Need some support

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2 years ago.

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  • #18599


    Hi to you all. I managed to complete half of way the book to day 14. And sadly I let myself down. Working through those solutions were hard for me mentally and emotionally as I’m sure it is for many of us who are on our own personal journey with this book. I need just some encouragement from you all out there as I now more serious than ever to get a grip on this drinking problem. It’s a great new start as it’s a new month and I really need to tackle getting through the next 30 days without a drop. I struggle with the cravings of wanting to drink and I feel anger when I know I can’t. I will be coming here for everybody’s support. So day 1 and I’m on solution 20. I loved reading about the fear solution as I guess we all have that. Any advice would be appreciated and thank you for your support and reading.

  • #18602


    Hello 20strawberry,
    I had many false starts and never made it much farther than day 4 if I was lucky. I’m on day 19 today, and doing well. It really is the 100% commitment that I was lacking before thats made the difference for me. You can do it with %100 commitment, Good luck 🙂

    • #18616


      Thank you very much. 100% commitment. Thank you for your reply

  • #18605


    \hi 20strawberry- you’re asking for support that’s a positive start, you’re trying again that’s a positive start…and this time believe in yourself and like Roxy says….100%. get on with it , do it and live it, it’s exciting to allow yourself to unpeel the layers you have been burying yourself under. Drinking is easy but such a false friend…i’ve tried lots of times and never succeeded I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol for like for ever…I’m 46 masters graduate, and wasted so much time and energy debating with myself about if i had a problem or not, comparing my intake to others around me all the time, justifying myself, ‘treating’ myself ‘coping’ with it…when all the time it just sabotages your present and your future and ruins your past-what you can remember. I’m day 9 since a drink but day 3 of the book, just to do each thing properly takes time to savour and feel…personally I feel just so great…cliched and cheesy and meaningless if that isnt where you are at-but i’m a massive cynic and 10 days ago i would not have believed this feeling or this journey would be possible….but what ever works for you….one day at a time one hour at a time one minute at a time…but learn to be proud of yourself and give yourself the chance to be happy, because sure you can go back and drink whenever you want but the determined YOU trying to come out and shine wont leave you in peace either as a boozer…and that’s exhausting-put your energies in to positive future and making your dreams a reality. You can do it….we all can….right?!

    • #18617


      Thank you so very much for this. It is just what I need to hear. Sometimes I feel so alone and feel nobody understands. I am so grateful for this advice and I sure know when I am struggling I will be reading your reply again. Thank you.

      • #18627


        Ah thanks for your reply too. That was nice to hear 🙂 I was thinking maybe rather than starting where you left off would it be a good idea to start again-those first pages are so important -esp the 100% committment pages. I also personally, found the ‘rock bottom’ piece really interesting. I had always been waiting for some thunderbolt of awfulness that would be the last straw, but the pull of what ever alcohol was for me in a moment when I had that whim to drink always overcame the last ”rock bottom” and all the milestones i thought would push me in to giving it up. So i managed to put off to the next mile stone-like reaching a certain age/getting a really important job/having a baby etc etc…all the things i used as putting off quitting as deadlines that gave me the ‘right’ to drink until i reached them and then i was creative with my excuses and sailed on through them with a merry glass in my hand and massive denial over my head. So i think this is a step by step thing when you really want to do it…and each day builds on what goes before which is why i think maybe reviewing the other chapters would be useful-i dont think it’s a race to get through the book to day 30…each day that passes is a day further away from that shroud-(that’s how i feel anyhow like before it was like i was under some cloak of darkness) and the journey to become bright new you that is in there awaiting to be released and found again. In you it is strong enough to bring you back here to try again and certainly strong enough to succeed. Wishing you ‘forca’-strength and joy in the journey.

        • #18630


          Great advice thank you so much. Yes I will certainly go back then and re read a few chapters. I’m not racing through the book and the slower the better. I am just wondering how long I will have access to the website for is all? Do you know at all? Is there a certain time frame. I will keep you posted on how I am getting on. Thank you so much for your support.

  • #18610


    Hey @20strawberry! As the book says over and over, if this were easy, none of us would be on this site right now. We need the support of one another and we need to know that it is ok to slip up. The important thing is that you get back up and continue down the road you started. I can tell you that for me the 100% commitment to not drinking for 30 days is the key. At one point in the past, I asked my Dr. for support for drinking and she put me on Antabuse for 60 days. I knew that I absolutely could not drink and the amazing thing that came from that is that I did not have the inner struggle everyday with when I was going to drink, with who, and how much. I knew 100% that I was not going to drink and that was the end of it, so I moved on. Taking that mentality to this is easier said than done, but when you put your foot down and stop the inner struggle, it becomes so much easier.

