Share how you are going to avoid your decision fatigue with others.

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  • #4596

    You can strengthen and validate your process by sharing some of the ways you are going to avoid decision fatigue in today’s forum thread Day 8 Forum – Avoid Decision Fatigue. By sharing your own ideas about how to keep your willpower strong, you will recommit to yourself and your goal of thriving in sobriety.

    SELF-NURTURING ACTIVITIES TO DO INSTEAD OF DRINKING: Reply to this thread with a couple of self-nurturing activities that you can do instead of drinking. You might find some great ideas to help you as well as inspire others with your list.

  • #5925


    For me, listening to the audiobook, and journaling/doing the action steps will work best in the morning. In the evenings, at drinking time, I am planning on allowing myself some kind of indulgence — especially since we don’t have to cut sugar at the same time. Last night, I had a coffee and a few M&Ms. While I don’t usually like to “reward” myself with food, I am going to loosen up my standards a bit!! I am also thinking that I could do some light yoga/stretching during my children’s bedtime routine.

    • #5931

      It sounds like you know what will work best for you, which is a goal we all strive towards. At least for the next couple of weeks, we definitely recommend not cutting out sugar, so rewarding yourself with some sweets at the end of the day is a good plan. Good job and keep taking great care of yourself!

  • #6016


    I think being prepared it really helpful. Since starting, I’ve looked up non-alcoholic drinks so I have options available when I go out. Recently, I’ve enjoyed diet tonic water/lime which I pour into a wine glass. Funny that I can only drink two of those but boy-oh-oh could I suck down the wine (two glasses would have been only the beginning!).

    It was a relief to hear that I didn’t have to watch my sugar intake. I really agree with the idea of concentrating on only this sobriety goal right now. In the past, I would vow to quit drinking, at the same time I started a diet and exercise plan. It’s hard to hit three targets at the same time and so it never worked.

    For the time being, I am avoiding situations involving alcohol so I can get more time and space between my last glass of wine. My husband doesn’t drink (just never did, imagine that!) so he makes it really easy for me.

    The daily work absolutely makes a difference because it give me continuous, fresh reinforcement that this is one of the most empowering choices I’ve ever made.

  • #6082


    I’m basically using the goals we set earlier as my blueprint for this. My plan is to keep myself preoccupied with cooking dinners. I’ve also been reading my next chapter and writing in my journal starting around 4. My witching hour was 5. I figured I’d get a head start on it to stop any thoughts before they even started. If I did get a craving, my last resort was going to play video games. It may sound funny, but it works. I can get so immersed in a game, before I know it, its 7 and I’m past the danger zone. Its not something I plan to do on a regular basis because that isolates me from the family, but on occasion I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. Plus the boys like to heckle my skills! lol

    So far, reading the chapter, writing the work down in my journal, and reviewing the past few days keeps me clear of any cravings or thoughts. I keep that 10 year view of Kirs and myself walking down the beach, happy health and very much in love…that’s what really keeps me going!

  • #6105

    I love reading everybody’s tools they are using to help them thrive-in-sobriety and avoid decision fatigue. We all need tools to help us get through anything in life, and knowing what works best for you is extremely important. JohnRyhs- it’s great you know your “witching hour” and I love your tools of reading and journaling the hour before; what a great way to keep away decision fatigue! Playing video games to get you through those tough days is also a wonderful tool to use.

    Amyd- being prepared ahead of time is SUCH a big help. Great idea to think of some non-alcoholic beverages you’d enjoy prior to having that craving. And giving yourself some space between situations with alcohol and your last glass of wine shows that you really know what you need. Great job!

  • #6313


    Wow -this one is the toughest for me as my drinking problem really evolved out of “habit.” I mean – what do people DO at the end of the day besides have a glass-couple of glasses-bottle of wine!? I’ve actually kept my routine the same but I do put SF Ginger Ale in a wine glass (it tastes just like a cheap dessert wine so I only have one) and have not had any issues. I spend a lot of time preparing meals each night and also have started to indulge in a little treat each night (which works against my weight-loss goals but I know…one thing at a time). I’m SUPER excited to be starting Phase II as I know I’ll be in more challenging situations this weekend but feel confident that I can rely on my time-travel exercise. I’d like to work out in the PM’s but feel bad leaving when my husband and son are just getting home. I’ll change it up more if need be but for now – I’m managing surprisingly well.

