirl. Dave has not responded to anyone since the very beginning of the release of the book. He is on to other projects. The people who make up these forums are on their own. We now help each other! Sina

  • #15366

    Participant

    Hello Community,
    I am a new member. I have a peculiar habit of indulging in alcohol, specially a bottle of red wine on each weekend evening, [Fri – Sun] and on holidays. I am not able to moderate. I normally do not touch alcohol on weekdays/evenings, because of hectic work schedules. I enjoy wine and food. But at the same time I feel a bottle/evening is too much. It’s costing me valuable time, too many calories and potentially bad precedence / message to kids.

    I visited AA once, but I felt I could not fit there.

    Appreciate any suggestions.
    Thanks,
    Lotusleaf

  • #15477

    Participant

    Hi, this is my day 6, I bought the book and started reading several times. Had a rough year. My day 1 was Jan 1st, 2017, and I have been planning this for a while. I am totally committed to staying sober for 30 days. Like I said I bought this book several months ago and have started several times. Never seemed to make it to day 6. Thats usually Friday so you can probably understand my dilemma. Not that it had to be a weekend for me to drink. I have done the steps to day 10 just not consecutively. I have also discovered the steps still help when I am still drinking because even when I’m drinking I don’t often don’t drink as much. Still want to not drink to much ever so like I said I figure Jan 1st is as good a time to start my journey as any.

  • #15496

    Participant

    Hello all! Today is my Day 1. I found the book at the library and checked it out. I think this is an amazing program. I am committed to 100% to not drinking (for 30 days and more if that is what I decide when I get to day 30).
    My story…I drink two glasses of red wine every night and I have done so for at least 6 years. Everyone in my family dad, mom, 2 sisters and grown son are all recovered alcoholics. I am not sure if I am an alcoholic but I think I can safely say I am alcohol dependent. I am turning 54 this month, I am not overweight nor do I have any medical conditions. But, I always looked forward to having a drink if I had a hard day at work, if it was the weekend, if I was tired, happy or had something special to celebrate. I realized after reading the book that E (event…any event for me) plus R (Response…I need/want/deserve a drink) equals O (Outcome…a drink every night as a reward for anything). Over the Christmas holidays, I looked at a picture of myself and my face was very bloated. I realized that there may be a problem. I am into health and wellness and it is very important to me to be healthy and I am not so sure that drinking every day allows me to be healthy long term. And, I always fear that I could cross the line ( or maybe I have crossed the line and am in denial about it). So, 2017 is my journey to change things about my life and my drinking that I need and want to change. I believe I can do this and hope to encourage other people on here as well. All the best, Butterfly 2-5-10

    • #15533

      Participant

      Hi Butterfly. Today is my day 1. Let’s do this together. I could really use a companion to walk through the 30 day journey with. I have started and stopped so many times before. I really want this time to be different. This is my first time with this program (or any program) and I have never been through treatment. I am a really high functioning excessive wine drinker and it is time to make some changes. I think many people in my life would be surprised to learn that I am doing this program but I know that it is time for me to make some different choices and to focus on something other than shutting my brain off at the end of the evening with wine – or anything else that might be around. I also can find any excuse to enjoy some wine and it is starting to concern me.

      I want to be healthier and happier and I HATE the thought of something having control over me.

      We can do this!
      Peace

      • #15545

        Participant

        Hi Peace Warrier. Congratulations on your DAY 1!!! Woo hoo! Pelligrino Cheers! Yes, let’s do this together. I am on Day 3 so maybe me being a couple of days ahead of you can help! I am in 100% and I think it would be encouraging to have another person who I can do this program with. This is my first time to do any program as well. Like yourself, I am a high functioning wine drinker too! During the week, I would limit myself to only two glasses or 1/2 bottle. If we had a function on the weekends, I might do more. Everything was a reason for me to have wine at night. Day two exercises are great but can be challenging. Just write down whatever your vision is and don’t worry how it sounds. I wrote one down and liked it but I also liked someone else’s who posted on here so I am going to have both of those be my vision. I think it would be really cool if this website had a list of user names and their progress (what day they were on in the journey). I think it would be great to see what days people were on etc…Please let me know how I can help. I think our culture and alcohol manufacturers have brainwashed us to believe the lies about alcohol. By giving in to our desires, we no longer are in charge of our lives. I think I am rambling. I need to start the homework for day three. Stay strong and believe in yourself. Tiffany

        • #15553

          Participant

          This is going to be SO MUCH EASIER to do it with you! I am going to PM you. Thanks for offering up your support. Just reading through this forum and feeling like I understand and will be understood is a huge relief! Thanks 🙂

      • #15546

        Participant

        @gator. Hi Gator. Just checking in with you. How are you doing? You should be on day 10? I hope it is going well for you!

