Internal Roadblocks


This topic contains 9 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by

1 year, 6 months ago.

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  • #19171


    One of the internal roadblocks I struggle with is remembering why it will be painful to not accomplish my goal to remain sober and why it will be pleasurable and rewarding to accomplish it. I’m going to try to keep asking myself when I’m tempted to drink, “will this bring me closer to my goal (resulting in pleasure and a sense of pride) or farther away from my goal of thriving in sobriety (resulting in more pain and disappointment)?

  • #19176


    I followed the advice of a friend to make a video of my “morning” self… When quitting drinking seems the easiest (as opposed to the evening when I am so ready to retreat in my buzz bubble). It took a while to make this selfie video, but one morning a while back I woke up with a hideous hangover. Perfect video time. I described in detail how shitty I felt physically, and how shitty I felt about myself. It was very helpful! I also made a video the next day when I woke up feeling great bc I had not had anything to drink the night before. I hate taking selfies but this was worth it👍

  • #19181


    Hi ByeBye, struggling too. I start to feel so great that I forget about the aftermath. I am committing to 30 days and reading the book each day. I am working on be content and emotionally stable in all circumstances. I use to be hard on myself, so that is changing. Acceptance is key – both the good and bad. Prayers for you.

  • #19285


    Day 6 has been more stressful than I anticipated. Last night I had one glass of wine because it was my birthday! but now today, i thought about alcohol all day, the only good part is that I didnt have any. I have not told any of my family yet. I am not sure what I am waiting for? I guess I am not sure if I can do this. Although, I feel better than I have in many months.
    I hope I am posting in the right place?

    • #19286


      Hi @klabuz3,

      Happy Birthday!! It sounds like ou are doing great! You should be proud that you only had one glass of wine – Congrats!! I don’t buy into the alcoholism is a disease mentality. Don’t get me wrong – I definitely think it is a major problem for lots of people, and I do think some people develop bad habits easier than others, but I think they are just that – bad habits. So don’t feel bad about having one glass of wine. However, if you really want to break the habit you have been cultivating – you should try to abstain for the whole time you are working through the book. This and doing the work outlined in the book will help you create new, more beneficial and fulfilling habits. When you start seeing the benefits of this “new you” you will not want to go back to the drinking version of yourself. So try your best to give up drinking for the entire program and once you have done the work in the book, you can address whether you will be a “take it or leave it” occasional drinker – or one who decides that drinking is simply no longer for you. Do the work in the book and try your best not to worry about that for now.

      I definitely can relate to being afraid of telling your family about trying to quit drinking – and for the exact same reason – fear of failure and judgement. When I was trying to quit drinking – I did tell my family – and I tried for a while and did not succeed. The truth is that I drank so much – that when I was trying to stop – it was pretty obvious. Hopefully you can share things with them and they can be supportive.

      Best Wishes,

  • #19287


    Klabuz3, you can do it! It is amazing how much power one glass of wine has when you’re trying to quit. This little beverage can mess with your mind long after it’s left your system. I am on day 46….!!!! How did this happen?!?? But I gotta tell you, I grappled with the decision every minute of every day for the first 30 days. Like, should I drink or shouldn’t I? Do I really have a drinking problem? How can I survive this sometimes brutal life without my favorite hiding place?? Anyway, we all have our unique psychotic dialogue that goes on when trying to change a persistant habit. On day 33, I remember thinking, wow I’m really doing this. And now I can actually see that life can be possible without drinking. Not just doable, either, but better. Don’t get mad at yourself for your brain jumping around, or for having a glass on your bday. Just start again with THIS moment. The program is very helpful, very holistic. I’m doing 90 days. I have abstained for 30 days before, but it didn’t “take”. Oh well. You got this!!!!

  • #19288


    thanks for all the encouragement. It is frightening to think ahead to 30 days of complete abstinence. I think the longest I have gone without alcohol in the past two years was 10 days. yikes… putting that on paper is sobering in itself!! It used to be one glass of wine a day and developed and unending cycle, until i had finished a whole bottle just making dinner. I truly do not have memory of most of my summer evenings. And I feel wonderful since I started the program.I will take your advice and continue on in the program. On to Day 7. Have a great Saturday. (ugh, the weekend) stay focused 🙂

  • #19289


    @klabuz3, 30 days is impossible!!! just awful! I say that because my hope was that it would be no big deal and I would somehow feel immediate relief that I changed my habit blah blah blah. but early sobriety is ROUGH. this info helped me so much—- there is a reason it is so brutal. especially the first 2 weeks. it literally takes 2 weeks to get rid of the physical withdrawal symptoms. I have never had the shakes, I have never gotten throw-up sick from drinking, so I thought withdrawal didn’t apply to me. But it totally applies to every drinker who drinks on a regular basis. the first 3 days are the worst, but then it keeps coming back in the form of physical cravings for 2 whole weeks. then after that you get to deal with the psychological cravings…. but that is when this program kicks it up with some deep personal inquiry. this whole thing is progressive. you can’t go from a to z without all the steps in between. something else that is helpful— kava! google kava in reference to quitting alcohol. you can buy really high quality kava (feel free to message me to get the web link if you aren’t happy with what you find) but it REALLY helps with anxiety and gives a pleasant buzz. non-habit forming.

    you are in the hardest part. it won’t stay this nagging for very much longer!!!!

    • #20297


      I have read about keva but, was scared to order it because part of the plant can be bad for you. If you have a reputable place to get it from I would love the web site.

  • #19299


    Love the honesty – raw baby! Stay centered… this too shall pass! I remind myself to be content and emotionally stable in all circumstances… it helps as I’m sensitive and sometimes my body and mind go for the unnecessary ride. Prayers.

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