I'm new here…Is anyone else starting soon?

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3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #119374

    Participant

    I plan on starting Sunday or Monday at the latest (I’d prefer Sunday)
    Anyone else new here? Maybe we can make a go of it together and help each other with navigating in the community and site?
    Thanks 🙂

  • #119376

    Participant

    Hi @mishelle
    There are several people starting right now. Me, Molly & a couple others. Sinaqueena also weighs in regularly.
    I’m on Night 8. Starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Depending on how much you were drinking, the 1st week will be exhausting. I recommend that you get all your supplements ready for Sunday. Try to get GABA, L-Glutamine, L-Tyrosine, D3 drops, B1 pills, GLA & DHA plus a multivitamin. Magnesium drinks help with anxiety too, as do Epsom salt baths. If you are concerned about your liver, drink San Pellegrino as it has a high Sulphur content & add bee pollen to your yogurt. Both aid the liver in repairing itself. Take it easy the first week. You probably need naps but after the 1st week, your energy starts to improve.

    • #119703

      I am Sober 18 days but I am on Day 12 of the exercises. I work on them every day but I want to be Thorough and may spend a couple of days working on the exercises for the day. I go to AA and have been for a year and a half 3 to 4 days a week non stop since then. This program is so much more comprehensible then following the steps and the big book of AA. I am so motivated and am learning so much about myself and how to deal with my constant anxiety that caused me to drink in the first place. I am so excited to find this CD then I bought the book and have the web site. This is exactly what I needed. Structure, taking action every day in self improvement and Sobriety. I thank God for finding this program and will work on it every day even after the 30 days. This is a lifetime commitment for me because I am an alcoholic. I tried controlled drinking but it causes cravings that make me drink again. I am Sober again and will thrive in sobriety.

  • #119390

    Participant

    I just got the book yesterday and plan to do the first chapter later this evening. Won’t lie, I’m very very nervous about looking ahead at a life without alcohol 😯

  • #119391

    Participant

    Just tagging this newbie thread

  • #119392

    Participant

    I’ve been putting L-glutamine into my morning smoothie for several months now. J. J. Virgin, a great nutritionist I caught on PBS several years ago, mentioned in one of her videos that this supplement helps reduce cravings. I’ll definitely put San Pellegrino on my grocery list, too. That’s interesting about the sulphur, karakucha. I haven’t heard of that yet. I’ll keep a couple bottles in the fridge so it’s nice and cold!

    • #119394

      Participant

      @katballou – I read about it in a Liver Detox book I got by Christopher Vasey. Sulphur stimulates the production of bile, activates liver enzymes & neutralizes heavy metals & oxygenates the liver.

  • #119414

    Participant

    Hi New Folks. Day 21 but no supplements and tons of support. Take that 100% stuff seriously. Be 100% committed to just Not Drinking. Then start the program.

  • #119492

    Participant

    I’m picking a day to start this week. I’m heading out today to get some supplements. I’d love to know if anyone else is starting and maybe we can begin same day?

    • #119494

      Participant

      Welcome @lanie79 . I am eight days sober now, and feeling much stronger since past day 6 or so. I’m a busy mom of five kids and its school holidays for us, so i haven’t worked through the solutions as quickly as i hoped. I am doing the activity part for day three right now. I’m OK with that tho, as i know typically when i rush through stuff it doesn’t stick with me like it should. Weekends are definitely hard for me so i want to make sure I get through at least a couple more chapters before this coming weekend. Hope you are feeling strong with your start – let us know when you do. All the best.

  • #119501

    Participant

    Okay! Finally did the time travel technique (yikes), I think I’m off to a good start!
    Let’s keep in touch!

  • #119504

    Participant

    Doesn’t the Time Travel Technique really hit home?! I’m 63 years old, so it created a very clear picture in my mind of the near future for me. Two very different destinies! Have a Healthy & Happy day today. You’re doing great!

  • #119519

    Participant

    I’m soon going to be 60 and drinking is unhealthy for me, trying to stop is very difficult. I’m trying again starting today.

  • #119520

    Participant

    Hi cruisinthrulife58 … You’re already doing well by becoming aware that you need to grab this bull by the horns. Stay very hydrated! Eat regularly to keep blood sugar stable. Pray for strength. Do the Solutions. You’ll be amazed at how well they work. You’ll get there! My best, -K

  • #119521

    Participant

    Ya! Hang in there. Personally I would find that in the earlier part of the day I’d be like “no way am I drinking tonight” Then…evening rolls around and I find myself purchasing alcohol to drink :(. Stay strong and determined, do the time travellers technique, re-read what you wrote, write your reasons to quit and abstain. There’s sleepy time teas and things like that out there too if that helps…We’re all in this together 😉

  • #119529

    Participant

    Hi everybody – sorry I haven’t posted in a few days. Been sick with a fever & migraine.
    So glad to see a thread that isn’t actually spam. They really need a spam filter plugin… Just sayin’
    Happy that you are staying strong Mishelle & welcome other new people 🙂

  • #119539

    Participant

    Hey everyone! I’m going to wish you a great week abstaining 🙂 staying strong
    I’m out of town and away from all tech for a week or so, I’ll be sure to check in when I get back.
    I hope everyone keeps posting and sharing, if you’re new don’t be shy to hop in 🙂
    “The strongest force in the universe is a human being living consistently with his identity.”