        • #15551

          Participant

          Hi Butterfly2510, It’s going amazing. Yes this is my day 10, like I said in a post a few days ago, I bought my book last spring and got to day 5 I think. Then had a terrible family tragedy occur and due to this was gone from home and unable to concentrate on the program. I had enough of reading and working the program that i was able to behave, I mean I didn’t get falling down drunk, and I didn’t drink every night. I decided there was no way I wanted to start before the holidays, and so by the time January 1st came it was almost a relief. Friends invited us to come over the 1st and had bloody mary’s and screwdriver mixes and told me to help myself and I hesitated for only a moment and said I already had coffee. Friday was my day 6 and I told my husband who doesn’t drink, and is a recovering alcoholic, that I was cleansing for 30 days. I’m not sure why I’m not being totally honest with him. It’s complicated. How are you doing? Hope all is well.

    • #15549

      Participant

      Hi Butterfly2510, It’s going amazing, like I said in a post a few days ago, I bought my book last spring and got to day 5 I think. Then had a terrible family tragedy occur and due to this was gone from home and unable to concentrate on the program. I had enough of reading and working the program that i was able to behave, I mean I didn’t get falling down drunk, and I didn’t drink every night. I decided there was no way I wanted to start before the holidays, and so by the time January 1st came it was almost a relief. Friends invited us to come over the 1st and had bloody mary’s and screwdriver mixes and told me to help myself and I hesitated for only a moment and said I already had coffee. Friday was my day 6 and I told my husband who doesn’t drink, and is a recovering alcoholic, that I was cleansing for 30 days. I’m not sure why I’m not being totally honest with him. It’s complicated. How are you doing? Hope all is well.

  • #15557

    Participant

    @ gator! That is great to hear you are on day 10! I am so happy for you. It sounds like you are in a really great place. I am doing well. Thank you for asking. I am doing the exercises in the book and using that as my replacement for drinking. I think the exercises are a good way to not think about drinking because you’re reading and trying to figure out how to Thrive in Sobriety and you don’t have time to think so much about drinking. (I think that is a run on sentence). Anyway, I am on day three. I wrote down what I will do to not drink, wrote down my game plan. My husband and I are going to dinner with friends on Thursday and I will just order a club soda. I also like to make homemade pizza but I don’t make it very much because it’s so fattening. But, I decided I would reward myself every Friday night by making a homemade pizza. Yummy! I think that is a pretty good treat!
    As far as not telling your husband, that is ok. That is what you need right now. So, that is ok. Just think how proud he will be of you when you tell him at the end you did not drink for thirty days! I know he will be so happy for you. Or, you may decide one day to tell him before the thirty days are up. That is ok too. You will know when it is the right time. Focus on Thriving. It sounds like you are thriving so keep it up. I am very happy for you. It is nice to have someone who is a couple of days ahead of me. Have a great night! Tiffany (Oh, I tried to Friend request you and send a private message but this website is slow and clunky. It was not working so I replied on here).

