I saw Jack Canfield today! :)

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Participant
7 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #120937

    Participant

    So I am on day 7 and still on track. I went to the One Day of Greatness Seminar by Jack Canfield today. It was really cool. We did an exercise that provided me with a breakthrough. It was a much more involved exercise than I am describing here but I will simplify it to get my point across. So, we imagined our biggest obstacle in life (guess what mine is!), then relaxed our bodies (closed eyes and deep breathing) and the once relaxed, scanned our bodies for pain. I found my pain, which is ALWAYS in a triangle in my neck. Then we were instructed to go back in time to a time where the place and time that we first felt that pain.

    OMG!

    I was instantly a 19 year old child. I was in my home sitting in one one my big fuzzy red chairs. I had just been in an accident and I asked my mom to come over to be with me in my injury. Mom had sold our family home and I had to move out at this young age and mom forced me (I was a kid and never said no to mom!) to take my cousin who was a deadbeat and ended up not paying her half of the bills. I was so stressed out and so young and was completely on my own for the first time paying bills, working full time, going to college full time and also supporting this deadbeat. I also remembered that at that time I knew that my high school love was not “the One” and we were on the verge of splitting up after years together and I had just lost a baby in the accident too (that mom never even knew about). So here I am today, mentally transformed back to that intense moment of pain, and tears rolled down my face. It was SO many adult problems all at once and I felt NO love, NO support and NO stability. I needed my mom to love me, nurture me and have sympathy not only for my injury but for my situation too. Don’t get me wrong…my mom loves me BUT she is just not a loving or nurturing woman. It is just not in her nature. And I needed someone at that time to love me the way I needed to be loved. It dawned on me today during this moment that it is not my moms fault that she did not love me the way I needed to be loved. She did not know how. She loved me that way she knew how to love me. It was a positive experience to forgive my mom for something she did not even know she did wrong today and that I have held onto as physical pain in my body for 20 years now…
    I am just hoping and dreaming I can begin finish letting go and eventually be painfree…

    Anyway, I got so excited about this breakthrough, so the first thing I thought when I walked out of the seminar was… I should celebrate with a martini! I am finally haven breakthroughs about why my drinking is so bad!

    LOL!

    I obviously did not give in but I did see this thought and felt like an outside observer and laughed at it. It is fascinating how my subconscious mind goes right back to booze to cope and/or celebrate.
    I don’t need booze to continue to mask my issues that I need to observe and uncover and sort through. I am sure there are more layers down there to uncover that are keeping me from living my highest purpose and keeping this pain in my neck too. I will stay strong as I am sure there is more to come. It is not going to be easy but it is going to be worth it.

  • #120938

    Participant

    Hi wellness432 … Wow, your post was so heartfelt! I really think I understand, too. The pain. Are we all trying to mask pain? This human condition of ours. We probably all have some amount of pain.
    Jack Canfield seems to really be helping. Thank goodness for his insights.
    Yesterday, I was sort of looking back at my pain. Just the dailiness of it. And I said to myself “No wonder I drank”. But I don’t think we are supposed to mask it.
    “My Grace is sufficient” says God. I honestly think we are to rely on our relationship with God. Not booze.
    This has been a very dry year, thanks to this program!!

  • #120940

    Participant

    Hi wellness432,

    Great post! I had one similar, but I was much younger, related to procrastination and all the should of’s I put on myself. It was eye opening as well. My mom had asked me to clean my room and, as usual, I got caught up in a book instead of putting it away. (I still do the same thing today, reading some stray thing instead of getting to the work I’m supposed to do.) Later she came back and, finding my room still a mess, hit me about the head and shoulders. I think this was a regular occurrence as I had ADD and she had anger issues. So now when I look at stuff that needs to be done and I just want to read a book, I have to drink to sit still and just do nothing about anything. So nothing gets done and I don’t even get to read that book because a tv show is all my drunken self can focus on (and I never remember the ending of a movie). During the meditation of the chapter I felt the procrastination in my neck and shoulders and remembered the scenario. I hope I can over come that one. I really like the saying “What needs to be done in the next 3 minutes.” Glad you are here wellness432!

  • #120943

    Participant

    Hi, wellness432!

    I, too, was at the same One Day to Greatness! Wasn’t it wonderful??!! Just to let you know that you aren’t alone, I had almost the same memory as you. And it was that what I wanted from my dad was love and encouragement, and I felt unloved and discouraged. As my grown self, I realized that my dad was showing me love by trying to make me strong and independent but at 4 years old, I could not understand that. It was very freeing to have that realization. Wishing you the very best through your journey!

    P.S. I’m still working diligently on figuring out my purpose!

  • #120950

    Participant

    Wow @wellness432!! Your post is powerful. It’s also true for me that a knee jerk reaction can occur when it’s time to celebrate! I keep in mind that it is not ALL my doing…. Society has programmed us to be mindless consumers and this goes especially for Alcohol… one of the current opiates of the masses. Congratulations on your continuing Sobriety!
    ONWARD. Sina

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