  • #6394


    I have to admit I had some tough moments today. It was a long Sunday, and returning home from the weekend at my boyfriend’s house (he rarely drinks and then it’s exactly one glass of wine so that makes his place a really good place for me), I was faced with an entire evening of me and my dog and not enough structure. We took a walk in the park, and then I mixed some club soda with cranberry juice and lime and it was great. Reading the book and answering the questions after preparing dinner kept me occupied. I am finding that if I remind myself that the hard moments will pass, the craving to drink the usual bottle of wine abates, and I’m feeling strong again. Entering into Phase II I am noticing my eyes look so clear, and the bone structure in my face is more pronounced. Not a bad side effect at all…

  • #6511


    i am so committed now AND i’ve told some key people that i’m taking a break from alcohol that so far that feels good for me. herb tea is my go to for stress relief and unwinding instead of alcohol.

  • #6705


    My “practice” was to buy large bottles of white wine and only drink at home. So, with no wine in the house, little opportunity for decision fatigue to kick in. Now, to keep the wine out of the house, I’ve decided to take someone shopping with me when I need to go to the stores where I’ve purchased my wine in the past.

  • #6806


    I find that if I come home from work to prepped meals I am good to go. I have spent my Sundays over the last few years cooking for the week. Knowing that all I have to do is heat up some homemade soup and dress a salad takes me right to the kitchen for dinner. Once I eat I’m fine- all my cravings go away and I am excited about the evening, reading, blogging and crawling into my insanely comfortable bed. This works for me. The unorganized weeks make me crazy. If I am away for the weekend and get home late Sunday the week tends to be hectic which brings stress which leads to drinking. The worst part of this is how I need to be so structured for this to work. It takes the fun out of my life – but I understand that I have had enough fun. It is what it is now. Plus alcohol makes me fat and old looking- I just can’t have that!

  • #6822


    I was prepared for the inevitable. After a week, my wife, who is drinker, asked “a glass of wine?” and I politely declined. Then I was ready. She asked in a tone of concern,”Are you not drinking any more?” and I immediately responded with my rehearsed line, “I’m taking a break.” Nothing more said.

    Tough moment especially in her tone indicating that something’s wrong by my refusal.

    • #6825


      Yay! Such a great idea to have rehearsed the conversation. I was nervous about stating I was abstaining but it went better then I thought. Congrats to you!

    • #9467


      Good stuff @dcjohn!

    • #18024


      I’m just curious how did it go with your wife who was questioning you on if you quit drinking forever ? I see your post was from last year

      • #18026


        Hey @grimm1390 you can go to the person’s screen name(tap on it) and leave them a message. You can see from there (their Profile page) when they last posted and leave them a PM

  • #6954


    This would be for red wine enthusiasts.
    It’s a double bonus! I’ve been pouring Tart Cherry juice into a nice wine glass(Knudsen’s Just Tart Cherry). It looks close to a Cab. and it’s tart enough that it’s not too sweet. The double bonus is that Tart Cherry juice reportedly, in studies, helps with sleep. I know some of the posts have people concerned about sleep. It’s been on sale at Sprouts this week $2 off. I’d say it costs what an inexpensive bottle of wine costs. This has actually been fun and helpful for me. Cheers! *on day 14!!!!! 🙂 Congrats to everyone… we’ve got this!

  • #7115


    My plan is to do the action steps when I get home from work. I also am not carrying money to work so that I can’t buy a bottle of wine on the way home. I avoid grocery stories by buying food in the morning when my will power is strongest. I have treats in the house and I can grab those when I am feeling week.

    • #7122

      You’re really giving yourself all the tools you need in order to be successful- great job!

  • #7158


    I like to read the book in the morning and then do the exercises in the early evening when I would normally be drinking. Since by then I’ve done the reading, I feel like I have already started. Doing the exercises help me to decide to do other things than go downstairs and buy beer. (I live in a high rise in China, and it’s way too convenient to buy alcohol.) Also, by knowing I’m going to go home and do the exercises, it helps me to bypass the convenience store in the first place.