  • #16405

    Participant

    I am on day 15 in the book and am going great guns through the action steps, etc. I am enjoying the process. Also cheating a bit in that I started in January. Went away for 2 weeks and had to start over. So I have been alcohol free for 9 days but on day 15 in the book.
    All that aside, I have a question. I am on this mission on my own and so it should be, but my husband, not a problem drinker, drinks as much as I did.
    In my exploration and journalling, I have questioned the beginnings of my problem. When my husband and I first met, I learned very quickly that he and his family were heavy drinkers. I say heavy, a relative term. From my perspective,heavy drinkers. His parents both drank everyday, his mom throughout the day, his dad every night. They loved to party and were/are a very happy family. For them drinking has not been considered a problem, ever, it is just the way it is. His Dad just died this fall, his mom is 90, she still drinks. Her son, my husband, went in to see her a few weeks ago with a hangover, and her comment to him was , ” You used to be such a great drinker”!!! So it is my own doing I know, but I have become a drinker as well.
    I have gone through all of this( wanting to quit or curb my drinking) with my spouse before and now again. He says he is fine with it all. And on lots of fronts I think he is, but as with any change, things between us have been a little tense. Our every day revolved around drinking. When our kids were young we didn’t drink much at all, but since they have grown, we drink every day and have for about 20 years now.
    All of the issues I have read about and thought about over these last few days , are no stranger to me. I have thought many many times about stopping.
    This aspect and many aspects of my husband and his family have bothered me over the years. How this is , is not really how I wanted things to be for me. Part of the change that is happening, is that I am going back there, to where I was when I met my husband. I was a young, a single mom and he was fun and care free. We have had lots of fun and our kids are relatively happy and healthy. But in all honesty we are soooo completely different. I am an introvert, he is the life of the party. My parents were fussy, his were not, at all. I slacked off from being a perfectionist and have learned to be more accepting and patient. But in some ways I think I lost part of myself in it all.
    I have been witness to this through out my entire marriage, nagged on about it for years…you know the being a “mother”, the most invisible and thankless job ever. So I think I just took drinking as the answer…but for me it is a problem. I start out after a binge, usually wine 1-2 bottles, I will stop drinking for 1 day. Drink 1-3 the next day and for about 3-4 days after, binge drink a few more times and then binge drink so much that I get sick and the cycle starts again.
    So my question ….well now that I’ve spewed all this out, maybe my question is where is all this going to take me? I fear the unknown I am guess. How will it all play out?

    • #16406

      Participant

      Hello iamlight! My hats off to you for your heartfelt post. I can’t say I know where all this is going for you. I can only say that I admire you for taking action in order to Thrive in Sobriety and in life itself. If you tap on “Where to” above and then scroll down to “My Profile “, you will see I left you a friend request. Onward! Sina

  • #16644

    Participant

    I began this by embarking on the road to consciousness and looking at when I drink, why I drink, and how much. It’s either to celebrate, de-stress, relax, or the worst, to medicate emotional or physical pain. The latter are signs of alcohol being a coping mechanism and that is rock bottom enough for me. I’m grateful to recognize the issue before becoming physically dependent and suffering health consequences. Staying sober and clear headed will lead to more consciousness and better, brighter events in my life. Watch me do it…yes I can and I will and I am. It’s Day 4. The writings are accompanying website are inspirational, informative, and confirmation of the positivity that awaits all of us. Thank you for reading. I’m in. Are you?

  • #16742

    Participant

    Day 1

    • #16744

      Participant

      Welcome to the Sober Coaster kiddo!!! 🙂 Sina

      • #16756

        Participant

        Thank you! I’m on Day 11 now and doing the work every day by reviewing the “after me” and my end goals. My mood is improving in this short period of time. Since it takes 30 days to rewire those neuronal connections, only better things are ahead. The core values on Day 10 really spoke to me and I make each choice during the day with those in mind. When a relative asked how “lent” was going I replied, “Great! I gave up alcohol!”. It sure makes for a good excuse when one doesn’t want to go into details. Thanks for your support and I’m sending support your way.;)

  • #17013

    Participant

    Brought the Audio book and registered yesterday, My problem is binge drinking, once I have just one, I keep going and once I hit that peak of feeling good after 3 or 4 , I can’t stop and drink until I black out. I had listened up to chapter 10, started my journal and finished My steps. But day one, I started drinking in the Arvo, but I had it on my mind and I made myself stop, I went to bed drunk, but can remember doing this, still woke up hungover, but relieved I can remember this. Today I have read back what I wrote in my journal, and reviewed day one, so feeling back on track, I can do this, finishing my steps for day 2 and reading other people’s journeys certainly helps. Feeling like crap today, I know day 2 today it will be easy not to have one, cause I feel like shit, But day 3 maybe another story.

  • #17213
    suz

    Participant

    Day 1 and not my first day 1. But I will continue to return to day 1 until I’ve got it. I’ve learned a lot and I’m still learning. When I think about what alcohol has cost me in terms of my self respect and what it has cost me in my past as my mother was an abusive alcoholic….when I see what misery alcohol inflicts on individuals and families….just so painful and yet look at the hold it has on me. This is my journey. Alcohol takes much more away from me than it gives me. I just have to keep working this puzzle until the pieces fit !!! Thanks for sharing.

