Tagged: Day 19
This topic contains 18 replies, has 17 voices, and was last updated by
April 25, 2016 at 4:21 pm #10202Participant
There was a posting from someone a few days ago who questioned whether the program works based on the number of posts from those doing well. I can’t find it today so let me just say that for myself the program is a great success. I’ve quit and cut back before using the only tool that I had, my will power. That only worked for so long. But now, on Day 19 and 37 days free from alcohol, I’ve got a whole tool box full of solutions to call on. I’m not worried at all about relapsing. It’s a great program, thanks to everyone involved.
April 25, 2016 at 6:03 pm #10209Participant
I agree with what you say about this program. There are a number of tools we can use to overcome old patterns, old thoughts, or old habits. The desire to change is of great importance, but so are the day-to-day lessons and activities. They seem to take us through the inner caverns of what makes us tick. For my part, the journaling is a major part of keeping on track and current with where I am and what I’m feeling regarding my relationship to my ‘old problem’ with drinking. I don’t mean to sound arrogant or that I’ve got it totally under control. That’s not the case and I do sometimes still feel concern or even a little dread. But, that is not so say that I don’t feel good about the progress being made and the hopefulness I now feel in relationship to what previously had been a major stumbling block and serious, serious problem.
For those who do doubt: Just because a flood of people don’t write in on any regular basis does not mean that it isn’t helping scores. My guess is that for every person who does chose to write in there are probably 20 who don’t. Or maybe more than that. For me, the main point is that if this is working for you, trust that it is for others as well and allow such positive energy to fill you with peace. I think that the more we can feel peace with ourselves and with our previous path, the more we can forgive, forget the old heartache, and flourish right here & right now to the best of our ability.
Best to all and keep on believing no matter what . . .
April 25, 2016 at 11:06 pm #10228Participant
I am so thankful, and have had success so far. I’ve been done with the book for a week, and have stayed sober for 41 days. This book saved my life, and though I don’t share a lot, I read all of the other shares. I’m a bit shy, but I do find that I’m still drawn to this wonderful website…as it provides a lot of support. I also have no desire at all to drink.
April 26, 2016 at 1:43 pm #10245Participant
41 days that is so inspiring to me. Thanks.
April 26, 2016 at 10:40 am #10241Participant
I’m feeling very successful with this program and am ‘thriving’ in sobriety. I even had a five day business trip and barely felt a twinge of an urge to drink. Biz trips have always been a trigger. I just kept my vision statement in mind, my core values, and kept this a positive thing instead of a “punishment.” in mind. It truly comes down to continual ‘positive’ internal talk about it for me. I’m very grateful for this program.
April 28, 2016 at 6:41 pm #10378Participant
I have just read and journalled for day 19 and am 20 days sober. The end of week two had me distraught with grief at the loss of my husband and weighed down with the work and pain of remembering why I drank and the me I am when drinking, which has gone on for so very long. This week’s work has been so positive and inspiring, I feel like I had to go through all that ‘stuff’ to achieve the breakthrough I have. I am starting to feel like the old me is slipping away and that it was always a matter of letting it go, which I had no idea how to do. Looking back on my life I see that I have simply let go of other things that had weighed me down for years, like a difficult childhood with a stepmother who didn’t like me much. For years I felt deep resentment and dislike for her, but over time I realise that has gone. Completely gone, and now I even feel sad that her life with us kids was so hard when she had a good heart about why she took us on. After reading the 30 days book, and thinking, it struck me that I am grateful to her. I have just realised that if she hadn’t married dad, we may well have been split up, fostered out. Four little kids without a mum. Her marrying my father kept us all together. So, another layer of reasons why I feel differently toward her. Now I am starting to feel like I am letting the old me go in much the same way. I am grateful for this program and what it has led me to see. I am motivated so it is not about willpower for the first time. It has a greater depth to it. I could say I wish I had found this book years ago, but I know now was the time I was ready to find it and decide to start. Thank you.
April 28, 2016 at 7:01 pm #10380Participant
Beautiful post and very inspiring. Congratulations on your breakthrough. I’ve been able to identify my source of resentment and study it each day. I’ve made progress in letting go, but it sounds like you have really achieved it. Also, I’m sorry for your loss.
May this inner peace help to carry you on through.
Stand proud and stand strong.
April 29, 2016 at 10:25 am #10410Participant
Well I am one of the many people who usually read and don’t write. I am on day 19 of being sober, and although I have gone that long 2 times before, it was never as “easy” as this. Last times all I did was wait till it was over (the allotted time I said I would stop for) then went right back to the same drinking pattern. I do stress a little that when 30 days is up that I will be making a big decision, will I try to have a social drink or will I continue with abstinence? I still have not answered that question. I do know that I have not felt this happy, carefree, safe, energetic in such a long time. I know that my husband is very grateful for the abstinence as he has not had a bad night in the last 19 days with me. I am so grateful for the book, it helped me find answers to why I was so unhappy, which showed when I was drinking. Here is hoping all of you are finding your answers and happiness, we all deserve it…..
