Home Page › All Forums › Day 11 – The Lie Detector Solution Community Forum › New Beliefs to Replace Limiting Beliefs
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January 16, 2016 at 7:01 am #4609Keymaster
Reply to this thread (Day 11 Forum – New Beliefs to Replace Limiting Beliefs) and share some of your new beliefs that you wrote to replace your old limiting beliefs. Be sure to write them in a positive way (avoid negatives like no and not) and write them in the present tense. By sharing the way you really want to be, act, and feel with others, you will help manifest it in your life, and you may find that someone else’s new belief really speaks to your new life!
January 30, 2016 at 9:43 pm #6333Participant
“Getting sober is too hard”
Yes it is hard and I have experienced that, but I have gotten to D11 and am doing it! So keep at it and I will succeed.
“I have no outlet to relax without alcohol”
I can find other activities to relax and engage with. I managed for 38 years without it before I started drinking again and managed to relax and sleep well. I choose to explore alternatives and I accept that in the early stages I will experience a bit of discomfort
“I can’t handle the cravings – the gap that is left”
I can handle the cravings and have been doing so for 11 days – it can only get easier
“My life feels empty and alcohol fills the void
I can find meaning and fulfilment in my life in other ways and create a happy and worthwhile life.
February 4, 2016 at 2:29 pm #6731
Were you sober for 38 years? I was sober for 15 years before i started again
February 5, 2016 at 4:08 am #6750Participant
Yep. Started young and stopped young. Couldn’t have kept it up much longer. This time it hasn’t been too bad but it won’t be long. All the old behaviours emerging.
March 19, 2016 at 9:28 am #8586
New Beliefs For My New Life!
1. I am more free, open, confident, successful & present when I am sober.
2. I am more authentically connected to others when I am sober.
3. I am capable of maintaining long-term sobriety, and/or not abusing
alcohol. I have everything I need to create a happy, fulfilling life, and
I TRUST MYSELF!!!
4. I deserve to be happy, free, joyful and passionate about my life, I have
so much to offer, and am reminded of it often by the people in my life.
June 22, 2016 at 5:44 am #12205Participant
I connect with all of these statements! Well written!
May 7, 2016 at 12:24 pm #10848Participant
Drinking reduces stress.
Drinking causes more stress…I am calmer and can deal with issues much better living in sobriety.
February 3, 2016 at 7:35 am #6647Participant
My most limiting belief is that drinking is the social norm. Growing up, every adult I knew drank. If someone didn’t, people wondered what was wrong with him/her. I now know there is another way–life can be fun and exciting with alcohol. After all, I can still have chocolate. Not drinking frees up a lot of calories for fun treats.
February 4, 2016 at 2:31 pm #6732
Me too…the entire family consists of heavy drinkers…many alcoholics…I remember being a child and eating the olives out of everyone’s martini glass~
February 5, 2016 at 6:17 pm #6784
Life is boring without alcohol.
Actually, life wasn’t boring, I was. And I drank because it was easier that taking action. I’ve now gone eleven days without booze and I’m sleeping better and feeling more energized when I get out of bed in the morning. I’ve got a kinds of things going on right now. I don’t have time to be bored. There’s too many fun things to do and none of them require alcohol.
June 12, 2016 at 7:19 am #11985Participant
OMG chaz1023, this completely pegged it for me!
“Actually, life wasn’t boring, I was. And I drank because it was easier than taking action.”
Thank you so much for turning on the light for me!
June 21, 2016 at 5:35 pm #12202Participant
I agree… that is the truth right there….life wasnt boring, I was!
February 6, 2016 at 7:58 am #6796Participant
Wine is classy and sophisticated.
-A good cappuccino is classy and sophisticated.
I’m trying to replace my limiting beliefs with statements that don’t include alcohol at all. It feels natural to state a contrasting thought, like “I can relax better with yoga than with wine.” I want to get to the point where “wine” isn’t in the thought at all. It’s hard! 🙂
February 7, 2016 at 1:30 pm #6835Participant
* When I am sober I am more calm, less stressed and relaxed.