    • #17215

      Participant

      Hi @suz . The important thing is that you have not given up. You can’t fail if you don’t give up!!
      My unsolicited advise is:
      1. Start your own Topic. Or,
      2. Go to “Where to?” above and scroll down to “Site wide activity”. You’ll see the people currently posting and active on the Forums… one is me, as I try to encourage folks (part of my self inflicted therapy, helping others helps me a lot!) That way you can jump right in and be a part. I think it REALLY helps your chances of success. I know I could not have done this alone.
      3. If you “resonate” with someone’s post, tap on their screen name to go to their profile page and Friend them and/or leave them a Private message. (You are already my Friend😁!) Let me know if you get this message suz! Onward. Sina

  • #17782

    Participant

    I am doing the Program a 3rd time. I had tremendous results both times. But I did use the program to cut back (not abstain long term) and I did. I went from drinking on a daily basis to drinking about once a week and staying within a healthy limit.

    Lately, I have been under a lot of stress and I have turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism. Which certainly doesn’t help… because I just wake up feeling worse! I need to learn some new ways to handle overwhelm. I think it is partly about reducing stress on a daily basis so it doesn’t build up and having a new way to cope when overwhelm hits.

    I own a company and I have been working about 16 hours a day for months. The work gives me a vital purpose and positive focus which helped me to easily let go of alcohol.

    But I can see I have pushed myself too far. And I wound up drinking in response. I am going to rest today and start with Day 1 again tomorrow!

    • #17783

      Participant

      Welcome back @successgirl! It’s never too late to get re inspired! Think about starting your own Topics in each Solution, or respond to a fairly current Topic ….That way your posts will be more likely to be seen by folks currently active on the Forums. You can also tap in “site wide activity ” under the “Where to?”
      Onward! Sina

  • #17800

    Participant

    Hi guys, is anyone still out there? Most of the posts are from last year. I am not sure how many people still check this forum.

    • #17801

      Participant

      Hi @yulz! Yes, there is still life on these Forums! I’m working on getting a little TLC to this Companion Website asap. So hang in! Here are a few tips to help you get the most out of the Companion Website Forums as you do the Action Steps of the 30DSS….
      1. Check out “Site wide activity” under “Where to?” above.
      2. Under each Days Solution, tap on the most current Topic.
      3. Start your own Topics.
      This way you’ll see the current active participants. I’m here to give you more tips and answer questions.
      This book/program is one of the best out there IMO!
      WELCOME TO THE SOBER COASTER! Sina

    • #17931

      Participant

      Hi just started today very new to this obviously, good to know there are people active. Have a great day everyone.

  • #17915

    Participant

    Well here I am Day 1.Today I pulled out the old rusty nail of addiction. Today I will start the process of mindful recovery. I understand that the old rusty nail has been buried in me for some time — along time. It will take time, patience and discipline to clean up and cure me of the infection that the old rusty nail of addiction has caused in my life and the lives of the people that I love and that love me.

  • #18192

    Participant

    Hi! I’m just starting this program. I have tried this before and was pretty succeful and found the underlying issue of my drinking- social anxiety. Whenever I am sober I feel very uncomfortable in social situations. So I am wondering if I have this issue will I be able to quit? Or should I resolve this issue first?

  • #18507

    Participant

    This is my first day. Day 1 of no drinking and I’m in bed and did it. I just went to the Dr. 3 weeks ago and she agreed that I should try to quit. I’m going cold turkey and right now I feel fine. Will I be okay going cold turkey??

    • #18510

      Participant

      Congrats on quitting! May people do go cold turkey. Personally, I went cold turkey. However, when I was drinking heavily, some weeks, I wasn’t an everyday drinker. Here and there I would go 2-4 days with no alcohol. I figured if I was able to go a couple of days without alcohol during my heavy drinking, I wasn’t going to have any seizures or anything. And I didn’t. I had other side effects like headaches, tingling, crying, and other anxiety symptoms. Sleeping problems were actually the impetus for my quitting, and they were way worse that first week as well, but now so much better. In the end, whatever I say can’t be substituted for medical advice. Good luck!

      ~ Aspiring Reformed Party Girl
      Day 29 Sober / Day 5 Program

  • #19035

    Participant

    Hello, I must say that I am a bit scared but very happy to be here at the same time. My “day one” starts on Wednesday.

    • #19055

      Participant

      Christenej,

      Indeed you are scared and believe me we all are. I am back doing this again after not drinking for 16 months then starting during/after an island vacation about 6 weeks ago. I reviewed my notes from first time around and I WAS SCARED. Now I will do this again, and again if necessary. You can and will do this. We must be single-minded = 100%, 30 days. Tell someone you are not drinking for a month. Learn tapping CH13, however it works for you to change your thoughts. Get a lot of flavored seltzer water and start drinking them a little before your normal indulgence time. Be of good cheer – Many are with you on this journey:) God bless you.