  • #119544

    Participant

    Enjoy your week away @mishelle. I have been doing ok this week. got friends coming on saturday so i will need all my strength to resist the old habit, but i feel confident. Struggling to find time to do the solutions in the holiday – but I’m thinking through stuff even if its not getting written down at this point. I’m day 12 since I had a drink. So grateful. All the best to you all.

  • #119545

    Participant

    @narunner – I say from experience that before such an event be on guard. Don’t go in there thinking “you got this” – read the social solutions & your before you & after you. If not, you may forget and say yes to someone offering you a drink and then we all know, one drinks leads to another, another, another & six months go by before you pick this book up again…

  • #119548

    Participant

    I agree with karakucha! Stay on guard. Remember your commitment. You’ll be so glad you stuck with your commitment, once you do. And you will have strengthened your self-control. I have a social event coming next month, and I’m already getting ready in my mind. I don’t want to sit there and drink more than I should, so I may bring my own little cooler to have at my fingertips with a few non-alc drinks for myself.

  • #119564

    Participant

    @katballou
    Funny you should mention your little cooler. A while back, perhaps when I did this the 1st time, I went to a going away party of one of the most out of control persons I “knew” here in LA. My contribution was a case of diet Red Bull, as I was attending sober, despite a few boozy nights with this person. When I showed up to her apartment (I hadn’t see her in a while as I considered her a bad influence) she thanked me profusely for the Red Bull. Turns out, she was clean & sober and everyone else brought wine & other liquors and I was the only one who brought non-alcoholic (but fun) beverages. So @narunner – prep something like Red Bull or something fun but non-alcoholic for your peeps. They may be thankful. If not, you will.

    • #119688

      Participant

      I’m new and on day 2 of book but I’m actually on day 10 of no alcohol. (I’ve been to day 9 three times in the past month or so) I’ve been a drinker since my teens but it’s just been the last 3 Year’s that I started drinking a lot more. I second @mishelle with waking up and thinking “not drinking anymore” and by 5:00 saying “don’t mind if I do!” and a fix a drink. I’m a wife, mother of 4 and dog owner of 2 GSP’s.
      Right now, I tell myself i’m Taking a break cuz forever depresses the shit out of me. I’ve been reading memoirs from other heavy drinkers that quit. I drink loads of water and eat licorice to keep my hands busy at the “drinking hour”. I’ve tried a few brands of sparkling water for non-alcoholic drink which I don’t really like but i’d Love to hear other suggestions of drinks people enjoy. I don’t take any supplements or medications. I’m following steps and really pray I find my purpose because I feel like i’ve Been floating thru life doing what needs done while wondering “what’s really the point in being here?”

  • #119625

    Participant

    Exactly, karakucha! Today is day 23 for me, and I attribute a lot of my success to having non-alc drinks on hand which do the trick for me. I really like Bai Bubbles Sparkling drinks and lightly flavored seltzers. I think a lot of our desire to drink stems from simply being thirsty! Once hydrated, everything changes chemically within us. That’s a great thing to learn and keep in mind for all of us trying to cut back or abstain from alc. The new habits might be easier to ingrain in us than we think! I believe every day we honor our commitment to this, our self-control strengthens. Keep going, everyone. You’re doing great!!

  • #119647

    Participant

    Hi everyone, Since I do not know who or if anyone will read this, I want you to understand I have never done this program before. I am on day one. I have 2 days of sobriety starting into this program. I am happy to be here just writing anything that comes to mind. I feel fortunate that I still have a mind. I could have easily died or incapacitated myself a few times over the past 50+ years of near daily drinking. I am fortunate in that I do not have withdrawal symptoms beyond mild stomach cramps as I detox. I have detoxed a handful of times and I am 100 percent committed to making this be my last time. My last detox was in late April 2018 (this year) and I stayed sober for 29 days and said “what the heck – I’ll just have a bourbon and coke and reward myself.” That kind of reward is potentially lethal. Even though I have been a functionally drinker, I know something will eventually collapse and the cards will come falling down. I realize now that I cannot keep playing with fire. If I keep drinking, I will be like the crazy guy who thought he was invincible and that he could survive jumping off the Empire State Building. He went to the top and jumped. He waved and shouted to the people peering out of the windows as he descended floor by floor, “so far – so good”. How do you think that ended? Better question is “how do I think I will end”?
    This is my beginning. It doesn’t have to have a tragic end or a devastating middle. I will journal everyday as instructed. I will return here to dash off more if anyone wishes so.

