My thoughts on Day 1

This topic contains 24 replies, has 19 voices, and was last updated by

 
Participant
1 week ago.

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  • #121170

    Participant

    I’d like to give a little anonymous background info about myself first, before I comment on Day 1. First of all, I’m excited about interacting with you guys because I believe that any arduous journey is much easier when you go on that journey with others, many of whom have suffered in similar ways as a result of alcohol abuse and addictions. I am a 56-year-old male who has been grappling with problem drinking and the numerous dire consequences for the last 30 years. I have had multiple DUIs, spent a couple of months in jail after my 3rd DUI, been to residential rehab for 30 days (which didn’t work for me), I’ve done outpatient programs, been to countless AA meetings, been prescribed drugs for my drinking, been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, fractured the orbit of my right eye after one of my many blackouts, I’ve ruined numerous relationships, been fired from countless jobs, hurt people that I love (verbally), etc, probably nothing really unique in this forum. I have had many “rock bottoms”, some seemingly more dramatic than others, but what finally made me snap and seek out this audio book in Audible was this past week, when I started my first job in 4 years and began drinking on the job, which is just ridiculous. When I drink, I destroy everything that I touch. I’ve had enough, at last!

    Now I am filled with great hope and optimism on this first day of the 30-day program (I deliberately chose November 1 as my start date to make it easier to track my progress). I truly believe that I now have a program in place that is highly structured and requires active participation every single day, which is what I have needed all along, instead of white-knuckling my sobriety, relying solely on willpower alone and grim stoic determination, which has never worked for very long. I loved the guided meditation video and the visualization tools that it gave me. I know that I can achieve long-term sobriety if I successfully reprogram my brain, which is what I think this program will accomplish if I work at it diligently. I now know exactly what I want to look and feel like a year from now, and even five years from now. All I need to do is tackle this daunting task one tiny chunk at a time, one day at a time, the same as any other long-term project I have ever taken on, such as my college education or my fitness on the bike. Sobriety should be a joyful experience with countless benefits that add up over time. My greatest hope is that 30 days from now, I will not only NOT be drinking, but will have no DESIRE to drink either. This is the most important project I have ever undertaken, because I see it literally as a matter of life and death. I wish you all the greatest success, but not luck, because I don’t believe that luck has anything to do with it. Like the authors of the book pointed out, the program only works if you work the program!

  • #121178

    Participant

    Welcome to day 1. I’ve spent my whole day here and today I did not drink. Got a little crazy with the postings but no one has to read them. ๐Ÿ™‚ There is a lot of material but the amount of time and energy spent drinking is well spent here instead. I can do this! You can do this! Let’s GO!

    • #121183

      Participant

      Peace and courage my friend, “The Journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step”. I am up to day 15 and am proud of my efforts. Blessings

  • #121187

    Participant

    Dear lasbud6990 … Thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you. I honestly believe you can make this change. I feel I transformed this year, and high time. I’m 63. It’s a must do. But I forgive myself, too. A lot comes at me, and still does. But I’m a better warrior dry.

  • #121244

    Participant

    To: lasbud6990

    Except for the legal troubles, your message might as well have been written by me. It took decades to figure this out, but drinking for me is a “Road that goes nowhere and that is a place that’s hard to get back from”. Everything stops when I drink. AA did nothing for me but the one thing I liked about it was not feeling like I was the only one that did this to myself. And that’s the sort of comforting feeling I’m getting here. I actually had 21 days sober when I remembered that I had the “30 Day” audio book on my computer. I intend to listen to the whole thing and do the exercises because I’m getting a good vibe from what I’ve heard so far. I wish you good luck and success!

    Scott M

  • #121246

    Participant

    Hi Scott … Your key words “not feeling like I was the only one” rang so true with me. This sense of community has been the thing that has helped to push me into sobriety. Power in numbers, I feel. It has been amazing to me. Good luck!

  • #121251

    Participant

    Still here! Day 13 and still finding new inspiration in each step. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you all are here too.