      • #19058

        Participant

        Thank you so very much for your encouraging words!! Its now been four days and I’m doing 100%!!

        • #19093

          Participant

          Day by day you are feeling stronger. You are on a gradual, steady, persistent path to clarity. Focus on the good. You are taking positive steps in your life and that feels good. Encourage someone and you will be encouraged. Have a blessed day:)

  • #19180

    Participant

    Hi P – how are you doing?

  • #19191

    Participant

    I remember reading the answer to my question but can’t remember where….. I’m on day 20 at 100% but got behind in the reading…I’ve noticed that my daily email messages have stopped. How do I get them to start back on day 15 (the last one I received was day 14)?

  • #19476

    Participant

    Is there a way to see if someone is online and is there the ability to chat? I will read all the guidelines soon. Trying to get up to speed quickly as this is day one. Thanks!

  • #19487

    Participant

    Starting. I’m flawed and hoping this makes me a better man.

  • #19743

    Participant

    HI everyone,

    Just starting this journey. I’ve had this audio book for months but I guess I wasn’t ready. I really want to heal and be sober. Started therapy for depression recently too. Hopefully healing depressions will help my sobriety. Is this a very active community?

    Any advice is welcome – going in for the deep dive.

    Pxichik

  • #19752

    Participant

    Along with the promotion of “One Belt, One Road” construction, the process of urbanization is accelerated, and the construction waste has become a stumbling block to the rapid development of the city. Drop the construction waste carelessly will not only affect the appearance of the city but also cause serious damage to the atmosphere, rivers and human health.
    Nowadays, people have changed the concept of construction waste, and began to realize the value of recycling construction waste, and find ways to improve the comprehensive utilization rate of construction waste.
    At present, the most commonly used method to realize the construction waste recycling is to process the construction waste into finished recycled aggregate through the steps of crushing and grinding, and then apply it to various industrial fields such as construction, building materials, roads and railways, this approach can not only reduce the hazards of construction waste, but also provide more environmentally friendly renewable materials for the development and construction of the city.
    The construction waste crusher developed by SBM Machinery is a specialized equipment for the crushing of construction waste. It set the crushing, screening, transportation and other functions in one, can be combined into a construction waste crushing production line, it is full-featured and favored by the market.
    In addition, compared with other construction waste crushing equipment, this mobile crusher is uniquely flexible, it can not only reduce the damage to the road, but also lower the cost of transportation, fully meet the requirement of the processing factory for cost and efficiency.
    With the accelerated pace of infrastructure construction and the increased voices of environmental protection, the demand for SBM mobile crusher is greater. Today, this construction waste crusher is not only successfully purchased by many domestic processing plants, but also exported to many countries along the “Belt and Road”. According to many clients of SBM Machinery, SBM mobile crushing plant not only realized the resource utilization of construction waste effectively, but also created considerable economic benefits for their company. What’s more, the advantage of zero dust, zero noise of this device caused attention by this industry.
    With the continuous reduction of natural sand reserves, the demand for construction sand has risen obviously, which also puts forward higher requirements for the resource utilization of construction waste.

  • #19797

    Participant

    My book was delivered today. I was glad to learn there was a website. With New Years Eve a just few days aheas I plan to stop drinking on Monday and will start day one at the same time. I’m going to lunch with my boyfriend today and am planning to tell him about it. My hope is he will want to join me. That would be helpful but it’s up to him. I’ve just become a heavy drinker in my 40’s. I’ve never really attempted to stop before. A little scared but I’m not sure of what. Thank you.

    • #19802

      Participant

      Hey @blondie! Welcome aboard the Sober Coaster a wild ride well worth the price of admission! Don’t be scared! Be excited!
      Onward! Sina

  • #19892

    Participant

    I have chosen to do the program for 90 days to be sure that i abstain from any alcohol for as long as i can since i am 100% committed. hoping to not have any serious craving after the program at all

  • #19893

    Participant

    I have chosen to do the program for 90 days to be sure that i abstain from any alcohol for as long as i can since i am 100% committed. hoping to not have any serious craving after the program at all.
    strangly , its been three days and i dont feel any urge to drink

  • #20015

    Participant

    Just starting Day 2. About to write a vision statement. Nervous because I have always failed in the past. This program looks like it will work, if I work it.