May 2, 2016 at 7:27 am #10520Participant
Day 18 was a test. I read the book, did the affirmation exercises, went to workout….Got home and at first my wife was mad because I had been gone so long. (I had gone to work office before going to gym to do my book exercises.) As I have posted before, I have not let my wife know I am doing this as she is not understanding of addiction. And I am not sure she would understand any shortcomings. Well, thank the Higher Power(s) for affirmations because I had already seen myself as a loving husband :). And rather than be frustrated back at her, I inhaled, exhaled and said I am be a good husband and will not get mad. This is a small issue and I am returning home from doing some very good things for myself and for long term of the marriage. I also said, to myself, this is not the time to deal with this as we had to get ready for meeting with her parents later. I have found that sometimes my frustration with her can lead to my drinking. But I didn’t. So, fist hurdle handled!
Second, we met her parents at Carlos O’Kelly’s, a Mexican restaurant, for margaritas! I had envisioned on my way to the restaurant that I would order water, coffee or pop (soda for those of you not in the Midwest). Second hurdle possessed. I ordered a diet cola! (on a side note, they also ordered a healthy order of chips, queso, and refried bean plate too, which I had a moderate amount. One of my goals is to get back to a more healthy weight)
Next, my wife and I are getting ready for the graduation of my twin sons and my wife would like beer at the open house. Yes, she thinks I drink too much, and she has asked me to go get help….Go figure. As I said, she is not very understanding of addiction…
To carry on with events, my wife has asked me to price out beer prices at various places for the open house. So, I went to the lion’s den (liquor stores and beer isles of stores) not once, but 4 times! I focused on the cost of the beer, which gave me sticker shock and repelled me from buying any alcohol…..Third hurdle met!
When I got home from the stores, wife and kids were gone and so I was home alone and bored. Usually a good time for me to drink. Instead, I picked up a book. Fourth hurdle overcame!
So, I come to day 9 of being sober, which meets the longest I have been sober before I feel off the wagon at the beginning of second week of this program. Now I am in day 19 after crawling back on the wagon and my reboot. The biggest break through for me has been the realization that trying to will myself to not drink using the “I will not drink statements” do not work. Much better to say “What things do I need to do to ensure that I lead a healthy lifestyle in sobriety, at healthy weight with the ones I love doing the things I love. Answers to these questions seem to drive me in the right direction, so far, and with other tools I hope to learn in this book I hope they will help lead me to my goals. I am in control, I am my own density. Drink is not in the question or the answer. Sobriety and my goals are. (Yes, I did mean to use the word density in the above. A throw back to Back to the Future and acknowledgement of the futility of drinking as an answer (Whoa! Sobriety is such a rush! Another movie reference, any one know??? Buehler?….Buehler?….., Buehler?)
This is Monday and for me Day 19.
Best wishes all!
May 2, 2016 at 11:14 am #10532Participant
What a great post 100%committ. For several reason. Your success story is a big one. But especially I like how you describe what you did. What worked what pieces of the program you used. My my my this post could be the posts child for how to do it right. I really like the first paragraph. How you realized you were doing something good for you. And her. Bravo! And on doing it first thing in morning. And on visualizing situations and planning action steps.
Liquor store? Home alone? Oh 100%committ you had Aday. Flag this in your journal. Should you ever think of drink read this and remember that you did it.
And then your last paragraph. Yes yes yes. See! When you actually do the exercises it makes all the difference. Instead of willpower you wrote. And you created an action plan. Maybe share that in the action plan thread as an example for others.
Wow 100%committ what a rush reading your post. How exciting. What a blast of energy you’ve posted.
May 2, 2016 at 1:55 pm #10537Participant
100%committ, I loved reading your post. Thankyou for sharing your triumphs, it helps me to continue being inspired about the fact that I’m continuing to thrive in Sobriety after losing the alcohol 33 days ago. I’m not considering reintroducing it, because it isn’t appealing to me at this time. Also, I won’t risk the chance of falling back into old habits. I’m finally starting to sleep better, which was problematic for me this last month. This is a wonderful adventure! Thanks again for sharing. You are lucky that your wife isn’t a drinker, even though she may not understand, at least she’s not undermining you as is the case with others struggling with addictions. Sina
May 2, 2016 at 12:19 pm #10534Participant
HapE. Thanks for your note. It was an interesting day for me and I had to smile at each hurdle I was able to overcome and the challenge it represented.
I have to admit, HapE I did not quite get when you responded to an earlier post after I fell off the wagon and you said I was not following the book, journalizing and was only relying on will power. I wondered, Well what else is there? Then, like a light, came the section in the book on subconscious mind. What an eye opener for me! The questions I phrase are not the whys, but the hows.