* I sleep well and deep when I am sober
* When I am sober I am FREE!
* Moderation in everything is more normal. I don’t need to choose between on-off, black and white. All shades of gray are beautiful, vibrant and creative!
April 7, 2016 at 7:04 am #9409Participant
oooh I like that last one – I could have a tendency to be black and white but now I can see that lots of shades of grey are beautiful!!!thanks for that
June 23, 2016 at 10:07 am #12233Participant
I agree!!! Think I might go buy some grey paint for the house? 9 days in!!
February 12, 2016 at 6:23 pm #7082Participant
* Being sober gives me the strength and energy to handle the stress in my life.
* Being sober gives me the clarity to nourish myself with a variety of healthy foods.
* I can fill my life with a lot of fun and quality when I am sober.
* I am best able to deal with all of life’s challenges when I am sober.
* I can develop and maintain friendships when I am sober.
February 22, 2016 at 2:47 pm #7531Keymaster
Thank you to all of you who have shared your new beliefs. You are all helping and inspiring yourselves and the future participants of this program and forum!
March 11, 2016 at 12:45 pm #8295Participant
I need alcohol to…..is a total lie, and complete denial of the truth.
I have everything I need and want now in this moment. I am whole, healthy and
complete. I love and approve of myself. I forgive myself and others for any pain or suffering
and I release it completely. The past has no power in the present moment.
March 11, 2016 at 1:37 pm #8300
March 13, 2016 at 10:00 pm #8385Participant
Day 11,but actually day 21 being sober, as I chose the 60 day option. While I know for sure I have made a true shift to the concept of thriving in sobriety, I know many challenges await as the time goes on. Vacations, visitors to my location that stay for a week or longer, outdoor season and gardening, etc. I am working on being in the now, and knowing that as each day passes, I feel stronger and gain more passion about this life of “radical self love”. In the process of writing my own old/New beliefs. Thanks for the other posts that are inspiring.
March 16, 2016 at 6:42 am #8462Participant
It is to be happy, excited and have fun when I am sober!
Being sober gives me all the time, energy, and passion to achieve and maximize my goals!
I have broken free from feeling so bad and ashamed because I was not what I knew i could be and what God had wanted me to be!
I have everything I need to create a happy fulfilling and sober life!
I am so passionate about the committed me,I am following through with the path my God has always “nudged” me to pursue!
Giving of my talents,experiences,and life lessons to others.living a fearless determined life of grace and gratitude!
Sharing, helping, and encouraging others with my life lessons and wisdom is now my ultimate goal!
March 16, 2016 at 6:46 am #8463Participant
THANK YOU FOR THIS BREAK THROUGH/THRU/THREW (WE ARE GOING THROUGH IT)/THRU ( BROKE THRU IT) THREW (WE THREW OLD BELIEFS OUT) CHAPTER!!
March 21, 2016 at 11:53 am #8667Participant
Thriving for sobriety gives me a positive outlook
Sobriety makes me communicate better.
Sobriety gives me better mental and physical health.
Sobriety enriches my life and brings meaning and joy.
Being sober brings authentic love into my life. Authentic love from other and authentic love for myself.
March 22, 2016 at 8:04 pm #8745Participant
We need a like button for each other’s amazing posts!
April 3, 2016 at 5:05 pm #9218Participant
I was sober for 20+ years before starting again. It has taken the last 10 years of off and on drinking, then bingeing to try and control.
That drinking solves loneliness and provides a great escape are my two main old beliefs, (I do have a list of 8 though)
New beliefs; In sobriety my days are full of energy and creativity and peace.
Being sober attracts people and situations that are fulfilling and full of purpose.
I really appreciate these forums. The big difference between these posts and the things one hears at “meetings” is the upbeat, positive outlook from everyone!
Day 11. 12 days sober.
April 4, 2016 at 4:57 am #9257
you sound just like me!!! 15 years sober then started again and have been fighting with it for the last 20 years…was initially able to moderate then back to drinking every day, then back to 3-4 glasses of wine every day, then sometimes the bottle. I did make it for 17 days on this program before things got really rough in my family…I completed it though and starting again…2 days sober. So hard to BELIEVE that I cannot moderate
April 9, 2016 at 8:48 pm #9505Participant
Hey Kitten- I was the same!!! I have been admitted to the hospital eight times because of alcohol related problems. You would think I would have learned something!!!!