  • #20031

    Participant

    Day 1, excited to move forward with my life. Alcohol has really damaged some relationships in my life, I can abstain, but once I start, it continues heavily. Looking forward to taking responsibility for the damage I have created with alcohol and ensuring that my future is brighter than ever.

  • #20084

    Participant

    Am stuck on Day 1 of the solutions (x3days now) and am glad to finally find the online group of people that are also just getting started or struggling. I looked at many of the other posts (Vision statements) and simply felt defeated. I am going to try and do the work of day 1 today and get on to day 2! I have a high stress job and noticed yesterday how many times I thought about coming home to a glass of wine to get rid of the stress…ashamed to say that’s exactly what I did but at least it was only one glass…normally it would have been several. Hoping I can do this….hoping…

    • #20095

      Participant

      Hi @suru . Don’t give up before you even start!
      I too had several weeks of false starts…the sloppy handwriting in my Journal attested to this! I was able to FINALLY commit 100% and then it becomes much easier and Yes…Fun.
      It’s a Journey. There will be ups and downs, and if you do not give up you cannot help but succeed! Fill your heart, mind, and consciousness with Sobriety related materials and reading. The Internet is an amazing resource.
      Keep posting for plenty of support!
      Onward Fellow Sobriety Seeker, Sina

  • #20242

    Participant

    I am in love with 30 days thriving in sobriety solution.it’s actually, my 6th day since I started this program and I am sober for 8 days.
    My mission statement is as follows
    I wake up every morning with joyful and energetic body, loving and compassionate heart and alert mind
    I love the money I saved from being sober.
    Any feedback is really appreciated.
    Love

  • #20288

    Participant

    Day 1 for the third time. Ugh. I feel hopeless and hungover today. I don’t even remember getting home last night. (At least it as in a taxi). I usually drink myself through a hangover. Yep, stay drunk all day the next day. It is distguising. I have to stay sober or I am going to end up a loser. I am 100% committing to sobriety for at least lent and hope this sticks for good. I am not a casual drinker I have to quit entirely to survive. I come from an alcoholic family. I want and deserve better for myself. I am also married to my biggest drinking buddy… he is doing a sober lent with me. But he plans to have that cocktail on Easter and restart drinking after the break. I don’t want to touch another drop of booze.

  • #20519

    Participant

    I’d love to get the daily emails!

  • #20623

    Participant

    Hi starting day one today and I also tried AA but felt overwhelmed in having to go to a meeting everyday as that program recommends

  • #120869

    Participant

    day 1 for me today. I’m only 30 and already have so much shame. I am scared to fail, scared that I will not be OK in the long run.

    • #120911

      Participant

      Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

      If these words resonate with you, you realize God is knocking on the door of your soul. Answer it. Don’t ignore Him. You have guilt and shame because the Bible says everyone has sinned and fallen short of God’s plan. But God loves you so much he came to died in your place so that your sin and guilt may be forgiven, and you can be reconciled to Him and have peace.

      Now, get a Bible and some flavored fizzy water. Crack open a can/bottle and open to the Book of John – and read. Things are about to get really good for you. God loves you.

    • #120913

      Participant

      I feel you! When I first came across the book, after 12 days of sobriety, I faltered. Day one lasted a long time for me (just one more… add whatever fun, delicious, alcoholic moment you desire), the 100% was hard to attain, I was stagnant. But now I am half way through on day 15! Yeah me!! You are not far behind me, it is quicker than you think once you move forward. You can do this!!! The hardest part for me to grasp was the 100% I knew that if I started it would likely be forever (dreaded word) and I faltered over giving it up because I secretly (even to myself) feared that this might work. I did “get it” around day 7. A hard one because I hadn’t picked a day yet to quit, even though I had been sober for a week, I knew that I had to find a day to commit in the first week and that worried me. Never to drink again, AAACCCKKK! But then I just realized I was 1/4 of the way in and I had momentum and I agreed to myself (no one here but me) to commit to the 30 days and the 100% came into focus, it has been easy ever since. I can do anything for 30 days, and so can you! And do it now before you are 53 and still struggling with it like I am. The last 23 years are a blur, it goes by so fast, now I am just trying to get another 20 out of this ruined body and the only way to do that is this. Good luck my friend!