  • #119683

    Participant

    @david welcome to the website, and you’re right – a drink is no way to reward yourself! Some on here talk of putting your money that you save into a jar for a treat after a set time period, so maybe take yourself to a movie, or buy something you’ve been longing for. @karakucha and @katballou thanks for your support and input. I survived the weekend just fine, we were hosting, so keeping busy was a good thing. I have NO DESIRE to return to my old wrecked self and I often visualise the time travel images that I experienced, I know my inner being is determined, its the superficial habits and situations that feel like they’ll catch me out – so being on guard is key. I am day 16 now, and truly grateful. Can anyone help with boredom tho. I am feeling bored myself and worry that I appear boring to others, because I am not my old noisy self. Also, being a stay at home mom in the school holiday I feel like I am buried under housework and kids and no ray of sunshine to boost my energy. Last night I very nearly asked hubby to get me a drink just because I wanted a chance to relax and disconnect from the day … I didnt, and he is so supportive he helped me to resist, but I really felt like I needed to take a happy trip for half an hour, just to unwind. Any tips would be appreciated. @mishelle also thinking of you and hope you’re doing good with this program – send us an update! Thx. All.

    • #119700

      Participant

      @narunner & @katballou – Back when I did the 30 day program the 1st 2 times it was the dread of boredom that plagued me the most. This time around, as I am a veteran of quitting, I go this through that boredom panic less often. The 1st week, of course, I am always so exhausted that I have no time to get bored. Once the withdrawals subside I find I am up easily passed 11 pm & somehow filled all the hours I dreaded to live because of loneliness and then it seems wonderful that I now have 1/3 extra of a precious day that I had been wasting passing out. You’ll soon rediscover things to do – we were just suffering from booze amnesia – life in the modern world offers many boredom cures and it doesn’t have to be exercise (even if exercising is what I should be doing)…

  • #119685

    Participant

    Hi david and narunner … Wow, once again I see myself in your posts. Amazing. I would say to david, welcome, and feel confident that this program works. I started last 12/31/17 and am on my 3rd 30-day commitment. Tried the moderation thing and saw clearly that it doesn’t take long for me to start falling down the rabbit hole once again. So, today is day 25 and I probably look 5 years younger. My self-control is strengthening, etc.
    And to narunner … I can understand the “boredom” thing. I’m sure most of us can! Stress and boredom … things of which to be on guard. They both seem to pass if you/we can wait them out. Haven’t seen @sinaqueena post for a while, but if you could read her posts, she posted an interesting video a couple of months ago equating these feelings with riding a wave. I’ll try to look for it later, and if I find it I’ll let you know where it is. Have a great day! -K

  • #119687

    Participant

    Hello! I am brand new here. I have tried for a week to get registered & get on here. I just started ready the book and am on the first Phase/(Chapter). I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing yet, but know that I need to make a change & hope that this is what I need to make it stick. I’d love to hear some tips/tricks/advice for this newbie if anyone has time. Hope everyone has a great day! Thanks!

    • #119690

      Participant

      @csunshine Great idea to post and ask for help – i really hope this thread can keep us all afloat aboard the sober boat!!!! I’m inspired to read posts from other people struggling with the same demon cos in real life its something i hardly dare to mention!! My advice is to read the book methodically and do the action items in each chapter – really do them with pen and paper, don;t kid yourself that just reading will be enough. The time travel technique is worth a listen – its the action step 5 in Day one Solution. It will help you find your vision and give you a goal to focus on. All the best on your beginning and post often to stay inspired.

      • #119691

        Participant

        @narunner Thank you! I hope so too! This is Day 2 for me of not drinking. (I last drank late Sunday, into the wee hours of Monday, so I counted Monday as Day 0). I haven’t made it past 6 days probably since I quit for my last pregnancy (he’s 5 now). I also like to read others posts. I feel I can mention more online with people that “get it” & that I resonate with. I started the book last week, but need to re-read & figure out the Action Items. All the best to you as well! I look forward to communicating with everyone.

  • #119689

    Participant

    Hi guys. Day 1 today..enjoyed time travel exercise or should ii say found it very enlightening ! Not great with techy things so struggling a bit finding my way round the site/forums etc…apologies if i pop up somewhere else…this is where i need to be..SO looking forward to this journey with you..30 year history of recurring relapses…awful !! Needs to stop.

  • #119692

    Participant

    Greetings all, I am new too. Had to smile when I read that csunshine took a week to get registered… took me some time too! Ended up having to create a brand-new email address.
    I hadn’t even thought about getting vitamins and supplements on hand… totally makes sense. What great advice.
    I ordered the book online, and it took a few days to reach me, so I’m not very far along (day 2). But I have been 8 days without alcohol. It’s hard. I’ve increased exercise but I really miss having a drink to take the edge off. One thing that I’ve been doing is making drinks with lots of ice, club soda, a splash of fruit juice… the ritual of making a drink seems to help. I’m trying to take it one day at a time. I am going to get some San Pellegrino. Had no idea that sulphur can help the liver.
    Be kind to yourself… that’s what I’m trying to do.

  • #119696

    Participant

    Lots of good posts. I doesn’t matter what day anyone is on. We are all at different stages of the program but all going through the same feelings and challenges. I made it through day 31 alcohol free today (and day 16 of the program) which is big for me. I have done 30 days on my own before but never with a serious thought that I could take it further. This program is working. I am 100% committed to following this through and being successful. Just keep doing the steps every single day. Take supplements. Bee pollen was also suggested and I started taking that again today. I used to take it as a cure for hay fever and it worked for that as well.