April 7, 2016 at 7:17 am #9410Participant
My new beliefs:
LB – wine reduces stress
New:I reduce stress in a number ways, starting with asking myself “What is stressing me and is it really that important” Think it through, then go for a walk or take a bath or have a cappuccino or do some artwork.
LB I enjoy my meals more with wine
New: I enjoy my meals for what they are. I could match with a herbal tea, a soda or just water! ANd occasionally yes 1 glass of wine.
LB – I don’t trust myself so total abstinence is the only answer.
New- I can trust myself. I am strong, accountable and responsible. I can enjoy a glass of wine but can take it or leave it. I know how important my health is.
LB – Wine is health
New: More that 1 or 2 glasses does nothing for your health. Feeling unwell or tired next day is never worth more than thinking I need more wine!
LB – it is hard.
New – I am disciplined, accountable, responsible, determined and self-reliant. I am having fun by being aware of my health.
May 8, 2016 at 9:30 am #10880Participant
Day 11 and day 7 sober for me. Your new beliefs really hit home for me! I share each and every one!
Thank you for sharing.
April 7, 2016 at 9:59 pm #9444Participant
I have plenty of time, money, resources, & energy to achieve my goals.
I deserve to have an abundance of love, comfort, joy, fun, freedom, & happiness because I add value to other peoples’ lives.
I can relax and relieve stress in many different ways such as, leisure walking, meditation, earthing and being in nature, and drinking sparkling water.
People enjoy my presence and find me to be fun and entertaining at social situations. I always get invited to parties and get togethers.
April 8, 2016 at 2:52 am #9450Participant
To reduce stress I will spend more time in the ocean and exercising in a healthy way. I will keep my mind clear to address problems as they arise.
I am equipped to thrive in sobriety and can use the power of the actions to overcome anything which has previously held me back.
I will stay healthy through exercise and eating properly.
I am able to have a fun and happy life with my friends and family sober, and remembering the conversations and connections will give me pleasure in sobriety.
It is easier to be happy and excited in life when sober. I can strive for goals with focus, and be satisfied as I achieve each one in all aspects of my life.
April 9, 2016 at 4:29 pm #9498Participant
Wow! So good to read all of the old and new beliefs so many shared. This program provides space for each of us to explore new ways of thinking and being. (It does seem more positive than some of the meetings, as someone said.)
My old pattern was to bottle things up until it felt too stressful, then I would drink too much. No more falling for, or into, that old trap! Now is the time to discover, or rediscover, the inherent strength of slowing down and believing that calmness is actually within and waiting to be accessed. I don’t have to reach for answers outside of myself and in a bottle.
April 9, 2016 at 8:42 pm #9504Participant
Old belief: Someone hurt my feelings or upset me so I am going to have a drink to calm down.
New belief: Someone hurt my feelings or upset me so I am going to do my tapping and drink some diet coke with lime.
I always ran to the bottle of wine when I felt upset or overwhelmed. I even did it while at work- just ran outside and went for a glass of wine during my break time. What calms you down when you are hurt or upset? Any suggestions? I would appreciate them!
April 11, 2016 at 3:30 pm #9601Participant
Here are mine:
Old/limiting belief: Getting sober is too hard
New belief: Creating the life I want and being the person I want to be is already happening, and it’s easier than I ever thought it would be.
Old/limiting belief: Drinking gives me freedom, and if I stop drinking, I will lose my freedom. I don’t like anyone telling me what I can and cannot do.
New belief: Now that I’m thriving in sobriety, I enjoy all the freedom that I have ever dreamed of.
Old/limiting belief: I’ll miss the reward
New belief: Thriving in sobriety is the best reward there is.
Old/limiting belief: I just never thought I’d be someone who doesn’t drink.
New belief: My self-concept is constantly evolving, and I’m becoming the person I want to be now and in the future.
