Mourning Myself

This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by

2 days, 4 hours ago.

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  • #7917


    First, let me say that I am feeling empowered by the program. I am really benefitting from it and connecting to it. However, I do find myself mourning my former self. (My therapist likened my struggle with grieving). I am sad that I cannot have a beer. Beer was never my thing to get drunk–vodka and whiskey were it–I enjoyed beer like a wine enthusiast enjoyed fine wine. I loved trying new kinds and rating them and learning how to pair them with food. I got excited about the craft brewery market. I would try local beer when I travelled. I have to say goodbye to that passion because, as a quote in the book said today, I gave up my right to it. I am 95% done with the bargaining–the thought that maybe I can have a beer down the line–and have moved into grieving. I guess I will need to find another passion…..maybe root beer? Who knows…..that will come later….but suggestions are welcome!!

  • #7932


    I can relate to this – definitely. Drinking has been tied into my lifestyle and identity for a long, long time. It is like saying goodbye and it is difficult. I love (or loved) craft beers too (IPAs, especially) I do hope to be able to enjoy them again on a take-it-or-leave-it basis in the future…but understand I have to concentrate on 100% now. I wish I had a suggestion for you — but I think just the awareness of the feeling of mourning and letting yourself experience it is big.

    • #7948


      Thanks Jennie5309

  • #7944

    Yes, you are both 100% right, you are grieving a loss right now- the loss of a part of yourself, a part of your identity, and the loss of an old friend (alcohol). @jennie5309- the awareness and letting yourself truly feel the loss is absolutely huge. Ignoring it, pushing it away, only makes it come back stronger, demanding to be seen. For some people, just the acknowledgment is enough. Others need a bit more. If either of you are finding yourselves struggling to say goodbye, go ahead and have a “funeral”. We create rituals in order to honor a transition of moving from one thing to another. Having a ritual to honor moving from a drinking identity to a sober identity may be quite useful.

    @kperez- this could be something you do with your therapist if you’d like. To answer your question about finding a new passion, you’ll get an opportunity to explore new passions on Day 26. You can always peek ahead and check out the 101 New Activities List if you’re curious.

    • #7949


      The idea of a ceremony/funeral is an appealing idea. I will think about this more and how I can symbolize this loss for me in a meaningful way. Thanks for your response and encouragement.

  • #11799


    I had a “funeral” for my drinking self 18 years ago. It was resurrected some 9 months ago. I was thinking this time of having a funeral with a cremation and a burial at sea with a Bon Voyage non-alcoholic memorial party!! I seriously am gleaning so much from this program. Have taken the time needed to dig in and do the work and thrive in sobriety again. Thanks for all the authenticity in these forums.

  • #123761


    The use of beer and malt beverages are very common in our society therefore they are very high demand in the market. Therefore, the essay shark and the other organizations are talking about their import and exports. The book mentioned in this blog is full of information regarding the trade.

  • #123824


    If it is just the taste you are after, would you be able to substitute a non-alcoholic beer? If the answer is no, because they don’t taste good you may have to question what it really is. When I began dieting, I managed to acquire a taste for diet soda. Beer was (after all) an acquired taste. Every alcoholic drink is an acquired taste. So try to be honest and know that you can learn to like new beverages (without abusing them). I am now drinking Kombucha – a healthy fermented drink.

  • #123825


    During the time (years ago) when I was in AA, I did a drawing of a casket with a wine bottle in it. It also included a broken wine glass. My sponsor said it was not a positive thing to do. Now I am regretful I did not save it. It was a good drawing and I did feel that I was in mourning.

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