  • #119705

    Participant

    Congratulations, pattaya! Job well done! Good self-control! I’m on day 25-ish. I’m sure I’ve made some positive changes in my habits. Just treated myself to a warm shower, and now I look forward to spending a couple hours with my favorite books. Then a blissful night’s sleep (pretty much), then waking up fresh and enjoying my coffee as I begin a new day. Sounds right to me! We’re doing great!

  • #119707

    Participant

    Since we are talking about supplements – two weeks on Artichoke pills, then two weeks on Dandelion followed by two weeks of Black Radish (each twice a day – which reminds me, I have to go take a Dandelion pill) – also cleanse the liver & help with bile production (which is necessary for the pancreas & digestion and when you drink the liver has trouble creating enough bile).
    Anyhoo – still on the bandwagon – yay for us.
    I’ll close with a quote I read just now:
    “The is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.”
    Ella Wheeler Wilcox whoever that was.

  • #119711

    Participant

    Doing great, karakucha! “A determined soul”. I like that! Have a beautiful, healthy day today! -k

  • #119712

    Participant

    I am starting today, I read and did the first 2 days back in May but I did not commit 100%. I let that stupid voice that rationalizes alcohol back in take over. I am 100% ready now. I am so unhappy with who and how I have become. I am hoping to connect with people on here as well to have some added wisdom and support. People who understand the struggle and want to change as well. Thank you in advance for being here.

  • #119717

    Participant

    I hear you, jasstar77. Yes, making that 100% commitment seems to do the trick. On one of my reboots I said to myself that I was on an “extended time of abstinence” and only made it to two weeks. (which is not too, too bad since I was drinking most days before this program.) This time I made the commitment to 30 days, and it has made the difference.

  • #119727

    Participant

    Just checking in everyone!! hope you’re feeling strong with summer on us and the usual bbq’s and so on. Its not easy. We have a BIG family bbq this afternoon and I have to be honest I’m dreading it. I talked it over with my husband last night and my message is this…. I will be happy to shoulder the regret of turning down an alcoholic drink in return for passing on the usual regret which is to wake up sunday morning feeling rotten and full of remorse about what I did and said the night before. I am such an idiot when drunk. The flashbacks are shameful and I dread to think of the stuff i don’t even remember!!!! So!!!!….. Pushing forward with the plan. One of my strategies is to spend an hour on a FRIdAY NIGHT reading the book, as this refreshes and strengthens me for the weekend. Typically Friday night would be the time I’d be taking my first drink as we used to stay off it for the working week…..I’m feeling stronger today and going to look forward to sunday morning waking up SOBER, and calm and not regretting all the dumb stuff I would have said in front of my mother in law, had I had a drink on Saturday night!! I have 19 days of sobriety today and it is beginning to feel like a gift. thank you all so much for taking time to stop by this thread and encourage us all. You are worth the effort and I am certain that the short term pain of resisting is going to propel us all into happier orbit long term. The pendulum thing on day 4 is becoming more true for me – i have so many regrets and bad feelings of pain associated with drinking and each day and each drink i resist i am building a treasury of pleasurable feelings. Thx xx

  • #119728

    Participant

    Your post is amazing narunner. I could have written it about me. You’re doing so well! -k

  • #119729

    Participant

    Hi folks. New here too. Been trying to quit the booze for over a year. Just bought the 30-Day book and registered here. I will be starting on Monday and hoping this time it is going to work for me. This looks like a wonderful forum full of great support. I am glad to be here 🙂

  • #119730

    Participant

    Good morning everyone! Made it through Day 1 and suprisingly with no cravings just feeling grateful for making the decision to commit. It really does make a difference to make that choice first katballou. Narunner, your post is totally me! I am a completely different person when I drink and have done and said so many stupid things. I have a ton of guilt and shame about this right now I am trying to work through. I hope as I move forward I will be able to let it go and feel good about myself. I have started meditating in the mornings when I wake up to help with the anxiety I have had all day everyday most of my life. That is always a trigger for me, it feels pretty good. I really want a different life and to be a different person. I have so many dreams that I have let die because of drinking. Have a wonderful day everybody, and thanks for being here!

  • #119733

    Participant

    Hi everyone 🙂 I’m back from my week away and am SO happy to see there are more of us on here now supporting each other! As I’ve had no tech I’ve not really been following the book (that’s my excuse lol) but I’ve not been drinking at all either 😉
    Though there are days I fantasize about having “just one” drink after my 30 days. I’m thinking if I have something I don’t usually drink ie. an expensive local fruit cider…then I’ll just have one…I think though that part of me knows I’ll be right back at it the next day.
    For some reason it takes a lot for me to quit…Once I quit it’s not so bad going without, but once I start again it’s really hard to quit 😛
    Anyhow, I’m 1/3 of the way there and now that I’m back in “civilization” I hope to diligantly go through the book and actually do all of the exercises.
    I’ve not taken any supplements either, but perhaps I should. Is there anyone that has and has noticed a significant difference? I like what someone said about staying hydrated- I think that makes a difference…I’ve been drinking San Pelligrino- it’s good but somehow isn’t quite cutting it for me…But actually it’s better than nothing. I’m just not a “pop” or “soda” person. I also have been drinking kombucha mixed with bubbly water, I think it’s the fizz, the carbonation that I’m after (craving).
    Hope everyone keeps posting! 🙂
    Stay strong and sober 🙂
    I do wake up thinking of all of the guilt and times that I drank too much- then felt stupid or wondered what I even said. That also helps me not drink 😉

  • #119736

    Participant

    Hi, Just starting out, Day 2. I am feeling rather shy, but saying hello and encouraged by each of your journey. I may just hang on the sidelines…but I really appreciate your authenticity.