Old/limiting belief: I’ll feel more depressed and/or lonely
New belief: I feel better and better by looking after myself and meeting new people.
Old/limiting belief: I’ll never be able to stop drinking because I suffer from depression and anxiety.
New belief: Thriving in sobriety means a life filled with joy and courage.
April 12, 2016 at 9:23 pm #9650Participant
Old belief: Drinking reduces stress.
New belief: I am less stressed when I’m sober because I’m at peace with myself and able to handle life’s bumps in the road.
Old belief: I can’t be a normal drinker.
New belief: I will try this on when I’m fully ready to. I have the freedom to choose when.
Old belief: Alcoholics are losers.
New belief: I have compassion for anyone suffering. I have walked a mile in those shoes and I can appreciate that.
Old belief: Drinking wine is healthy.
New belief: I am healthier now that I am sober. I love to be able to plan or be spontaneous to invitations for exercising and socializing.
April 23, 2016 at 10:41 am #10085
Eureka moment – I don’t get drunk in public. I can drink 2 glasses or wine or 2 pints of beer and always stop without remorse.
If I get drunk it only happens in private never in public i.e. my purpose of drinking in private is different than drinking in public. In public I have social “intimacy, lack of boredom, lack of numbness, fun
I can peacefully control a sense of overwhelm without alcohol
I can peacefully relieve boredom, numbness or lack of inimacy without alcohol
I can have fun without alcohol, including cooking without drinking massive quantites of alcohol
I can stop drinking privately the same way I do it publicly if I don’t connect alcohol to overcoming overwhelm, boredom, numbness or lack of intimacy.
I can drink socially at home with my wife who is always sober when feeling, bored, numb or under-stimulated
I can drink water, juice, green tea, regular tea or non-alcoholic beer instead of wine
April 23, 2016 at 12:39 pm #10095
April 23, 2016 at 12:55 pm #10097
thank you ground hog
April 24, 2016 at 11:18 am #10126
I tested my Eureka moment to see if it was true:
Drank one glass white wine socially
then one glass of my favourite sherry in private 30 minutes later
Then stopped drinking with no remorse and no buzz totally sober
This tells me I can be sober if I focus
Next challenge which I’ll save for awhile, e.g. after 30 days:
Can I cook sober without getting buzzed non-frantic about wine tasting?
May 14, 2016 at 7:33 am #11106Participant
I love all the posts. Can relate to so many of them. Yesterday,while biking, I thought if I feel this good without drinking why would I take it up again? I am sleeping, waking up refreshed boy what a perk. At this time it will have to be all or none, I slide down that slippery slope. Maybe some year I can try the take it or leave approach.
May 26, 2016 at 11:29 am #11522Participant
You are very open and brave. I admire that!
May 29, 2016 at 8:31 am #11599Participant
This day 11 has been the most difficult yet. It really helps to have others share their new beliefs. I am still struggling with mine.
June 9, 2016 at 12:12 am #11928Participant
1. I feel proud when I chose healthy ways to reduce stress and lower pain and anxiety.
2. I have a blossoming, wholesome, open, and loving personality that delights in living
congruently with its core values; I am addicted to deepening self-awareness and positive, encouraging affirmations.
3. Staying sober, with 100% commitment, is a breeze and a joy. What a piece of cake that I can have and eat too!
4. In sobriety, I am happy and excited. I am eager to embrace everything that my SOBER life brings my way.
5. I love the taste of everything that is free from alcohol; I abhor the taste and smell of anything alcoholic.
6. I am totally open, honest, and transparent with nothing to hide.
7. I enjoy an even closer relationship with hubby because I am totally present in, and able to enjoy, every moment we are together.
8. The disease of alcoholism is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given.
June 24, 2016 at 8:58 pm #12254Participant
I’m charming, funny, engaging, calm and easy going when I’m sober.
I am creative and productive when I’m sober.
I relate to others more effectively in both my personal and professional life when sober.
I am open with my feelings, thoughts and love when sober.
Laugh louder, love deeper, connect completely, be present.
