Living with a major trigger.

This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by

1 year ago.

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  • #121798


    My greatest trigger is my significant other. I am a very loving, respectful, and forgiving person. But forgiving my significant other, over and over, becomes quite exhausting. I rationalize her behaviors by believing that she can’t help herself. Given that belief, I don’t take her criticism and negative attitudes personally. I grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive step father, so am have been well versed in self blame. I don’t do that anymore. I must say that being back on the 30-Day bandwagon has been empowering as I manage this significant struggle in my life.

  • #121800


    Morning road-chill. So reading this, are you saying your wife is not supportive of you. My story sounds the same. But, my husband and I both drink. He could go all week and not drink, but when I have a drink, then he wants one. He said to me, can’t you go Monday to Friday and not drink a bottle of wine. Well, he reminds me of my weight gain, etc. So I get depressed. Anyway, 4 years ago I started to read this book and then stopped, I think I got scared. I came to realize a couple of months ago that I need to get control of my drinking. I was drunk, fell, dislocated my thumb and didn’t realize until I sobered up the following day. I have been off work for 2 months now, so been doing a lot of thinking. Eye opener. I told my husband I need to go to detox. He said, lets just not drink during the week. So today is Day 3. But last night my husband said, can you last until Saturday to have a drink. I said, I am doing a self help book and the goal is to go 30 days no alcohol. He said you won’t do it..I thought F You. I will prove him wrong. My daughter getting married in June, one more reason to get my shit together.

  • #121807


    So last night my husband came into the house with flowers and a bottle of wine for Valentines Day for me. He said giving this to you early because well first off, you were in the kitchen when I came in and didn’t have time on Valentines Day to stop. I said to him thank you for the gift. He said save the bottle of wine for tomorrow. I was so proud of myself. I said to him, I can’t drink that, I already told you im not drinking for atleast 30 days, im on a self help program. I am staying strong. He bought some whiskey and had a few drinks. I did my Day 3 exercises and went to bed. I am scared because to be honest I don’t think I can be an occasional drinker. I want to finish the 30 days first, because I never finish anything I start. Still having problems sleeping, hoping that gets better.

    • #121809


      It sounds like he also has an issue and doesn’t want to deal with it. It is easier to tell yourself you are ok if somebody else is doing what you are doing. Day Four – love yourself enough to say no for yourself.

  • #121808


    Day 6. Completed Action Steps. Last two days have been very challenging, biggest things that has helped me is thinking through the drink, and, staying on task with the help of 30-Day Sobriety Solution. Also, some support and sharing by a couple of folks (“friends” I have met on this Forum

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