    Sandy

  • #119737

    Participant

    Hi sandy.s318 … I guess I felt shy, too, when I wrote my first post, about 7 months ago. I’ll never forget at how amazed I felt reading the posts and how much in common I felt I had with what everyone was expressing. I think posting & reading others’ comments helps to connect, and I think connecting with others really does offer a sharing of strengths. I find myself adding to my “toolbox” from what others have said. Please don’t be shy! I bet I’m not the only one who’d like to hear from you. But … No pressure! Only when the Spirit moves you! Good luck! -k

  • #119738

    Participant

    Hey all, Thank you all for sharing, this is so difficult to think of all the embarrassing, dumb stuff associated with drinking. Drinking stopped working for me long ago, but with my tenacious drive I continued and drank even more to get to the having “fun” time. All of which made me feel sick and disappointed in myself. When did the off button stop registering, once I started drinking I just would not stop for god or money. I’m 8 days sober thats more than I’ve had for at least 2 years. I haven’t even told my family I stopped in fear of failing and disappointing everyone. I have the audio book, I listen to each step over and over every time I get into the car. It definitely keeps me strong. But, I’m still avoiding all my friends so to stay sober. Thanks for being here! R

  • #119818

    Participant

    Thanks for sharing rbrostoff. I was in the same boat- i just don’t stop once I start. I’ve even gone to get togethers nearby where I live, have had a couple of glasses of wine, then the party is over.Everyone goes off,home, I’m sure to bed.Me, I leave and go to the liquor store to get more alcohol and drink till I pass out- doesn’t matter if I’m alone 🙁
    I haven’t really told my family either- though I live with my husband so i assume he sees it. He’s still drinking though. I think too though that we have to do this for ourselves (as well as for our relationships) but I guess also to heal the relationship we have with ourselves- if that makes sense. I know when I’d get up in the morning I’d have very little respect for myself and would feel like crap- both physically and emotionally.
    Not now though 🙂
    Keep listening to the cd’s keep reading and writing in the jurnal.

    Stay strong and sober 😉
    Peace
    mishelle

  • #119819

    Participant

    Good morning everyone. Made it through the weekend happily sober. I stayed focused on reading the book and working the lessons. I am loving it and looking forward to the next days steps. I am 4 days sober and on day 3 lessons. I feel a little silly saying that because it really isn’t that long, but it is an accomplishment for me. More importantly I am not fighting cravings and have no desire to drink. Saturday I had the best sleep I have had in a really long time. I can’t wait to see how I feel after 2,3,4 weeks plus. @rbrostoff I too do not have an off switch, if I start I do not stop. I tried so many times to control it but it takes over. I am coming to peace with that. I am super grateful to be able to come here and read everyones posts. It helps alot and is now apart of my morning routine after meditation to start my day off inspired to stay sober and move toward a better me. @sandy.s318 I feel shy as well or that what I say may sound stupid but I feel it is important to step out of our comfort zone and connect with others who understand what it is like and through our own journeys we help each other.

  • #119837

    Participant

    Here’s a link to a technique you can use to combat cravings…
    Onward! Sina

    https://www.drugrehab.org/expert-area/urge-surfing-mindfulness-techniques-to-prevent-relapse/

    • #119846

      Participant

      Thank you, sinaqueena! I was able to make a printout of this so I can keep it nearby and really incorporate this into my mindset! Great!

  • #119839

    Participant

    Just remember – booze makes us feel like shit, costs too much & is fattening. Speak from experience. 1 or 2 hours of “fun” in not worth 12 of misery.

    • #119841

      Participant

      @karakucha you hit the nail on the head!!!! Some days I run into stretches that I have to manage minute by minute, and your sentiment is one of the best ways of reminding myself in an emergency WHY i don’t even WANT the drink!! As good as it looks – that Margarita will be the beginning of 48 hours of hell if i touch it!! Not setting aside the Solutions in the book , obviously, I am still attached to them, but have to admit have been too busy with holidays to actually work on them. I am 22 days into this now. Hope everyone is staying strong and giving themselves the love and care they deserve. truly grateful xx

      (PS why does this site keep asking if i’m a robot – robots dont have drink problems *ROFL*

  • #119845

    Participant

    karakucha! Grrreat! I love it! Ha, ha! That is IT!

  • #119849

    Participant

    Hi everyone! Hope all is well. I am still going strong and feeling happy to be sober 6 days, working on day 4 today forgivness, I have been contemplating this one for a day I feel a little nervous about what will come up. Forgiving myself is going to take time. On another note I have a weird question, does anyone else have drinking dreams/nightmares? It is awful, I wake up initially with horrible regret until I realize it was a dream. Even in my dream its like I have no choice just all of the sudden I am drinking and hating it. Even have the anxiety and dream of letting my loved ones down and fighting with my Husband. Any advice, wisdom shared would be greatly appreciated.