July 7, 2016 at 7:38 am #12453Participant
I came up with four Limiting Beliefs:
** I know, looks like a copy-cat but these are what I feel.
1. Getting sober is too difficult – I cannot do it.
* I can get sober with the right mind attitude and beliefs system (and support).
2. I have no outlet to relax without alcohol (life is boring)
* Life is sometimes boring. I will learn to embrace the bring part and learn from it. It is challenging but also possible.
3. I can’t handle the cravings as they are constant and forever more.
* I can handle the cravings with the right mind set. Feel the cravings (make the craving a part of who I am) and welcome them then move on past them.
4. My life feels too empty and alcohol fills that space
* My life is empty at times. Everyone has an empty life until it gets filled with social love and acceptance.
November 7, 2016 at 9:49 am #14954Participant
I drink to relieve stress. Truth is – drinking causes may more stress than it relievesl
I like the feeling of the “buzz”. Truth is – that only lasts a very short time and then ….. well I know what happens to me. Difficult to stop once I start.
Getting sober is hard. Yes, it is. But so is living a life of lies and deceit. I have accomplished hard things before in my life. I can accomplish this!!!
November 7, 2016 at 9:50 am #14955Participant
I drink to relieve stress. Truth is – drinking causes may more stress than it relieves!
I like the feeling of the “buzz”. Truth is – that only lasts a very short time and then ….. well I know what happens to me. Difficult to stop once I start.
Getting sober is hard. Yes, it is. But so is living a life of lies and deceit. I have accomplished hard things before in my life. I can accomplish this!!!
August 31, 2016 at 8:24 am #13421Participant
I signed up for yoga classes before I started my 30 days. Now I go to yoga at night and on weekends. Having something constructive to do, already scheduled and paid for, has been really helpful.
October 3, 2016 at 5:38 pm #14091Participant
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October 4, 2016 at 9:51 am #14102Participant
-Life isn’t as fun without wine –
So being hungover the majority of the time is fun? I feel so much better since I haven’t been drinking and love waking up feeling refreshed and happy!
-Drinking reduces stress-
Drinking actually causes me more stress in life. Since I stopped drinking I feel relaxed, happy and am clear headed. I think positive thoughts and am excited about personal goals, helping people and being in service. I am feeling peace and serentity.
-Sex and sobriety suck. I don’t get turned on unless I’m drinking.-
Truth is, I never orgasm when I’m having drunk sex. My inhibitions may be lower but i’m sloppy, have bad wine breath and slur my speech. I am sexier sober.
-Drinking gives me freedom and if I stop drinking, I will lose my freedom. I don’t like anyone telling me what I can and cannot do.-
I made this decision all on my own. I am outgoing, fun and talkative without alcohol I am fun sober and I have made this choice to thrive in sobriety because it makes me feel better as a person.
-Everyone drinks. I will be an outcast.-
Only 25% of the population drinks excessively and my friends have attracted one another bc we drink and it’s basically the only thing we have in common with one another. I am going to tap into the other 75% of the population of people out there and make friends with them. I am sure they are happy people 🙂
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January 30, 2017 at 9:02 am #16133
New Beliefs to Thrive in Sobriety
I can peacefully relax without alcohol while sober having done it successfully for the last 11 days
I can be intimate without alcohol via lack of depression and fatigue due to a healthy, clean, functional liver
I can have fun without alcohol
I can stop drinking privately in excess the same way I always do it publicly
I can drink water, juice, green tea, regular tea or non-alcoholic beer instead of wine. Non-alcoholic beer tastes fine.
I can taste and enjoy wine by spitting some or all of it while I’m handling it as a winemaker because I’ve done it many times successfully, e.g. such as yesterday when siphoning over 200 bottles of sherry without swallowing any of it
February 3, 2017 at 12:37 pm #16186Participant
My sobriety makes me more authentic and present with my family, friends and students. Being sober gives me all the time and energy I need to identify healthier options to handle stressful situations.
Being sober allows me to choose beverages that I have never experienced before that will support my healthy mind and body.
My sobriety allows me to be authentically me. I have everything I need to choose to create a healthy and happy fulfilling sober life.