    • #8497


      I had a slip on day 8 and drank.
      Last night I was just about to journal about decision fatigue, but I got pulled back into the garden in a frenzy of spring fever. Before I knew it, the “Evil Hour” was upon me, I was hungry, tired, and in a bad mood about something (not sure what!). I should have stopped my work at 4:00, eaten a snack (oranges taste great at this time of day), cleaned up, written in my journal, and eaten dinner.
      Sure enough, I woke up in middle of night with crappy headache, and too wired to get back to sleep.
      I am ready to move on to day 9 – NOT giving up.

      • #9465


        Keep going @milolong, you’ve come this far!
        I slipped twice in the first week, but I’ve just kept going with the program and started my 30-day reboot again.

  • #9070


    There are two occasions when I would allow myself to start drinking. Five p.m. and post exercise times such as skiing or biking. My first and probably most effective coping mechanism is to think beyond the temporary initial euphoria and the attempts to maintain that state with more alcohol which eventually led to dullness, crashing on the couch, poor sleep and feeling crappy in the morning. To deal with the sensation in my mouth that wants a drink I’ve found that tonic water with lime juice and a splash of green olive juice works and so
    does a n.a. beer. Curiously so does a salad. Perhaps there is a slight dehydration issue at work and maybe low blood sugar.

    It continues to pleasantly surprise me how well this 30 day program is hitting the right points and working for me. Thank you!

    • #9075


      I am in such positive company in the forums! It is inspiring.
      I meditate before making dinner which is a time that I Would sneak several drinks. My husband can have wine or a drink without having to drink to excess. He had asked me numerous times why I can’t just quit?. But he has taken away all the alcohol in the house and that is a big help with temptation. I read the next chapter in the evening (i am clear headed). And then start the day with the solutions (clear headed!). I walk by my alcohol hiding places and smile with my success!

      • #16036



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  • #9289


    I’m spending time with my kids in the afternoon, teaching my youngest to ride a bike. I am only drinking mineral water, as I do not want to fill any kind of glass I would otherwise have alcohol in with some kind of pretend alcoholic drink. I’m not saying it is wrong, it just wouldn’t work for me. I’m trying to break a 25 year habit.

  • #9320


    I’m avoiding the supermarket after work and on my days off. That’s when I would come in all stressed and buy too much wine and drink it! If I need ingredients I will go on mornings when I work or on my lunch break.
    I am loving the mocktails! I toasted the end of my phase 1 with sparkling martinellis. I love seltzer and lemon or lime and I have also made myself a fresh limeade after work a couple of times.
    And I can’t do this all the time because it’s not cheap but I am getting a Thai massage this Thursday night. Yay!

  • #9464


    Strategies to help avoid decision fatigue and complete this 30-day program –

    Getting rid of all the alcohol in the house has already helped.

    By being aware of this phenomenon, so that I can ‘catch it’ when it kicks in in the evening.

    Noting how other people feel, by how they express similar feelings in the forums, about the ‘5 o’clock feeling’ – this helps me a lot to realise that it isn’t just me, and it motivates me to use willpower specifically at this time of day as the ‘danger time’, knowing that I only have to focus on this part of the day. Almost all of my drinking is done in the evening by myself at home, so that’s the time and the situation to be most aware of. This can effectively ‘free up’ the willpower that I might have been using at other times of the day when I don’t need to.

    By leaning to schedule more things to do at that time of the day, even if it’s just to go out for a coffee or a walk.


  • #9642


    When my babies were small, my mom always told me that the hours in the late afternoon to evening were called the “witching hour” because the babies were always so needy and fractious and clingy. I just realized today (after about the 8th doorbell ring between my kids and their friends) that it is MY “witching hour” too, and it lines up perfectly with the idea of “decision fatigue.” I’m tired from a long day at work and then I have to start my “second shift” at home. There’s kids’ homework, laundry, cooking, and on and on. Drinking was how I coped with how overwhelmed the witching hour makes me feel.