    • #18631


      Thank you so much for your advice and support

  • #18614


    Hi, 20strawberry!

    Day 13 in the book was a really hard one for me, and I found myself in yet another relapse. No mistake about it, this has been HARD WORK. But you can only fail if you stop trying. I’m now on Day 27 of the book, 17 days sober. The solutions get way easier, and this past week I’ve felt a huge internal change. A big help for me was deciding to give myself more time to complete the more difficult solutions – for some of them I needed 2 or 3 days to think and journal before I could tackle the action steps. Tapping has been really effective for me; also, reciting my Affirmation and my New Beliefs. I’ve enjoyed working on my Vision Board, too- mine is a laminated folder that I can keep tucked away when I’m not looking at it; I bought some fun dry-erase markers to write and draw on it.
    I hope this helps. We can do this! We’re worth it!

    • #18618


      Thank you very much for this advice. I will be taking it on board. Maybe I need to do what you are saying and allow myself time to complete the solutions. I know they ain’t easy. I think I ran away from them but as others as said I need the 100% commitment and that started for me yesturday. I am 100% committed now. Thank you for your reply

  • #18619


    When I am tempted to drink, here is my thought process: Yes that buzzed feeling is great but it comes at too high of a price. The price is 1) not being present to family and friends in any meaningful way while I’m drinking 2) wasting time when I could be doing something productive, 3) poor sleep, 4) hangover in the morning, 5) obsessive thoughts of when I will drink again, 6) shamefulness and lack of self respect, 7) damage to my body. I think of all these things and I really do lose the desire to drink this “stupid juice” as it is referred to in the book. Let’s be honest – the relaxed, buzzed feeling is great but the price to pay for it is just too high. Perhaps it would help to make a list of what it “costs” you to drink (written or mental) to keep when you have the desire to drink. Good luck!

    • #18628


      @kindnessmatters-That’s great-I’m so using it! Thanks for sharing

    • #18629


      This is very good to keep reading. I’ve had such great advice from you all. Thank you.

    • #18634


      I really found answering the question of what it costs me to drink very helpful. It is similar to the vision of my future self if I continue to drink but I like that it is more immediate and makes the case for changing NOW! Here is my answer to what it costs me to drink: my self-respect, my memories, my belief in my own goodness, my honesty, my optimism, my energy and motivation, my well being the next morning, my honesty, and my ability to interact and care for others. This is a very high price to pay for a pleasure that never lasts.

      • #18643


        This has been so useful for me. I have been chanting what it costs me and seriously taking it in. I’m on day 4. Feeling bright and positive. Thank you so much for this advice

        • #18652


          So glad that helps! Hang in there – it gets easier and it’s so worth it!

  • #18660


    Hi, struggling each weeek, and drinking one day a week. Most of the time I feel good and like the distraction. Unfortunately, hate the after effects – tired, lazy, unmotivated, no energy, sad, really just useless. I have completed 30 days last year but can’t seem to commit. Sometime it feels like a best friend – it comforts and soothes emotional state. So I will continue to press on and bring the fullness of God to others…sober.

    • #18734


      Same situation as I’m in. Haven’t seemed to find the strength to fully commit to the full 30 days. And rewarding myself with that drink at the end of day 7 or 14. It’s something I guess as time goes along we will learn to master to not pick up that drink whatever the situation. Certainly it does smoothe emotional state but only for a short while. And like others have said here. What it costs us to drink whatever that situation; it comes to high at a cost to carry on abusing it. We all owe it to ourselves not to let alcohol be the controller of us. Push through it if you can and come here before picking up that drink. It’s helped me tremendously

  • #18838


    Hi, I have read some of your posts about your struggles with not drinking. How are you doing? I hope you are ok. I’m at day 14 and solution 10. I am on my second go-round. The first time I made it 7 days then just decided to buy a six pack. It was so easy to just blow it and and can’t even explain what I was thinking. I know what it’s like to fail at this, but I started over 5 days later and now I am at 14 days.

    I don’t want to intrude but I figure we’re all here to help each other. I couldn’t help but notice but it looks like you are very focused on “not being able to drink” as opposed to moving on to your goals, your life and your dreams. I can only speak for myself but I quit drinking because it was stealing my dream to be a great musician and writer. I call alcohol the “Dream-Stealer”.

    Have you worked through what can excite you and motivate you enough to not want to drink. When I am focused on my music and writing goals I don’t think about alcohol much. Once in a while the thought of alcohol gets in my head but I remind myself how it steals my dream and then it passes. Your dream might be anything….woodworking, hiking, music. What’s your thing? Chase your dream and the taste for alcohol will go away. I wish you all the best.


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