  • #119850

    Participant

    Hi

  • #119851

    Participant

    Hi….Good Luck with it! I’m starting today too…got the audio book which is good because it forces me to slow down and pay attention to what is being said. Excited to be doing something positive about a situation that has been gradually getting out of hand, also looking forward to getting to know the people on this forum as we go through this process.

  • #119855

    I bought the CD AND the book. The book only cost 10 dollars on Amazon. I bought it because I can refer to the specifics of the actions steps and the references to other websites and Authors they refer to in the CD. I don’t have to read much but it helps. If you or anyone else needs to talk feel free to respond and maybe we can exchange e-mails. I’ve been working at this for awhile and go to AA. I would never push AA down your throat. They have to many rules on what you can talk about during the meetings. I go for the support and have made a lot of Sober friends.

  • #119856

    Participant

    Hi, This is a wonderful thread. I am on day 4 of solutions, got through day 1 with no wine. I have done long stretches without it before, so I know I can and always feel great. Its the evening hours at home that are the most difficult, but if I can get through dinner time and then enjoy some TV or other time with the family, with a cup of tea, and then reading in bed I realize how wonderful it is, how good I feel, how present I am. To tuck my growing kids into bed with clarity and presence, to be a positive role model. Just seems this summer I have been having too much and too frequently, and the anxiety and regret that it is causing me is what has brought me here. It is definitely a cycle and a slippery slope. I need to step away, remove wine from the equation for awhile to try to understand why some times I feel fine and in control (social settings, out to dinner, when we have house guests etc) and other times the off switch doesn’t seem to work (usually this happens in cases of if we are staying in, either at home or on vacations and if there is “more” readily available! and never when I am home alone or home solo parenting- but it still worries me, and our children are always watching–oh….the regret and anxiety and forgiveness piece- that will be tough). I love my fitness and my family’s active lifestyle, and I am realize there is a component that just is not “working” for me right now (not to mention, again, more importantly being the best parent I can be for my kids, time is moving so quickly). I could go on and on, as I do in my journal, but if I do that now I may never actually post this! Anyway, thanks for the support. Keep up the good work everyone!

  • #119860

    Participant

    WoW! I didn’t realize the book was only $10 on Amazon! I have a copy from the library. Even though I’m on day 15 I haven’t even begun trying to forgive myself for all of the damage I’ve done and can’t undo (I just started crying).
    Carollong45 you have it right! The kids grow up SO fast- though it doesn’t always feel like it. My 3 are 16yrs and up, 2 are out of the house. The 3 have grown up with SO much alc in the hse 🙁 I didn’t realize the damage it was causing. The modeling I was doing. It was always maybe a beer while cooking dinner then a cple more watching tv in the evening…But I do remember my little boy wanting me to cuddle at bedtime and I said no 🙁 And chose to watch tv with my spouse and have a beer.
    Oh the guilt 🙁
    I’m trying to not be too hard on myself and remember that raising 3 kids is tough. Personally I was an only child so never felt I knew what I was doing. Plus we have no family where we live, very few friends and no real sense of community or belonging ie to a church or something.
    I appreciate the community here as a safe place where we can support each other.
    My partner is still drinking everyday even though I have stopped. I didn’t realize how much it bothered me till yesterday morning when i was so excited thinking he hadn’t drunken the night before! Then I went to the fridge and realized he’d had 5 ciders.Of course he drank again last night and never gets up till at least 11am. We’ve been together for 26 yrs- I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I’ve asked him several times about couples’ counselling. At first he was responsive- but chose to not find someone. Then when I suggested a cousellor (via text as I was away) he ignored it. I mentioned it again after I got home, then our daughter walked onto the room so it was ignored again…My own therapist says to read the writing on the wall- he doesn’t want to go. I sometimes think he’s done with me…

  • #119861

    Participant

    So…I have a question…I’m wondering what you think about me going to my 21 yr old son for support during this journey.
    Do you think it’s okay? Or do you think (as I tend to) that no- I’m the parent, he’s the “child”.
    Obviously every mother son relationship is different. I can’t say mine talks to me much (he is 21 and has moved 3 hrs away). He’s working a landscaping job so low stress (not like he’s a student with exams and stuff).
    I know when he was a teen living at home he wanted me to quit- i guess I just wasn’t ready 🙁
    I quit a while back (over a yr ago) and told him…He corrected me and said I’ve “stopped” as opposed to quit…
    I’d appreciate your opinion/ thoughts on this
    He’s supposed to come for a visit this weekend
    Thanks

  • #119862

    Participant

    Last drink 12th July…got the
    Book about the 18TH and have read/re-read day 1 ever since. Most of action steps done but stalling/frightened to start journaling due to determination to be totally honest…always been a problem seeing things in black and white, resurrects awful guilt and no self respect/esteem. Been to AA on and off for 30years and never got past step 4 ‘re moral inventory without relapsing! Anyone else encountered this problem please ?

