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2 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #17382


    I spent a lot of time on this chapter working through the negative thinking traps. As a child and even as a young adult, I always accepted thing as they happened and rolled with the punches. My father was a perfectionist at work and was the same with any project that we did at home. From a very young age, I would watch him do projects, while drinking, and he would become very upset when things didn’t turn out perfect. Sometimes this would last a few hours, sometimes several days. I don’t recall at what point in my life I became like my father. I don’t blame him, I am responsible for my own beliefs and actions. Being a perfectionist serves me well at work because it makes me work harder, but it brings negativity into my personal life. I get frustrated on vacations, weekend, or even when we are just having “family time” and things don’t go as planned. There is an underlying current with my marriage that makes me feel that I am not a good enough father or husband and drinking has been my escape from that for many years. One of my “new beliefs” from day 11 is that I will bring joy and passion back into my marriage. This will only be accomplished through sobriety and focusing on living life vs. just getting through it. Recognizing negative thinking early and creating positive thoughts will require patience – but I’m sure my family will be all in for giving me their “support” with it!

  • #17384


    brighterdays . . . seems like darn good self reflections. I know drinking all but tanked my marriage. Strange how alcohol starts out as a kind of friend and then over time morphs into a sort of “hound from hell.” At least it did for me. Speaking for myself, it twisted my thinking and reflective sides all kinds of sideways.

    Wishing you the absolute best going forward. Especially when you say: “I will bring joy and passion back into my marriage.” That seems to be the bedrock for any loving relationship. (Even if we live alone, it seems we need to find joy & passion for living.)

    May you see and know yourself and your wife through new eyes and heart.

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