  • #121138

    Participant

    Doesn’t appear to be much activity here..I just purchased the book and have begun reading it…I have been drinking for a long time and it has increased over the years…I used to function well but know that isn’t quite the case anymore…I have tried so many methods through the years to no avail…last one I tried was 7 weeks to sobriety…worked for about three weeks and then not….couple of questions

    1. How do you determine the best completion time..30, 60, 90 days?…do you base thisx on how long you have been drinking?

    2. Are there supplements I should or could take to keep from getting “the shakes” etc dud to not having a drink?

    Thanks.

    • #121168

      Participant

      William, you are probably farther advanced now, as I have been off-line for a week, and your answers may have already come from reading further. However, if you still wonder, I think the timeline is based on your time available to do this work and all the action steps. The book is not just a read through. And then there’s all the extra content on the web here. As far as supplements they recommend some in one of the first week chapters. I’m not sure if they are for shaking due to lack of alcohol in your system. I think that may be something you need to check with your Dr. about, as it may be a withdrawal symptom, and may need another course of action than cold turkey. They talk about this in the book too. Good journey to you, you are worth it! 🙂

  • #121180

    Participant

    thank you very much.

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  • #121297

    Participant

    Day 1 here and not sure how these forums work. Seems like some old posts are on top. Anyway, lets do this!

    • #121512

      Participant

      Hi @sobergirl. I tried to tag you. It didnt work! See my message below! Onward!

  • #121426

    Participant

    Hi all. I’m new! I’m on Day 6. I’m a binge drinker. Its hard to find info about binge drinking so if anyone has any helpful info don’t be shy to pass it on to me. We can all do this! Good luck.

    • #121475

      Participant

      Voices crying in the wilderness,
      People will tell you how to be free when they themselves are slaves to corruption. I tell you the truth, God loves you. His son, Jesus, died for your sins. You can receive forgiveness and newness of life. Wholeheartedly, ask Him to save you. He is faithful. God bless you:)

    • #121514

      Participant

      Hi @WendyT Take a look at the post I made below trying to tag others who are new to this thread/site.
      Never give up! Never surrender!
      Onward!

  • #121473

    Participant

    Hi
    Ive just purchased the audible book and finished chapter 1. Am deciding whether to start the no drinking on Jan 1 or at the end of Jan when I go back to work. Is the invitation only support group open to everyone or is this forum the best method of communication?
    Thanks!

    • #121513

      Participant

      Welcome @simone43 .The best time to start is NOW. It’s all we have.
      Scroll down to see the post I tried to tag you in. Also I have another Facebook group which is “Secret ” should you wish for more support.
      Onward!

      • #121654

        Participant

        Hi Sinaqueena,

        I’ve been following your posts. I am on Day 6 of the program and 12 days sober. How do I find info about your secret Facebook page?

        Thanks!

        • #121667

          Participant

          Hi @pm090349 . I left you a message on your Profile page.
          Onward! Sina

  • #121506

    Participant

    Hello Everyone, I just read a number of comments in this thread, but definitely not all. First I want to let you know that I am doing the program for a second time. I am on day 29 and have been sober the whole time and I’m veryproud of that. I’ve been going through the exercises more slowly and trying to get as much as possible out of them, which I didn’t really do the first time. So I’m only on day 16 of the program. Things feel different this time, partly because I have a clearer idea of what is at stake since I am at a major shift inm my life: turned 70, am dealing with my son’s suicide, stopped working and moved. I have the support of doing this with my husband though he isn’t doing the program. My other child is really concerned about my health and also strongly supports me. My first time around I made it through the 30 days but then started drinking again and was quickly in the same old pattern and feeling terrible every day. Somehow this makes the alternatives to the drinking me and the sober me more striking. I think I may be able to continue being sober but if not, I will go back to the program again. One thing I learned from a little booklet when I was trying to quit smoking over a period of years, was that everytime you quit, however briefly, you learn something that will eventually help you quit. After countless attempts, when I finally quit smoking for good, about 30 years ago, it was a piece of cake. I hope that little piece of advice will be useful to someone else. I wish us all the best!

    • #121511

      Participant

      Hi Friends
      @SoberGirl6181
      @WendyT
      @simone43
      @beckyleese
      The Companion Website Forums do not work as they were intended.
      The best way to make sure that your posts are shared with folks currently working the Solutions is to 1. Go to “Site Wide Activity ”
      2. Post on a topic already active there. One is under Day 1. “Getting Started” by Daniel.
      3. Start your own Topic for whatever Day’s Solution you are working on.
      Let me know if you need help! I am happy to!
      Onward! Sina

  • #121981

    Participant

    Hi, I’m a little confused. I tried 3 different modes of trying to access support through this website but it says that you don’t use this support system anymore. I wanted to ask why I’ve registered for the daily email both 2 days ago and again yesterday and received no emails at all yet and I’m on day 3.
    Please can you help? Thank you.