  • #121288

    Participant

    Welcome everyone to the program and good luck.I have been trying to stay sober for at least 5 years and have had multiple periods of almost a year without alcohol but NEVER truly committed to not drinking and I am someone who has been extensively to AA and done the steps etc.For me day 1 has been very useful.The importance of the decision to commit and to be 100 % committed is massive for me and I am focusing on that each day.The time travel was a really powerful tool for me and helped me feel the benefits of visualization and meditation but I truly HATED going to the future.
    As a consequence I really find I am less cynical about the program than I was starting and feel more committed to the program.
    Anyways I am trying to simply share some of my personal insights and using this as a tool to take and ensure I do take daily action.
    Good luck on your journeys.

  • #121291

    Participant

    Welcome graham,

    Still here on this beautiful rainy day 23. Made it through T-Day and have healthy leftovers to look forward to today. I wish you the best on your journey here.

  • #121301

    Participant

    Committed to day 1

  • #121302

    Participant

    Reading “the naked mind” (annie grace) and Alcohol Explained (William Porter) are really helping reframe my thinking about drinking from “it’s this pleasure I deserve and sobriety is hard” to “alcohol is a toxic poison I am choosing to pour down my throat and sobriety has the potential to be a deeply happy, satisfying life”. If you like to read, they are good supports for this 30-day blast off!

    • #121421

      Participant

      Thanks for the tip. Allen Carr has some good book on Alcoholism, etc.
      Check him out!

  • #121304

    Participant

    My second first day after an initial attempt. The time travel was helpful this morning and reinforced my first time travel two weeks ago.

  • #121306

    Participant

    Welcome all you newbies. Good for you on day 1! I had a week of day ones. ๐Ÿ˜‰ But now I’m on day 26 (x2) and for the time in my life I WANT to be sober. And I can see myself as really Thriving in Sobriety. Desire Still there, weakening, but the great part is I know I can live without.
    You are here for the journey and 30 will go quicker than expected if you can just keep the 100%. That was a hard one for me and yet when I got it it has helped so much to eliminate the inner mind combatancy that used to drive me up and down the isles in the grocery or up and down the street in front of my fav place. No more! I just Am NOT! YOu are just NOT! Yeah YOu!

  • #121361

    Participant

    Just checking in. This is my day one – not perfect timing with the holidays around the corner but perhaps that is perfect. This is my third Day 1 actually, with mixed results before. Nothing wrong with the program just a lack of focus on my part. Well, working for success this trip through.๐Ÿ‘

  • #121378

    Participant

    Keep the faith. I’m rooting for you.

  • #121536
    Stu

    Participant

    Day 1 for me.

    The hard bit 4.00 p.m and nothing planned for the rest of the day, have had a good day 1 and a half hour walk this morning, a trip to beach with daughter and her dog.Now aline in my flat, daughter stays with her mum.Normally in this situation I would open a bottle of wine and have some mini cigars.

    Trying to be positive, read a book,watch a film, play some Drums. Already bored/anxious about the next 6 hrs before I go to bed.This though is what I need to deal with to get through it

    Stu

  • #121537
    Stu

    Participant

    Day 1 for me.

    The hard bit 4.00 p.m and nothing planned for the rest of the day, have had a good day 1 and a half hour walk this morning, a trip to beach with daughter and her dog.Now alone in my flat, daughter stays with her mum.Normally in this situation I would open a bottle of wine and have some mini cigars.

    Trying to be positive, read a book,watch a film, play some Drums. Already bored/anxious about the next 6 hrs before I go to bed.This though is what I need to deal with to get through it

    Stu

    • #121600

      Participant

      I hear you on the bored/anxious thing trying to get through the next 6 hours. I’m on day one and i’m dreading the hours between 4-10 this evening

  • #121545

    Participant

    Hi Stu,

    Day 1 for me as well. And had some of the same feelings right around the time I would be drinking. So I had 6 cups of herbal tea with lots of sugar,spoke to a friend, called my Mom, turned of the TV. And tried to breath through the moments and had a couple of cigarettes. I plan to do my journaling at night to fill my mind with the pursuit not the booze. Wishing you the very best! I calculated the amount of alcohol I drink on a weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. My poor body…my liver, my heart, my brain…I donโ€™t want to die. Then I calculated the calories into lbs, I should be 119 lbs heavier. And the wasted waking hours thinking about drinking and drinking. Probably 1/2 if my waking life. And why would I want this for myself, my God. Looking forward to changing the 1 to a 2. I have sticky notes all over my house to remind me of the above. Take care…will dream about tomorrow and changing the 1 to a 2. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™‚

  • #121596

    Participant

    I am back to day 1. I successfully completed the 30 day challenge about 4 months ago. I am a weekend warrior kind of drinker, drinking to excess on the weekends. I am so sad that i have lost the feelings of joy and peace i gained from the original challenge.This weekend has left me with memory loss and deep feelings of shame, and guilt and insecurity. But i am here and i hope I can move past this yet again.

