Need suggestions for living with an active drinker

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by

3 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #16155


    So, I am on Day 27 of this program and I have been free of alcohol for longer than that. however, my husband continues to drink – every night. When I drank too it didn’t bother me too much even though he drank way more than I did. Now, I am sober, working on myself and he continues to drink himself to death.
    I have decided to try not to say anything – it’s all been said before. I know he needs ot make the choice for himself but it is hard to live with this.
    I have been married to this man for over 35 years. He is the love of my life. So, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  • #16161


    marriage counseling. he needs to hear this from a third party; coming from you it would probably be interpreted as “my spouse trying to control me” or nagging. if you are not comfortable with his drinking, he needs to understand that. He needs to make sure his wife is comfortable for the sake of the marriage.

    • #17849


      thanks for the suggestion. counseling might be helpful but he won’t go. i might consider going alone. better than nothing, right?
      sorry it took this long to get back to you. i did want you to know i appreciated the response.

  • #17387



    I am in the same situation as you. There is no way my spouse will agree to marriage counseling. We too have been married many years and so many of our experiences, good and bad, have involved drinking. I hope my new found health and happiness will help, but I know I can’t change someone else, only me. Getting through this with him is going to be very hard.

    • #17848


      dogwood2017, thanks and sorry it’s taken this long to get back to you. i am on my second round of teh 30 day solution. i am still not drinking and feeling pretty good about myself. my husband, although i know he truly loves me, continues to drink. marriage counseling might be good but he wouldn’t go. i might consider going by myself. i don’t know. i grapple with this often. at least i have kept my agreement with myself not ot drink.
      good luck to you. it’s always helpful to know you’re not alone.

  • #17856


    Hi tbird53 ! It’s nice to “see” you here again. Congratulations on your continuing Sobriety and success. I hope you are getting support…its tough when you can’t share as much as you’d like to with your partner. I friended you on your profile page! (Tap on your screen name and you’ll see!) Best to you flourishing! Onward, Sina

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