September 9, 2019 at 8:07 pm #122539Participant
Yup. That was me at 21. I always liked to drink and never had any problem with drinking. Then I got married and we had a few good years, but then he was a man who, pretty much, ignored me. And if he was wasn’t ignoring me, he was belittling me. I was married, and lonely. That’s when I started to drink heavier…I was about 45 then.
You see, it was my home entertainment system. I used to say that and then laugh. He drank heavy too…the rest is history, divorce; an ugly divorce. That’s after I took all the bs for 15 years, too afraid to leave. Until my eye seemed to connect with his fist. Alcohol did play a part then. Then I left with one suitcase and my home entertainment system. I lost ALOT!
It has taken me all of these 9 years of being single to forgive him. And I only have a twinge now and again concerning my inheritance which he blew through which has left me financially strapped for all of these years. The rest I have forgiven. And I even have to say that I learned some very important lessons for all of this. And for all of this, I must forgive myself, because I did the best that I could and I know that it takes two to tango.
So, I have been living with my cat, my dog and my home entertainment system. I would have 3-4 drinks every night and occasionally more. It was more of a habit than anything…right?
One day about a month ago, I woke up with a black eye and had no idea how I got it. I must have fallen, but I have no memory of it. And that was my rock bottom. It seemed that my home entertainment system was no longer entertaining.
I am so happy that I have found this book. I’m on Day 5 of sobriety, the first day of the rest of my life. I am not struggling too very much, but I am committed and on my guard. I am very grateful and I have forgiven myself. Now I just need to love myself a bit more.
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