    • #121651

      Participant

      Hi . Today is my first day. Still have a few days till I do the no drinking for 30 days. Drinking has affected everything in my life. I save lives for a living. I treat overdoses, withdrawals every shift. Now itโ€™s time to help me. I like what I read today.

      Fire & Ice

  • #121598

    Participant

    Hi Fiona, I’m inspired to hear you speak of joy and peace…it’s been a few years since I cobbled together 30days, but I did do about 14 on this program a few months back, and I do remember the depression and confusion starting to lift. I hope you wake up with a little more hope. Sending hugs. I’m starting Day 2 now.

    • #121612

      Participant

      Thank you for your kindness and support. It is weird how opening up to strangers has made it easier to open up to my friends and family. Its hard to admit things even though people already know. I want to share a post i read of someone i know who has just achieved 2 years sober. His words are beautiful and inspiring to me.
      ”Today i celebrate two years without a touch of alcohol. Were i to summarize everything i learnt it would be this: everything is going to be okay.
      We all drink in different ways for different reasons. I drank with passion. I dont think i was an alcoholic but i was a fan of several day benders. And i was hectic.
      When you drink as i did, you become accustomed to drama conflict and misery. Lost phones & fights, people crying and unsavory company, Sundays rotting in loneliness and shame, desperate pleas and promises and apologies. There is a horror in it. And it becomes you.
      At first you say ‘i was just drunk’and categorize your behavior as out of character irregularities. But irregularities become regular, and eventually certain behaviors become accepted parts of you. They sit somewhere in a deep understanding of yourself.
      I stopped drinking because i could not reconcile the person i became when i drank with the person i thought i was. Even now , two years later, its hard for me to make peace with the things i did when drunk.
      But we get better. As time passes the horrors fade. And as the days and weeks since the last appalling weekend and despairing sunday add up, and the time spent being okay with yourself increases, something happens : a peacefulness comes. If you wake up enough days not expecting the world to devour you, you start to trust that it wont.
      And the energy you once poured into partying doesn’t dissipate. It is redirected. You aim it at your passions, your work and your inner world. Life becomes richer, and you learn things turn out just fine. Wounds close and shattered bones mend and become stronger, and nightmares fade to light, and even a human heart torn beyond recognition can heal and become complete. Perhaps that is the greatest miracle of all: that the world can wreak all its cruelty upon us , and we can wreak all our cruelty upon the world, and inflict outrageous damage upon ourselves: and despite it all – perhaps even for it -we can get better, and even whole, and we can love others, and even ourselves. Nothing that is broken cannot be fixed. And everything is going to be okay.”

  • #121652

    Participant

    Day 1 round 4. Ok let’s say I am a veteran of the 30 day sobriety. I have both the book
    and audiobook. My first two times of starting the program I did not finish. I gave in
    half way into it. My third time was a charm. I actually stuck with it. Yes I did it. I felt
    like I had escaped alcatraz. I even stretched it out to about 45 days. I was feeling great.
    Most of my bad issues were starting to evaporate. I was starting to feel like I was somebody
    not a nobody. Then I made a horrible decision. I thought I was healed from the disease of
    alcoholism. I figured I could have that one or two beers with dinner. Terrible decision.
    That’s like giving a starving person that hasn’t ate in two days one or two hot dogs. Before
    you know it the liquor bottles were all over again. I was back to giving the corner store
    all my money. Back to feeling like a failure. I found another rock bottom after the rock bottom.
    Finally I said enough is enough. So I’m back for round 4. Now I realize that alcoholism is like
    high blood pressure. Although you may take your medicine and feel better by no means are you
    cured. All it takes is a few days of not taking your meds and your right back in same hospital
    bed. Lesson learned. Stay focused.

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