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May 8, 2019 at 1:38 am #122044
I had a real issue with one aspect of the time travel technique. Where it keeps pressing that the sober you will sparkle, be amazing etc etc. I know various sober people that either never drank or stopped on the most part and they all lead similar lives to me. None of them are extraordinary because they are sober, none of them sparkle or have some extra pizazz about them. The literal only difference is they don’t drink.
There are some basic things that should happen when sober ie you sleep better but even then these things don’t happen to everyone. I had to just switch off because the commentary was so aspirational rather than realistic.
Has anyone else had a similar reaction to this technique?
May 8, 2019 at 8:06 am #122045Participant
Welcome aboard the Sober Coaster jbob!
Is this your first foray into the Journey to Sobriety?
I think the “Time travel technique” and it’s tone is so very positive in order to inspire folks to begin examining the cost of overdrinking and to examine the possible benefits in store if they eliminate this deadly habit, the sooner the better.
To this end some folks who had a serious problem and subsequently beat it are often extremely enthusiastic and eager to share the largesse of their accomplishment. One can sense that in the very positive Energy of this program. Rather than dwell on the evils of drink, the authors emphasize the positive aspects of Thriving in Sobriety and Life.
I am guessing by your comments that you are needing more convincing that quitting drinking will enhance your life. It seems that looking at some unremarkable people of your acquaintance who don’t drink may be giving you pause to question the value of Sobriety.
I hope as you get further into the program the materials will convince you that Alcohol does not serve you. I hope you will continue to post here!
Often we don’t realize that the Addictive nature of a substance or behavior colors our perceptions and keeps us stuck in it. I hope you are able to approach the materials and do the Action Steps with an open mind. Change can be challenging as our belief systems are often deeply entrenched.
I hope this helps.
And I firmly believe that a Sober lifestyle is infinitely more joyous than one steeped in Alcohol Use Disorder, as unhealthy overdrinking is now dubbed in professional circles.
May 8, 2019 at 2:43 pm #122047
Thank you for responding. Unsurprisingly this is not my first attempt at sobering up. So I am familiar with what lays ahead.
I don’t consider anyone particularly remarkable. My point there is that sober doesn’t automatically mean life will be anything other than bog standard.
I get tired of messages that my life will somehow magically become a wonderland of unicorns farting glitter if I sober up when in reality it will be exactly the same as it has been for years. Doing the same mundane tasks we all do to “live”.
Positivity without a pinch of reality is jarring. I guess that helps some people even if it makes me switch off.
May 9, 2019 at 8:19 am #122049Participant
Good morning (California time) jbob! Thanks for your funny, cynical and all too real commentary, it brought me a smile and chuckle ! I even thought of the late George Carlin for a second (complement!🙂). And so true that merely quitting a destructive habit/ addiction doesn’t magically populate the world with those happily farting unicorns!
I’m looking forward to hearing more from you Friend!
May 9, 2019 at 9:50 am #122050
jbob – I second Sina’s comments. I like your sense of humor. I can certainly relate to what you are saying. I have been AF for the 12 days I have been doing the 30DSS. Aside from the occasional reflex to grab my wife’s glass of chardonnay I have not been stressed thinking about or craving alcohol. BUT…I do wonder what day 31 will bring. As you say ” in reality it will be exactly the same as it has been for years. Doing the same mundane tasks we all do to “live”.” In general I am somewhat of a pessimist but this program does give me a ray of hope of living a sober life. The “solutions” and my work completing the action steps are gently leading me towards the possibility that I too can ‘thrive in sobriety.’ I typically listen to the guided audio exercises one time. Mainly just to get ideas for my own self-led exercise. The Time Travel Technique did not offer any eye-opening revelations but it served a purpose. I am determined that I will NOT be the person I see while contemplating what my life will be like 5 years from now if I continue to drink what I do today. On the flip side, what my life looks like in five years living in sobriety, I don’t see a “unicorn farting glitter’ version of my life. But I do see a healthier and happier me if only for the reason that I don’t consume 750 ml of ethanol daily/frequently.
Best of luck and I hope you continue to be active here. It seems there are so few of us left. Reading the forums it appears the hey-day was back in 2016 when it was a thriving society. I’d love to jump into some of the conversations but, alas, they are no more.
May 9, 2019 at 2:53 pm #122053
I made it to day 5 previously, really struggled with that exercise. Good job on 12 days!
I decided to try completing this over 90 days this time so I think I will listen to the start of the meditation again. The picture if I keep drinking is bleak so it will probably pay off to burn it into my brain.
I’m planning to do a cbt technique alongside this one to help pinpoint aspects of my life I enjoy to try to do them more often. Being sober I should have more time to fill after all.