    I’m finding new ways to deal with this time frame and the overall fatigue… that don’t include killing the next kid who rings my doorbell. ;P

  • #9863


    I have gathered up all the alcohol in the house and put it in a big box in the shed. Not quite getting rid of it I know, but small steps. Thing is, I am totally and completely, hysterically scared of the dark. There is no way in a blue fit that I would go outside the locked doors of the house after dark and where I live on the south eastern coast of Australia, we are out of daylight saving now, so it is dark early. I live alone and every shadow or noise is suspicious – fear was always one among many of the reasons why I drank – blocking it out. The shed might as well be on Mars after dark. Hopefully, soon I will move everything even further, like give it all to my son in law. I am still doing the steps and journalling from 5 till 7pm and that carries me through the evening. I have a glass of lightly sparkling water at my side always so I am never thirsty, and so far it is all working. Day 9 without alcohol and feeling ok. Today I had a manicure as a small reward for perseverance. I have decided that I will put aside as much money as it would have cost me for wine each week. Half of it will go to a reward, a movie or a book, and the other half goes to a larger saving plan, like maybe a holiday somewhere maybe at the end of a year. Paris is calling!

  • #9865


    I’m new to this but can relate to past attempts at abstinence. One of the things I found interesting was the day 2 remove all alcohol from the house or lock it up. I Was curious because I have a huge problem with drinking but it is ‘only’ wine. I can be in a house filled with spirits, beer and liqueurs and have no desire to drink any of it. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t make me happy because I am incredibly cranky and agitated if there is no wine available so still completely addicted. I guess I just don’t understand the nature of it yet.

  • #9958


    large cup of green tea with cat pre-dinner to metabolize fat, to lose weight, through a clean liver
    non-alcoholic beer instead of wine

    gardening, exercise, music practice, cooking, recorded high quality TV or high quality You tube

  • #11825


    I have been planning in advance – keeping snacks and things on hand that I would ordinarily not let myself have often. I read most of my material in the morning (waking up earlier to do it). It’s been hot here, so when I get home from work, I will have a glass of crushed ice with water or lemonade and munch on some food while I make dinner. Cranberry juice with sparkling water also works well. I go for a walk, watch videos, or play games with my daughter after dinner as well, none of which I would do if I were drinking due to being afraid she’d watch me while I slugged wine or notice I was buzzed. After dinner, I settle in to finish up journaling for the day and look at this website.

    My goals are to remain sober for 30 days (this is day 8), complete the book and solutions in 30 days (again, day 8), and to spend more time one on one with my daughter (I made specific goals on all of these), so the above plans work well to hep me accomplish the goals.

    I also plan to treat myself to a professional massage this coming weekend as long as I stay sober. 🙂

  • #13163


    All great suggestions. I find after work to be my witching hour too. I’ve been drinking tonic with lime, club soda, and I found this bottle of elderflower and rose lemonade at an organic grocery. It has no alcohol in it but it is like a “treat” drink. So far so good, I’m on a family vacation and have been sober for 8 days. It feels so nice to wake up clear headed and I’ve really been enjoying conversations and activities with my teens.

  • #13164


    Also treated myself to a mani-pedi yesterday ☺️

  • #13440


    For now, I am doing the Solution exercises after work which is the time the habit of having a drink had kicked in. Going forward I would like to get back to doing some exercise after work to basically change my mindset. Just a walk, hike or some yoga would help move my head out of work. I also want to start cooking more. If it’s a weekend, or time when I might want to relax with a drink, I will substitute some sparkling water or kombucha or whatever bizarre drink I can come up with or I will make a green juice or smoothie.

  • #14876


    Thanks, everyone. I’m on Day 8 of the program (Day 4 sober) and I really appreciate all the suggestions. Today was a great day to learn about decision fatigue, because that’s what I got. But I envisioned everyone in the theater shouting “Don’t touch that drink!” and I got through it. Video games (mentioned above) help, and I have started a 1000-piece crossword puzzle.

    • #14877


      Welcome determined 62! I friended you on your profile which you access by tapping on the “Where to?” above….then tap on “Your Profile”, and poof, you are there! Check it out! Congrats on your continuing Sobriety! Sina

  • #15117


    Can definitely identify with ‘the witching hour’ – mine was as soon as I got the kids in bed – ‘willpower’ usually kept me from before that. Then it was like I gave myself permission to finally relax. Not good to stat on a bottle of wine at 10pm. Now, I am trying to add in healthy evening activities – a walk, some yoga, baking for the family, meditation. Then, I get into my pajamas at the same time as my eldest – after tucking her in, I have been mainly going downstairs for a snack and a glass of water, then starting my bedtime routine and getting into bed. By not ‘hanging out and relaxing,’ I am getting much more sleep, am much more relaxed, and have more energy the next day for meaningful hanging out with my kids.

