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June 17, 2018 at 7:34 am #119063
I’m sorry, but I just can’t get with this tapping thing. I’m frankly surprised by how much emphasis they put on it, mentioning it as some kind of savior all through the program.
I’m also struggling with this idea that there’s this certain something that if I can admit it or realize it or remember it, it’s going to suddenly open the door to why I drink and I’ll be able to get the hell over it with apparent ease. There’s no one thing that made me a heavy drinker. It’s a lot of things. My dad was a high functioning alcoholic. My husband and partner of the last 30 years drinks heavily. My grandfather was a big drinker. So, maybe my problem is men. But, whatever! I drink. I drink a lot. And knowing that a bunch of stuff contributed to why I do it doesn’t really open any huge doors for me. If feels like blaming. It’s my problem and I am dealing with it. I don’t believe any amount of tapping is going to make me suddenly forget everything that ever caused me pain or lead to me drinking.
I appreciate this program. I really do. It helps me focus and gives me things to consider. But, much like religion, I don’t have to believe every word of it for it to help me.
I appreciate this community. The only people I am friends with who have stopped drinking are nothing like me. One lost her husband to cancer when their daughter was three and her sanity, basically, until she stopped drinking She’s heavy into AA. The other is a chronic abuser. Brilliant, but has been homeless or in jail most of his life. Dying in hospice in a group-home of cancer that he won’t let them treat anymore. I suppose he’s abusing the morphine, now. I don’t ask. So, here is the only place that I can talk to normal people trying to do a normal thing… stop wasting their time with something that’s basically poisoning their bodies. Sure it’s a challenge. But, it’s got to be done.
And while I’m bitching so early on a Saturday morning… I wish there was a better word than sobriety or abstinence. They both sound so depressing. Isn’t there a happy word for not drinking? It’s like the word “foodie”. How dumb is that? Sure I’m obsessed with restaurants and food cultures all over the world. But, foodie? Really?
OK. Stepping down now. Venting complete. Carry on.
And happy Day 13! Not a sip in 13 days. Damn, I’m good!
June 17, 2018 at 8:01 am #119064
I seriously apologize if I’ve been a negative bummer for anyone. Please do what works for you! We are all different. But, the goal is the same! Be strong!
June 17, 2018 at 8:09 pm #119073Participant
Just let it all out! LOL! Expressing yourself is nothing to apologize for. It’s freedom, as long as you do no harm to others. And I don’t see that in your posts. You are struggling yourself, but you are also very impowering by just being human. I smile when I come across your posts.
It’s been a few days since I’ve written anything here. Work is all consuming this month. And, now that I think about it, it has given me lots of reasons to want to drink. And yet, drinking has not crossed my mind as a coping mechanism. Yay! Instead, I spend a lot more time with my horses, my joy! Today is day 8 for me. I’m happy to say that I feel great and last night was the first night in a while that I slept deeply. So much so that I didn’t want to wake up!
As far as techniques presented in this program, I’m with you on your opinion that there are some that might work for you and some that may not. And that’s okay. Find what works and run with it. Tapping is not for everyone. I felt foolish the first time I tried it, and so have not made it a part of my program. But some find it helpful. *shrug*. :-).
I hope you’re doing well.
June 18, 2018 at 4:40 pm #119081
Thanks, Elizabeth! Day 8, now 9 I guess, is great!!! It’s nice to have time to do other things and feel good doing it! I’ve been purposefully giving myself permission to sit and do nothing, though. Play solitaire. Read. Not staying busy every second just because I can. Horses! What fun! Have a great day!!!
June 24, 2018 at 12:30 pm #119211Participant
Day 13 is upon me! Yay! I’m still really jazzed that I’m not drinking.
I went through the 20 minute guided thing that Jack recorded and actually went back to an event from third grade (oh, let’s see…1974?) that triggered a feeling I’ve carried around since then. It’s silly and not something that affects me most of the time, but it was weird to have it pop up like that. The anxiety around that little particular thing really went away – that was cool.
I’ll try tapping this evening. Or the next time something really gnaws at me. I’m willing to give it a shot.
13 days, man. That is so cool! I’m really proud of myself!
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