To others out there, HapE is, I think, an alias for Yoda.
“We can only take action when we commit to ‘doing’. Trying simply does not exist.”
May 2, 2016 at 11:10 pm #10559Participant
Excellent 100%committ. Excellent. Glad you got it. You realize you’ve just encouraged me to repeat and nag others. ? Your testimonial is wonderful. So glad you are really working it. Everyone of of my vision which gets translated to goals came true. I even blew past my weight loss number. But that was doing the work four five or more times a day. As described in the action steps.
As for Yoda, honoured I am. Much taller is me.
May 14, 2016 at 5:22 pm #11127Participant
Hi janz. Since you have benefitted in so many ways, why not try another 30?
November 3, 2016 at 1:17 pm #14912Participant
Amazing calmness from the programme. Work stress is the same but my response is very different. My wife has never had a problem with drinking. 2 gin & tonics a night is it. She didn’t join me on the programme and told me yesterday she misses her evening drink. On my way home I bought a bottle of gin. I poured her her 2 drinks and enjoyed my lime & soda: no problem.
Feeling good, thanks to Jack, Dave & all of you
March 21, 2017 at 9:16 pm #16972Participant
On day 19 and this is definitely working for me. I am so grateful for this program and the change in my life it has already made. I have stopped drinking periodically before but it never felt like this. For the first time I can see myself comfortably as a non-drinker. I am still going out with drinking friends and having people over (and serving alcohol) but I am not even tempted to drink. And I don’t feel deprived because I know how crappy it is for me and how it messes with my body and mind and I am like NO THANK YOU!!
January 13, 2020 at 1:47 pm #123040Participant
Day 19 Day 12 AF – This program has finally sunk in and the repetition, fourth attempt for me, has finally taken root. As hape had mentioned, my wife has no idea that I have purchased this book and been trying to accomplish the 30 day reboot for a couple years now, but I think she knows that I am doing it so I can be there for her and be as healthy as possible. Part of me wants to tell her what a struggle it is and that I can’t go to the store and buy her beer, and when the holidays or family are coming over that I am not comfortable buying that much alcohol, especially when the leftovers are going to stay in the house. But, using the affirmations and making a plan ahead of time has made it easier and resisting my previous default reaction to give in to temptation is slowly fading. I even get to try new mock tails and I honestly believe everyone thinks there is probably booze in the glass. My new one is spicy bloody mary mix and club soda, no on is the wiser:). Kind of fun, like when I was sneaking away to get a drink but staying sober instead. I know this is maybe a slippery slope but instead of getting down that everyone else is “having a good time” I can drive people home or keep a level head and stay in the moment, enjoying myself and thriving in sobriety. It feels good to wake up and go to work or go snowboarding or hiking and not just push through the hang over to get to the next drink, but actually enjoying the mental stillness that comes with clarity.
January 13, 2020 at 6:05 pm #123041Participant
Keep up the great work. I have had some very good days and a couple Very challenging days we went to two events this weekend that had a lot of alcohol But I made my plan ahead of time and I told everybody that I was doing the 30 day no alcohol plan to keep myself accountable I brought my Different teabags with me so I had something to look forward to drinking. Today is day 13 without alcohol for me end it was kind of a tough day and I’m not sure why but it is very good to read yours and everybody else’s Posts.
A couple times I have thought about alcohol but I really know deep down in my soul that alcohol has never ever really help me at all it has only made things worse that’s what keeps is keeping me from drinking I am very curious to know how I will feel at the end of the 30 days about drinking but I am still trying to take it just one day at a time 13 days is the longest streak I’ve hadSince I’ve had my son 18 years ago
February 5, 2020 at 2:30 pm #123168Participant
I am really struggling right now. I did the program for 90 days. I was so happy and clear and proud of myself …. and then I thought OK now I can do this in moderation….But I have failed. I am so upset with myself for failing again. I want to just “never drink again”. THere was such a freedom in not drinking at all…the monkey was off my back saying oh just one more..
.But there is such a stigma with being the weak broken alcoholic…ALL my dear frineds drink…none of them are alcoholics. I am a 56 year old woman not some colledge kid.I have done stupid embarassing things while drunk…like litterally falling down on a dance floor…or even once in a store. I want to do the program again…but I need to forgive myself and do it with the intention that this is it. I have to admit I can’t drink…it is not working … I am sad and broken right now…I am disgusted with myself for being imbalanced and weak.
I find it hard to see the email links as there are pages and pages of these stupid ads gold for sale..ect on each days forum. It is sad that they have abandoned this site that they never finished it. BUT it does work and I did get happy and clear before. So god help me (or universe help me) to do it for real this time. I go to big events like New Orleans Jazz fest…Burningman…Music festivals and I have always indulged and partied at them…So this year I am determined to do them sober!
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