  • #15280


    Its interesting I need my drink early in the day. If I can get though work I don’t need a drink at night. The problem is getting though work without drinking. I drink in the bathroom, in my co workers car, lunch, breaks. So if I can stop doing all of that I don’t need a drink when I get home.

  • #15331


    For me, I have always loved to read. Novels especially. It has always bothered me that when I drink alcohol I can’t concentrate enough to read. My mind just drifts.

    So, I’ve decided to always have at least two books ready to go on my Kindle. Every evening my decision is to 1) Do the work for the day from the 30 Day Solution and then, 2) Jump into a good book for an hour. So far it has been working great. My decision is ‘made’ before I get home in the evening as to what I’m going to do before bed, and so far on Day 8 it has been very helpful.

    I’m 8 days in and the program to be getting easier the last day or so … (and have lost over 5 lb as well!)

  • #15497


    I’m using the 30 cleanse for now. I have been very sluggish for a couple years and so it just came natural. I started on January 1st, and when Friday came along I knew someone would ask if I wanted a drink. I have been tired all week, so haven’t wanted to drink but the excuse just came out Friday night before I read about them. I will be adding so much back into my routine as my energy comes back to me and that for now is getting me through each night. I also have been reading a lot and playing video games. Lost 4lbs last week and I know this week will be so much easier, because I knew the first full weekend would be hard and it’s almost over!

  • #15960


    Having healthy dinners ready to go so I don’t fall back on a bottle of wine and bag of chips while I decide what to eat. Having an array of sparkling waters and teas on hand so I can quickly get something non-alcoholic to drink at the end of the day. Having a gym buddy who depends on me for transportation so I can’t talk myself out of going and ending up on the couch, watching TV and drinking to relax.

  • #16614


    I use my IPad as a tool to help me avoid decision fatigue. I either stream an entertainment based program or listen to music that I enjoy. The key for me is to listen to/watch something that isn’t too demanding and is somewhat interesting, upbeat or funny. Sometimes I team my Bluetooth headphones with the IPAD as well…tends to help control the cravings more.
    I do this while I am cooking and refreshing myself and organising myself after a day’s work. Then I feel more motivated to sit and do my action steps for the day:-)

  • #16725


    I got rid of all alcohol that I drink and I read my chapter first thing when I get up. I work overnight so my morning is usually between 11:30 AM to 1:00 PM. Then I go on with the rest of my day. I have successfully made it through my first Saturday in who knows how long without drinking alcohol and it feels good and weird. Good because I don’t have a headache and weird because I don’t have a headache. This is my momentum to keep going.

  • #16953


    I’ve been alcohol free for 21 days although I’m just on Chapter 17 of my audio book. I love this program. My mother is in the hospital and dealing with siblings is stressful they are drama ridden and upset me. I struggle because in my family I tend to be the one to “do everything for everyone” and then feel upset because they never reciprocate and in fact they put me down. Today I did what i needed at the hospital for my mother and left everyone to when i started to feel consumed by the stress. I believe I am starting to put myself first and be discriminating about where I put my energy I could never have made this progress without this program.

  • #16999


    Dave, My decision fatigue comes on the way home from work. I would like to download some of your guided meditation activities to listen to on the way home (while I’m eating my snacks to keep my sugar levels even), like the Time Travel Technique from Day 1, but they are all linked to YOU TUBE. Anyway, I can get an MP3 version I can download to a CD to listen in my car?

  • #17435


    I start each day with prayer, reading from my Bible, this book and doing the homework. Thankfully my husband works from home and rarely drinks, so this is quite helpful.

    As with most people, my times of temptation were around 5 pm; key word, being “were”. I have re-programmed my mind to write everything in past tense when it comes to when I used to drink – this has helped me tremendously.