I have all I need to create a successful, generous and loving happy sober life.
I am as young as I shall ever be and every day is a gift in which I can choose to successfully thrive in sobriety.
February 16, 2017 at 12:16 pm #16422
Being sober is the only state that is in agreement with my core values. Period.
April 11, 2017 at 1:17 am #17219Participant
I have been drinking since I was 14, so over 32 years I’ve developed an alcohol problem. The last 10 have been fairly bad.
I’ve left my limiting beliefs there to remind me. It’s been great to read some posts from others.
1. Drinking reduces my stress after a hard day and any conflict or hassle at home.
It is less stressful on my health and relationships being sober.
2. I’m not fun or likeable to be around when I’m not drinking.
It is easier to be happy, fun and excited when I’m sober.
3. Getting sober is too hard, I‘ve failed before so why bother.
It is a challenge, you can get through this. I’m now at D11 and have coped so far, it will get easier.
4. It’s not going to be a happy life if I’m sober, it’ll be boring.
I can be sober and have a happy life, full of meaning and joy.
5. I drink to feel loved and connected.
I’m more engaged and able to feel real love when I’m sober.
6. Most people drink, and at least as much as I do.
I’m not most people and I have had enough.
April 18, 2017 at 3:07 pm #17378Participant
Thaine your post was inspirational to me big time! I am now on day #11 and I read everyone of your old limiting beliefs and your NEW ENTHUSIASTIC POSITIVE beliefs!!! I so agree with you that reading the posts of others is very helpful. Though you are one week ahead of me (I am guessing you are on your day #18 WAY TO GO WOOOHOOOO!) your post from day #11 helped me on my day #11. Also, like you, I have over 30 years of progressively worse problem drinking…this program is helping immensely and though it is a big challenge each day and especially during after work hours, the support online is critical! I am still amazed I now have 10 sober nights and conquered two entire weekends on the track to being a Thriver of Sobriety. Your last line “I’m not most people and I have had enough” is particularly powerful!
Again – way to go Thaine!
May 21, 2017 at 11:48 pm #17859Participant
All theses responses have been very helpful and encouraging!
May 21, 2017 at 11:54 pm #17860
July 24, 2017 at 8:09 pm #18508Participant
Sobriety makes it easy to relax. I am much calmer.
The pub and LCBO are jails. Sober, I am free to do things, go places and make plans.
I love vacationing sober. I authentically relax and have fun with my family.
I am sexy sober! 🙂
Sober, I am a lifelong learner with more disposable income.
Many sober people are wise, compassionate and insightful people.
July 24, 2017 at 11:42 pm #18509
October 24, 2017 at 7:54 pm #19323Participant
Lies I tell myself.
1.Quitting is too tough, I can never get past stopping at the grocery store on the way home. PLAN A NEW ROUTE HOME.
2.im boring and too shy when I’m out if I don’t have a drink, or 2 or 3. I GOT NOTHING, I AM WHAT I AM.
3. How will I relax when I get home from work? WORKOUT, DO YOGA. WALK THE DOG
4. I’m a bitch to everyone when I try to quit. APOLOGIZE, BUT KEEP IT UP.
5 I’ll quit tomorrow. JUST GET THROUGH THIS ONE DAY.
November 3, 2017 at 9:07 pm #19382Participant
Katwoman1207 I love your number 5. I’ll quit tomorrow. It’s so essential to the denial. I’ll quit tomorrow, I’ll change tomorrow, I’ll deal with this tomorrow, I’ll get real with myself tomorrow. AND TOMORROW NEVER COMES!
Here’s to today!
November 3, 2017 at 9:22 pm #19383
Friend each other by tapping on the person’s screen name!
November 3, 2017 at 9:00 pm #19381Participant
My new beliefs:
My ability to connect with others arises from my willingness to take risks and reach out to others and be my authentic self. I enjoy the give and take of social interaction with and without alcohol.
I achieve my goals of sobriety and easily side step the temptations of living with a daily drinker by diligent daily/weekly planning and creatively employing strategies to moderate drinking, and doing the emotional work that supports my health and happiness.
