New chapter

This topic contains 11 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by

 
Participant
2 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #120726

    Participant

    It has been about 15 years of drinking for me (some years worse than others.) I am a functioning alcohol abuser and drink after my workday is at done and primary at home. I can go from 0 to black out in about a bottle and a half of wine without the pleasure of a buzz in between. I am a b*tch when I drink and I feel like sh*t almost every morning. I have come to point of “what is the point?” Besides the fact that I am getting older and the toll of my toxic lifestyle is wearing on me. I look forward to this new chapter in my life. I just hope I’m not too late.

  • #120727

    Participant

    Its never too late for a new chapter. I know what you mean of 0 to black out , I experience the same. I have been drinking for many years too. Quite successfully also. I can keep it all together it’s kinda like herding cats, but I think I got it.
    Hang in there. Were worth it

  • #120818

    Participant

    Sounds very familiar and similar to me. However, things are beginning to catch up and crumble…. This is not what I want from my life, yet I still seem stuck on the idea that my life will be dull and boring without alcohol. Sadly, I think it already is….
    Hope you are finding success…..

    • #121166

      Participant

      Thanks for this post. I’m on day one and have owned the book over a year. Hearing you say, “sadly, it already is” was the wake up call I needed. Mine is very boring, too. I need to cut it out. I have so much going for me and being a high functioning alcohol abuser is really sad and such a waste. Looking forward to the 30 days ahead and am also very nervous I’ll figure out how to excuse myself.
      I have to do this. Last night my husband texted me “you’re drinking has become a problem!!!!” After he found me stumbling around the house after he had gone to bed. I feel disgusted with myself.

      • #121173

        Participant

        jc123, I’m on Day 1 also. 11/1/2018 is a perfect start date I think. No need for the disgust that you describe. Disgust is not a useful emotion, IMO. I think instead you should feel relieved that your husband loves you enough to call you out on your drinking. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and my dad never called her out on it, just turned a blind eye, and she eventually died from her alcoholism.

  • #120820

    Participant

    It’s just gotten old for me. Tired of the same story over and over. Booklover, what you said about it already being dull and boring resonated with me.

  • #120964

    Participant

    I am 58, and have been moderate drinking all my life, but heavy drinking over the last 8 years. I have been using it (abusing it) to cope with family stress. I worked with a therapist last year who specializes in alcohol abuse. She was a great listener to everything I’ve been through, but ultimately did not understand that my ultimate goal was moderation, not complete abstinence.

    But, for the next 30 days I will do abstinence, and just see where that leads me.

    I actually think my life will be more interesting without alcohol! I have recently taken up painting and writing, but am too buzzed and tired at night to do any of it. So, I’m looking forward to having more energy at night to continue my path in art/writing/music.

    Hugs

    • #121108

      Participant

      I am 56, been drinking but functional for the most part my whole life. I am on Day 1, and all I can think about are the events that I have coming up, and how will I have the strength to stay committed to this program. I am tired of buying alcohol, hiding it in water bottles, forgetting where I hid it the next morning, and beating my self up for doing it. I am a mother of four, and grandmother of two…, work full time. Most every morning I wake up feeling miserable, looking bloated, swearing I won’t drink today, then it’s getting close to 4 and all I can think about is taking that first sip.

      • #121109

        Participant

        Welcome aboard the Sober Coaster @freebird. It can be confusing to say the least, how your outlook changes in a 12 hour period. I chalk it up to the Addictive nature of alcohol and the force of habit.
        I hope you find the strength to weather the storm and take the first step.
        Onward! Sina

      • #121172

        Participant

        Freebird, I’m 56 as well, and hoping to make it to 96, but I know it’s not gonna happen if I keep drinking. Nothing, except maybe cigarettes, ages the body quicker than alcohol. Also, as I learned recently while working on my Masters degree, alcohol also increases cancer risk by anywhere from 30-200%. I think that an alcoholic who dies in their sleep or from choking on their own vomit after a blackout got off easy. There are worse things than death that can be attributed to alcohol abuse, IMHO. Hang in there and just work the program one day at a time. My own plan is to stay so busy working on my sobriety that I won’t have any TIME to drink!

    • #121115

      Participant

      @freebird I hear you! Hope you are doing ok. I have hid it in a baby bottle once during a family funeral and I’m so lucky it didn’t turn out that my son got a hold of it. Beat myself up real good for that one. If you can get past the “witching hour” I call it, it helps. Others here have recommended “Urge Surfing” videos on YouTube…or just look it up. I am trying to incorporate some of that.

      I am 51 and started the program 2 weeks ago. I slipped …twice….but I have started back up after each time and I feel stronger everytime I’ve managed to get back to the book. Do the exercises recommended. Journal! It really helps pound it into your psyche. I haven’t gone 30 days AF since I was pregnant with my son and that was 12 years ago…Kind of excited to see what happens.

      Strength to you!

  • #121171

    Participant

    Michele, if you’re still breathing in and out, then it’s not too late. My suggestion is to treat this 30-day program like a second job, one that will greatly improve your overall quality of life, but without collecting a paycheck.

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