  • #119865

    I relapsed twice in AA after step 5. That was a very emotional step telling another person all you wrote down in step 4. This program and AA help you get out all the bad feelings and resentments. With this program I wrote in detail about the old me. Every drunken moment I could remember. I went over it for a few days and then I burned it and said good bye to the old me, and watched it go up in smoke. It was an emotional experience but it was a feeling of freeing myself, a joyous feeling not depressing.

  • #119866

    Participant

    Hi, I’ve never been to AA but have been considering it…
    What exactly is step 4 moral inventory? Then if you slip up you have to “spill” very personal stuff to someone else? Is that how it works?

    brandi-cordelltwc WoW! I really like what you did writing about the old you what you could remember. Then burning it. Pretty powerful I’m sure.
    So you’ve resolved to never drink again? I’m just curious bc I’m on day 15 and think after my 30 days I will have a glass of wine mixed with bubbly water at social gatherings…I’m not sure if it’s a “no-no” for me and am a bit concerned that I may not be able to control myself and will be back to drinking the next day 🙁 Ugh. Either way I’m not there
    Sorry gotta go

  • #119869

    Step 4 is like the Total truth Process in this program. I actually like the total truth process better than Step 4 because it breaks it down in simple English. Write down EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING that bothers you. People, situations, even yourself and see how you might have played a part in it. You also write down your fears and Sexual situations. Step 5 in AA takes hours and hours with your sponsor where you tell them everything about yourself, your regrets, your resentments anything and everything including your fears and your sex inventory who you hurt and if you were hurt. Then forgive yourself. I have tried the control drinking and it just increases my cravings and I want more and more. I hate to be negative but I am an alcoholic but its true. I am going to try and find a way to put a positive spin on that word. I cant yet say I am thriving in sobriety even though when I am sober I am thriving. I think I need more time sober before I can say that in AA. This stent of Sobriety for me has been 26 days even though I went months sober before but in AA when you slip you have to be honest and start over. I hate that. I love going to AA and feel great during and after meetings and spending time doing things with other AA sober members, but I do not like they way everything is so controlled over what you share and having to give up everything and start over if you relapse. The fact that I never stopped going to AA or trying should count for something. Your doing good, keep up the good work

  • #119870

    Participant

    brandi-cordelltwc-state-tx-us Thank-you for the clarification on tha 😉 And thank-you for your honesty. I see what you mean about AA and hear your frustration when having to start all over again…Maybe it has something to do with self forgiveness? Idk…?But ya…I would feel totally discouraged if I slipped after months of sobriety. I would feel disappointed to no longer have that count 🙁
    Possibly even discouraged!
    Anyways you’re here now also 🙂 and it sounds like you’re doing just fine 🙂 Keep up the great work and keep in touch!
    Thanks,
    mishelle

  • #119871

    Participant

    Anyone wanna weigh in on this? Please? Just need a couple of opinions or anyone with experience in this area…Idk that I need support…i do have this community that I find very helpful- I have no face to face support, but maybe that’s okay…

    So…I have a question…I’m wondering what you think about me going to my 21 yr old son for support during this journey.
    Do you think it’s okay? Or do you think (as I tend to) that no- I’m the parent, he’s the “child”.
    Obviously every mother son relationship is different. I can’t say mine talks to me much (he is 21 and has moved 3 hrs away). He’s working a landscaping job so low stress (not like he’s a student with exams and stuff).
    I know when he was a teen living at home he wanted me to quit- i guess I just wasn’t ready 🙁
    I quit a while back (over a yr ago) and told him…He corrected me and said I’ve “stopped” as opposed to quit…
    I’d appreciate your opinion/ thoughts on this
    He’s supposed to come for a visit this weekend
    Thanks

  • #119942

    Participant

    Hi Mishelle,
    I’m not sure how these forums work. I’m starting today and I’m so scared. I’ve been reading the book and looking at this website for a few days. I’ve been an alcoholic since my teens but I quit drinking once for 10 years and then relapsed about 4 years ago I’ve tried to stop several times but was only successful for a few days. I’m hoping this online community can make a difference. How are you doing today?

  • #119945

    Participant

    @mishelle I don’t know your relationship with your son, but sure he’d be a support, and you’d soon sense if he was uncomfortable with you sharing your struggles, becuase yes, as you say you feel you shouldnt lean on him being your child etc. But i don’t think we realise fully how much they notice, in which case, he’ll be thrilled to see you working on sobriety and willing to support as much as able.

    Hope everyone else is doing ok. Thanks for many posts and I wish you all strength. I am 27 days today. I have had to spend a lot of time with family in the past weeks and typically get-togethers are an excuse to drown in alcohol. I have found it boring to stick to non-alco, but that feeling doesnt come close to the sense of relief and gratitude i have after each event when i can go to bed clear headed and wake up with my self-respect in tact. Also finding other areas of my life and going smoother and so my energy is channelled in that way, acheiving more and enjoying more. Its summer holidays and i have been super active with the kids, which i attribute to being more organized, healthier and having much more patience since I have removed myself from the physical and emotional rollercoaster of alcohol abuse.

    xx

  • #120073

    I relapsed this weekend 🙁 over a man. I should never let someone effect my sobriety. I’m on day 3 again. This program is great. I am starting from the beginning and am seeing my psychiatrist today, in hopes of him referring my to a therapist because if I don’t get rid of my anxiety it has proven to effect my sobriety