I find peace and relaxation through healthy habits such as meditation, hot tea, a fire, yoga, or finding a quiet place to check in with myself.
I’m more aware and alive in sobriety and that infuses my personal and social worlds with new interests, experiences and excitement.
I express my sexuality freely with my husband in sobriety. Candlelight, massages and being close enhance our sensuality and joy!
On day 12 sober!
December 3, 2017 at 2:24 pm #19671Participant
One of my “limiting beliefs” is that I can’t quit/moderate my alcohol use because my spouse drinks just about every day and really loves to dink on our vacations. I appreciate your statement susanne about how you deal with that situation. I have been meditating now for almost a year and love doing yoga. My husband and I are both into mountain biking so it is actually in aur best interest not to drink. Kind of hard to mountain bike hungover. anyway- I am on day 25 sober and day 11 of the book. I am really excited for this change in my life.
February 2, 2018 at 3:18 am #20151Participant
Please let me know if I’m on the right page with this concept. I’m on Phase 2 Day 11.
1. Limiting Belief- Drinking reduces my daily stress life so I can’t stop drinking.
New Belief: Even though I still have stress my stress life is so much better with out drinking. I’m able to think things clearly and make better decisions in my which ultimately lead to less stress.
2.L-B: I decided to switch from drinking beer to drinking wine now because wine is healthier and I don’t feel as full.
N-B : I realize that whether I’m drinking wine or beer its still alcohol and the truth is that alcohol is a poison and neither wine nor beer are better then the other. Instead I’ve decided to drink nonalcoholic cocktails so I can still fit in when I find myself among a group of friends.
3. L-B: I can’t stop drinking alcohol because I have an addictive personality and I’m afraid to quit drinking.
N-B: I can stop drinking alcohol even though I have an addictive personality its my choice to thrive in sobriety and so far i have because I have put my mind to it and benefit my core values.
4. L-B: I’m going to have a hard time being a “normal drinker” because I believe that that complete abstinence is the only thing that works for problem drinkers like myself.
N-B: Its easier and a lot more fun to experience happiness and excitement and maybe have a drink or two here and there or on special occasions because i have trained myself to follow my core values and be true to myself and don’t over do it.
5. L-B: I wont be able to stop drinking anytime soon no matter what i do because if i dont drink i feel my anxiety won’t go away and if I do drink my anxiety seems to disappear and its easier to socialize with others instead of feeling afraid.
N-B: I realize that the alcohol is only making my anxiety worse because when I’m sober my anxiety still feels out of control because of the alcohol thats still in my system. Also drinking causes people with anxiety to become more anxious so I choose to stop masking my anxiety with alcohol because its only making my social anxiety feel most akward and its harder to cope with. Staying sober has really made a difference with feeling anxious and being able to socialize without the alcohol its like a placebo effect.
Please give me feed back on my new beliefs and let me know what other thoughts you might have about this solution. thank you kindly.
February 2, 2018 at 8:49 am #20152
Hi @jeba69. Great post!
Feedback: I don’t think that you necessarily have an “addictive personality “. ALCOHOL is addictive and some folks are more vulnerable and sensitive.
As to the stress relief and anxiety, Alcohol just postpones dealing and makes things worse by doing so.
If you post under the most recent topic on each Day’s Forums, you’ll be seen by more people currently active. Or you can start your own Topic!
July 17, 2018 at 6:32 am #119628Participant
I’m just a participant in this program. You did a great job, you have positive, motivating outcomes. I have been going to AA for over a year and relapsed so I personally know I learned my lesson I have to keep Abstinent from alcohol. I just got back into my old routines. I wish I could one day be a normal drinker but for now and the far future staying sober is my goal.
July 25, 2018 at 6:40 pm #119853Participant
My New Beliefs:
1) My sobriety will actually decrease my stress. Being sober I will be able to pursue mindful meditation, Buddhist practices, and exercise programs to reduce stress holistically.
2) Being sober I will be able to be fully present and authentic with friends, family, coworkers. I will be a better lover, friend, sister, employee.