    I have read probably 10-15 recovery books and if I were to be tempted again, I would yank them out and start reading. In addition to this book we’re all reading, I highly recommend “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace. As a retired editor turned author/blogger years ago, I appreciate and highly respect the amount of research Annie put into her book. I’m very literal and analytical by nature, so I love the amount of RECENT scientific studies from leading experts in their respective fields, worldwide, that were incorporated into her book. She has a free you can join. My second favorite book is “Quit the Drink: Easily!” by Jason Vale. I love Jason’s book primarily for his incredibly dry wit … which plays well with my dry wit. He – like Annie – makes similar but also different very valid points that I doubt anyone can argue with.

    Anyway, other strategies for involving decision fatigue include reviewing every day of my journal, whether advised to do so through this book or not. I’m a firm believer in cognitive dissonance (where you’ve made the conscious decision to stop drinking but your subconscious is screaming like a toddler to get over it and DRINK). So it makes sense to me the power of repetition the authors of this book recommend would bode well for me. They have, thus far.

    I’m a huge fan of HGTV but when it comes to House Hunters, House Hunters International or any of the other popular house-hunting shows, the minute I see a couple having a glass of wine as they make a decision, I will either forward through that part or turn the television off all together.

    I will call my former AA sponsor – now simply my good friend – or anyone else for that matter, if I am tempted. AA did not work for me but having my former sponsor now as a friend is a huge blessing. My husband does not have any idea how difficult this has been for me in the past (trying to quit drinking), so while I can talk to him about anything else, this is the one area he cannot help me in.

    Herbal tea with honey.

    Posting on this website and reading other’s posts.

    Reminding myself of how great I’ve been feeling for the last 15 days, and how wonderful it is to know that I will only continue to feel better as each day passes, AND remind myself that I HAVE HAD … my (freaking) LAST DAY ONE! WOOT!


    Going to bed early if all else fails.

    • #17442


      Fantastic!!!! I love TNM as well. Keep it up! Onward, Sina

      • #18027


        There are some good sobriety podcasts like recovery elevator and the Shair podcasts, there’s some other ones I listen to also

  • #18023


    For these 30 days at night when I’m sleeping I’m listening to this subliminal to help reprogram my mind

    Usually in the afternoon like 1 to 5 pm is when i suffer from decsion fatigue. I’m on day 9 now if it gets to the point I’m really considering going out to the bar I will put the subliminal on to help me. Just the other day i was suffering from little amount of decision fatigue so I kept saying like a mantra I’m 100 percent committed to being ALCHOL free for 30 straight days. It seemed to help

  • #18025


    I also forgot to add I’m 26 but look younger so I leave my debit card and Id at work. It’s makes it harder for me to go out to the bar knowing I’m likely going to get IDed because I don’t look my age

  • #119734


    I am going to avoid decision fatigue by keeping other “fun” beverages stocked in the house (e.g. sparkling water, club soda, fruit juice). I also find that performing the moola mantra calms me in a way that a simple breathing exercise or physical exercise does not. I also had to attend a social engagement that started in a bar (60 minutes) and then moved to a restaurant. The bar was the hardest, but I went to the bathroom a few times to look in the mirror to do affirmation, and was able to stick to drinking soda. I knew the bar would be challenging, so I made sure to arrive at the last possible moment so that I spent as little time as possible there.

    I realize that there is no one on the site who is reading this. The 30-Day SS was published in 2016, and the companion website launched at the same time, with the majority of participation in the forums occurring in that year. Feels as though I am in a giant ballroom, with busted balloons and streamers, perhaps a few cake crumbs and crushed party hats littering the floor. The party is over. Everyone’s gone home.

    So I will admit I feel a bit cheated, after buying the book, and reading about the online support. However, reading comments from posters who discuss feelings, problems, etc., that are similar to my own feelings, problems with carrying out some of the action steps is nonetheless comforting.

    Still….think that there should be someone monitoring the website.

  • #119735


    I just read your post. It was great. I admire your 60 minutes in the bar, and how you spent it. That’s the way! I’m still strengthening my resolve to be alc-free. Today is day 28, and it really hasn’t been that easy, but I’m doing it. I’m OK if I have no stress, especially psych stress. But, I seem to be getting a lot of it. I’m holding my own! I MUST be strengthening something! I admire you tackling this issue!

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