    • #121982

      Participant

      Hey there! First and foremost.. congratulations! Second… this site that helped so many of us is no longer moderated. I wish they’d just send people to other places instead of doing nothing!
      Anyway, your message showed up in my mail box so you are not alone! Contact sinaqueena on here and she will lead you to a closed Facebook group. If you can’t locate her… post here, again and I’ll stay with you until we find her!! This is the only thread I’m following so I won’t receive your message if you post to another one…
      Christene

  • #5528

    Thanks for asking. Right now, the profiles on the site are pretty basic so there is not to much to add. Because you registered, you already have a profile. You can add a picture to your profile to make it more personal.

    If you click the tab, YOUR COMMUNITY, above and select MY PROFILE, you should see the blue and white image above your name. To add your picture, look to the bottom right and you should see, CHANGE PROFILE PHOTO. Select this and then upload a picture that you would like to use.

    If you would like to post a personal update that shows up under your picture to everyone, select PROFILE (if you need to get back to your profile page) and then look below your picture and select ACTIVITY. A box will then pop up below that says, WHAT’S NEW, and you can post an update.

    If that does not solve the problem, select the CONTACT US tab above and select YOUR 30 DAY SUPPORT PORTAL and email support for help.

    Hope that helps!
    All the best,
    Anya

  • #10466

    Participant

    Welcome inventyourself. I just “finished” the 30 Day Sobriety Solution. In 30 days. But I have not done anywhere near all the Solutions. Lots of writing and soul searching is involved. I’ve come to realize the 30 days is just a starter for me. I plan on starting over again for 90 days right away. If you have time and motivation, you could opt for 30 days, but if you are pressed for time, I would opt for 60 or 90. Or you could do what I did, do 30 for taking notes, learning and getting sober, and checking out the Companion website, (which can suck you in for hours), and then repeat to get the most out of the program in terms of personal growth…and for mentoring others. No matter which time frame you choose, you can’t lose, except to lose dependency on drinking to have fun this summer! Sina

  • #10866

    Participant

    I am on day 28 of the program and 29 days sober and I have struggled a bit over the past weeks, last night too, I would have liked a drink but managed to find something better to do. I live alone so I cooked meals for the freezer. Loneliness is big for me after the death of my husband only three months ago. I opted for 30 days but in retrospect like you, I think 60 would have been better, on the days that were busy, I didn’t give anywhere near enough depth to journalling or doing the steps. When I have completed the 30 days I plan to take one day reviewing everything I wrote in my journal, adding further thoughts, and then I will start again at day one, stopping and spending more time on those days I think need more of my soul searching.It is such a worthwhile journey even though it sure takes courage.

  • #10869

    Participant

    Hi aussiebattler, I’m still hanging in. Still alcohol free since end of March. I feel much better. I have stresses in my current life but nowhere near what you are dealing with daily now. My hat is off to you! I am still working on my Solutions, but really taking my time, partly because I’ve become addicted to reading posts here and on the other site I’m on (which I’ll try to get a link for you tomorrow). It’s REALLY been helpful for me to have the friends I’m getting to care about on these sites. I consider you one and I care about you. Talk soon, Sina

  • #10898

    Participant

    Thanks Sina, got the link and have joined the site. Week 4 starts today.

  • #17460

    Participant

    Welcome soccermom. You have a tough BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE task. I’ll pm you…tap on your screen name and you’ll be on the profile page.
    Onward, Sina

  • #18189

    Participant

    I am on day 3 of my recovery. Like many of you I too can go periods of time without drinking but when I start I cant stop. I have a strong family hx of alcoholism, both mother and father died before age of 60. In my heart I know I should not drink, cant drink, but denial is the hallmark the problem. I am a secret drinker, prefer to drink alone. In secret. Not a partyer. But the day has come. Today I will do the work. I will not lie to myself. I will not try to convince myself that I really dont have a problem. I want to help make a network of online friends to remind all of us that life can be good without alcohol.

  • #20094

    Participant

    Hi Madame. Start on Day 1 of the Solutions. They build on each other. 30 days is beside the point as , if you read the intro, you can choose to do the Program in 30, 60, or 90 days. Keep posting and ask questions!
    Onward Fellow Sobriety Seeker. Sina

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