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October 9, 2016 at 12:48 pm #14262Participant
…not always in that order but…
I lost my mother at 21. She was helping a family who had the flu, but it wasn’t the flu…it was carbon monoxide poisoning. I grew up in a single parent home, my older sibling is developmentally disabled. My mother was EVERYTHING. After her death I had (have) a deep fear of letting anyone become that important to me because I never want to feel that pain again.
I didn’t drink at all until years later. When I’d finally finished school and established a good career. It was then that I finally had time for a life. And no one in my life that managed to break through that wall I built.
And few years ago I met someone who thought I was wonderful. But that fear did it’s job, I wouldn’t let him in, and now I had another excuse…he couldn’t know how much I drank…and that created even more fear. What if he found out and left me? Well, he left anyway. As a partner I was a failure.
But this is where the story has a happy ending. I failed forward. I saw that keeping an emotional distance didn’t work. And drinking was creating a barrier to the one thing I truly deeply wanted. Now I’m pretty stubborn, so I battled internally for another year almost to the day…but here I am 22 days sober.
I’ve noticed that there are less and less ‘recent’ posts. But I’m still here, going strong and brimming with pride and thankfulness. Hugs and high fives to all you other 22 dayers…we totally got this!
October 9, 2016 at 1:06 pm #14263Participant
Share82…..Hallelujah! Congratulations on your continuing Sobriety. You can’t change the past. Having a great life in the Now is what your everloving Mother would want for you! Sina
January 16, 2017 at 9:06 am #15767Participant
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