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February 10, 2017 at 2:56 pm #16318Participant
Not sure where this belongs in the Daily Solutions so thought I would post it here. I am working through Day 18 – The Affirmation Solution. I have always resisted affirmations and formal goal-setting even though I am very goal oriented. As I struggled with todays steps, I revisited some of my old journal entries and happened upon this gem from about 6 years ago. This was written during a time of emotional upheaval and yes I was using copious amounts of cabernet to deal. The clarity with which I saw what I wanted struck me deeply today so I thought I would share:
“This is where the quiet time becomes so important. I have not been able to quiet my mind for weeks. It churns and churns and churns, even in meditation and savasana and my restorative poses. It is hard to hear the Heart over the mind; but I yearn to listen to my Heart – it will guide me here as I step boldly out of my box and into the woman I am – the one who is waiting out there, holding her hand out to me, she wants to grab my hand and pull me forward, but she cannot; it is something I must do on my own, step into my Authentic Self. I can see her: she is radiant, surrounded by Light; she is so at ease in her body and her Voice; she is healthy physically and emotionally, she wears proudly the face that her life of sorrow and joy has created; she moves with grace and ease in the material world, touching all who cross her path with her Love. She is M*&^% – I am Her, She is waiting for me, yearning to merge with me…
I need to stop being a good girl, a sweet girl and allow the voice of the Authentic Woman that I am come thru. That is where the songs are, that is where the melodies and harmonies are – they are waiting for the dam to burst; they are waiting for me to relinquish control.
So, what does M*&*% want? a simple, clean, uncluttered life. Quiet, music, creativity, yoga, friends, good food and books and conversation; sharing experiences with new people, learning about other people and what makes them tick, easing the pain of people I care about; finding God…
Oh, and PS – you don’t have to make yourself a victim to be attractive to anybody else. That is not the M&*%$ that ***** first responded to, so cut it out. I am not a victim; I am strong and powerful beyond belief, talented, wise, beautiful, kind, generous, smart. I can take care of myself and I do not need a man to take care of me or to make me whole.”
Huh, who knew it would take another 6 years to begin the work! Grateful to be here now!
February 10, 2017 at 8:16 pm #16321Participant
It takes as long as it takes, and Congratulations on your continuing Sobriety! I friended you on your profile page which you can access by tapping on “Where to?” above and scrolling down to it. Keep posting! Sina
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