    • #120079

      Participant

      Hi Brandi. I am on day 4 and I also experience extreme anxiety, guilt, and shame. The only way I get through it is to think that the only way to feel better is to stay committed to sobrieth, I’m hoping that relief will come soon. For me I also think it is partially a trick of the alcohol to cause me to want to drink again. I think getting as much help and support that you can is a wonderful idea. Also. Don’t beat yourself up about the relapse. You cant stop without trying to stop. Hang in there. Someone sent me this link maybe you will find it helpful. Best wishes.
      https://www.dailystrength.org/

  • #120077

    Participant

    Hi Brandi, I`m not a therapist but I just want to show some support for you in seeking help! Good for you 🙂
    Im not sure a therapist can help youget rid ofyour anxiety but may be able to help you findtoolsto cope with it better. Forgive yourself for slippin up! Best of‘luck and strenth 😉
    mish

  • #120078

    mishelle
    I have tried, self help books, Meditation, working out and even online hypnotherapy. I don’t know what other tools to use, and of course this thriving in sobriety. I’m so anxious now. I have to see my physiatrist now.

    • #120433

      Participant

      I’ve read that a lot of problem drinkers got that way because of anxiety. I had panic attacks but then i wondered if it was just alcohol withdrawal. In any case, I recommend getting a prescription for anxiety – at least initially.

  • #120096

    bchan672
    thank you so much for the encouraging words and the Web Site. I will definitely use that support as well. I have a lot of support and friends from AA. I just have to do exactly what you said. I cant stop drinking without trying to stop.

  • #120219

    Participant

    It is day 5 for me today. I’m feeling a little emotional, but I’m hanging in there. How is everyone else doing today?

  • #120392

    I feel great but I was one of those Weekend binge drinkers so I’m Scared of the upcoming weekend. Being alone at home is a big trigger for me so I have to live somewhere so I have to get out of the house and have plans for every minute of the day. I also have a boyfriend in AA so he makes me accountable. Its okay and very normal to be emotional especially with this intense program. I felt so good to burn the old me. It was very emotional but a good feeling.

    • #120399

      Participant

      Hi Brandi. I’m glad you have support from your boyfriend. That’s helpful. I was a daily drinker, but everytime I’ve tried to stop recently I’d make it 5 or 6 days and then I’d think I’ll just drink this weekend and then I’d end up drinking every day for weeks until I was sick again. So making it through this weekend will be hard for me too. It sounds like you have a good plan in place. I should try that. Hang in there. Thanks for posting!

  • #120393

    Participant

    Hi!
    Brandi, I hope my last post wasn’t misunderstood. I think it’s great you’re seeking outside help from therapists etc 🙂 I really do:)
    I was trying to say that i don’t think anyone has the power to “take away” the anxiety…I think it’s something we need to get a “grip” on or live with ourselves…Some “tools” like those you’ve mentioned can help. I sincerely hope you do find something that really does help! When you do please share 🙂
    This isn’t an easy road…I’m on day 24 today but still haven’t done the forgiveness 🙁 Let alone the self forgiveness (I’m crying now). It’s weird. It’s like I think I deserve to live with this pain and carry the burden of it for the sh*t I’ve done 🙁
    You’re doing great! And it’s wonderful you and your boyfriend are in AA together 😉
    Luck and strength

    • #120398

      Participant

      Hi Mishelle, I had to respond to your post because it is exactly what happened to me when I got to the forgiveness exercise. Just thinking about doing it makes me cry. I’m so sorry this is so hard. It’s so much easier to forgive others than it is ourselves. I don’t know why. We are only human we make mistakes we deserve forgiveness too. Day 24 is awesome. I’m only on day 6. Thanks so much for your post it was an inspiration to me today!

  • #120400

    Participant

    It is easier so much to forgive others!
    Thanks for your post and support 🙂

    Proramme and exercise set aside I honestly physically and mentally feel SO much better!
    Keep at it, you’re doing great 🙂

  • #120412

    Participant

    @brandi-cordelltwc-state-tx-us Your anxiety is definitely something you can get help with. Find a therapist who practices COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY – CBT for short. I have read the book Feeling Good by david burns. He also has a great book called “When Panic Attacks”.Please check them out. You absolutely can get help with anxiety and get over it controlling your life. I have proved much help from Dr David Burns books and his website http://www.feelinggood.com

    Wishing all the best to everybody here xx

  • #120415

    Participant

    Hi narunner,
    thanks for sharing I will look into him too 😉

  • #120443

    karakucha
    I got on anti-anxiety medication Xanax 10 years ago and I’m still on it, now I’m addicted to that. I know I am because anytime i go for a long period of time without drinking I feel the withdraws of the Xanax, it has been a viscous cycle for 10 years. I see my physiatrist tomorrow and I’m getting off of Xanax. Yeah. I was scared now I’m very hopeful. I want to be alcohol and drug free and seek counseling to deal learn how to deal with my anxiety and find out what the underlying reasons are why I am the way I am and be normal. I just want to feel normal.

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