3) My partner will prefer a sober me as I will be healthier, both physically and emotionally, with a vitality that comes from within and not from a bottle
Just a note on cravings:
I am of course writing 2 years after some of the posters, but if anyone follows after me—
I really really really REALLY wanted to drink a few days ago when I learned of a mass shooting that happened in my old neighbourhood. I even thought about how I could get a bottle, drink it, and dispose of the bottle before my partner found out. However, instead of doing that, I ate a brownie. Now, I normally do not eat sweets (being more a salt person—potato chips, yum!) but I ate one brownie, and also looked at my affirmation and other writings (“new you”) etc., and the craving passed. The authors talk about eating sugar (very sparingly of course) as one means to help maintain your blood sugar. Alcohol contains sugar, so if you suddenly stop drinking alcohol you are going to have a sugar craving. Of course one has to be careful–don’t eat a bucket of M&Ms… Right now cherries are in season, so I’ve been snacking on them… they are like candies.
As for those of you who associate the mixing of cocktails as fun – I miss the ritual of making myself a drink in a special glass— so I have replaced it with making a special cocktail that is nonalcoholic (ice, soda, fruit juice, fresh lemon/lime, sprig of mint). And serve in a nice glass of course. In fact, why not buy some pretty glasses?
July 26, 2018 at 8:36 am #119857Participant
@darkcitydame … this is such an excellent post also. True, true, true.
@Just me … your post looks like it’s from 2 years ago(?). Are you still in the same place of cravings? I hope not. You are right, though, this is a kind of war with an enemy. We are formidable, too! Keep at it!
July 29, 2018 at 5:58 pm #119946Participant
It’ss nice to learn that there are people active on this site in July 2018.
I just returned from dinner with my in-laws. Everyone was drinking. As the evening wore on, I found myself feeling more and more tempted. At one point, my mother-in-law left the room, leaving me alone with her glass of wine. I stared at that glass… thought to myself that I could take a swig and no one would notice! But I chose not to. Phew. Now I’m home, going to do some tapping and review visualizations. I haven’t been this long without drinking in probably 10 years. That in itself is exciting….makes me want to keep going.
September 8, 2018 at 12:16 pm #120774Participant
I’m just about finished with the first 30 days and must say that the most important thing I have been working through, I first started learning about in Chapter 11. I come from a long line of drinkers. When my sister became a raging alcoholic, it was said that she had a “disease” and it was part of my family’s history. Sounded right to me. I can name many relatives that had drinking problems. When I started this latest journey, I dug out my mother’s 12 Step information, her one-day-at-a-time daily devotional, her story, etc. I attended AA meetings with her as a teenager. None of the literature had helped me in the past and it still didn’t make sense to me. All through my journal, I ask questions and/or make statements about the genetic component of problem drinking and alcoholism as a disease. Am I genetically predisposed by some magic medical mumbo jumbo to be an alcoholic? As I progressed through the chapters, I realized that this was a MAJOR limiting belief for me! I read Stanton Peele’s article (Chapter 11, Footnote 8), read his book “Recover!, and followed links to like-minded articles. Here is a quote that sums it all up, “…reject the notion of an incurable disease and instead harness and fortify your own resources.” And, “You are the locus of addiction, not a substance, not a disease, not an outside force.”
September 20, 2018 at 7:03 am #120846Participant
With Sobriety I have happiness, laughter, daftness and joy.
With Sobriety I have an amazing career and lots of Money.
With Sobriety I have increased my gratitude, mindfulness, peace and tranquility.
With Sobriety I have amazing health, energy, focus and passion. I look and feel amazing.
With Sobriety I have amazing possessions including my beautiful own flat, golf membership, nice girlfriend and an amazing car
July 7, 2016 at 7:40 am #12454Participant
The craving are unreal huh? It is hitting me like a ton of bricks tonight. They will pass in a few minutes my arse — these cravings have kicked in so tightly on day 11 at 1030 p.m. I think I am feeling a hunger I have never known. My mind plays over and over get a few Strongs – Get a few Strongs (enjoy tonight) what is the big deal. It is as if the devil himself has landed on my shoulders.
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