I hope it will make the mundane tasks irritate me less when the unicorn stampede fails to show up.
I see what you mean about the boards here, this one seems to be filled with spam about a game. Not exactly relevant. But with yourself and Sina about hopefully there is support to go around.
May 13, 2019 at 8:31 am #122063Participant
I started this program 17 months ago. I went 90 days without any alcohol. In the last 14 months I have occasionally drank moderately (no more than 3 in a day and an average of about 12 a month). This program has made a very positive impact, but I have not encountered any farting unicorns. I generally feel better and am enjoying my life more than I did when I drank. I am sure that you can gain control over your drinking. I encourage you to at least go 90 days without any alcohol. Ues the techniques from the book and take it day by day. 30 days is not enough to change your mindset. Most can not go back at all.
May 14, 2019 at 3:26 pm #122066
So you drink about 4 times a month and do not have any more than 3 drinks? That sounds like a pretty good job at moderating. I’m on day 17 and so far still sober. I find myself wavering a bit. For one, I have been struggling to keep up with the daily reading and actions steps. I have been getting them done but I haven’t put the time in to go as deep as I might otherwise want to. Today’s reading was over 15 pages on the Kindle! The good news is that I am out living an active life. And I have been sober where I can do the work in the evening. I’ll keep pressing forward.
May 14, 2019 at 7:17 pm #122067Participant
Well ,read all your blogs .Starting tomorrow after a good 20 yrs of drinking every day .I see looks like a real challenge ahead.Dont know whats in store just know I want to be around for a future granddaughter for as long as I can and be as healthy as I can .Drinking is not the way ! I need to kick this habit 🙂
May 15, 2019 at 6:12 am #122068Participant
The time travel chapter is one I keep going back to because it truly did impact me. I was sober for eight years and during that time achieved a level of physical fitness that I never dreamed possible and became a competitive athlete. Unfortunately my emotional fitness was not being addressed and after one major setback I fell right down into daily excessive drinking. In three years I have completely erased any of the positive physical and health aspects of my life; I am now overweight with chronic pain, deep sadness and depression. If I do this for 5 more years I will be dead, or pray that I was. I visualize a sober future filled with healthy choices both for my body and especially my mind so I can be a blessing to my family and others. Not expecting to stand on a mountain with a halo of light, but being able to function again and appreciate life daily is going to be amazing. Good luck everyone!
May 15, 2019 at 10:57 am #122069Participant
Hello. Thank you for your post. It was insightful- that going back to drinking after a good 8 years was depressing. It re-enforces the truth: drinking = pain, and being sober is the best way to go. Today is day 1. (*Again!) Yesterday was supposed to be day 2. However, a very stressful day, and a then a lovely steak and potato dinner— and well… I didn’t make day 2. I have decided to start over. I have tried to complete 30 days many times in the last 7 months. However, 13 days was my record (prior to the end of year holidays). Then, I made 8 days about a month ago. Now, I am trying again. I just don’t know why it seems so hard. I read the book (and listened to audio version) up to half of the book. I find it extremely hard to carve out the time to do the “writing” portion/ action steps. I am now convinced that it may be my only hope in ever completing this. I did listen to the time travel technique- but I really already knew that image. It is depressing- and cause for me to delay and drown out the thought for “just one more day”. Ugh!! Like others, this current version of me… just doesn’t fit the Real me- my best self.
May 15, 2019 at 12:59 pm #122070
Winner – Glad to hear you are going to give it another try. Just by trying you are doing a positive thing for yourself. For myself, doing the readings and the action steps has made all the difference in the world compared to my previous attempts at quitting. And, you’re right, it does take time to put some reflected thought to the exercises and then journal the steps. On the days that I rushed through it I try to revisit the material on another day. The end of week days are free days so that’s a good time to catch up. And I don’t see the harm in spending two days to complete one of the days action steps. The on-line material isn’t going away. Go in 100% and keep sharing.
May 16, 2019 at 7:39 am #122071Participant
Hang in there Winner97 and I will too! This program is working for me but there are a lot of resources out there if you need to try something that resonates with you. I think Eljaydee is right about taking your time, and revisiting steps as needed. That’s really good advice.
Wishing you the best and freedom. PS, it’s not wine, but cranberry, lime and club soda tastes pretty good with that steak, looks cool in those wine glasses you won’t really need anymore. Plus you don’t feel guilty the next day or wake up at 3am with anxiety. 🙂
May 20, 2019 at 11:29 am #122090Participant
Well, I started this 30 days today and just cried my way through most of that Time Travel exercise!
Did anybody else cry or am I completely unhinged!?!
I think the hardest thing was thinking “gosh, I don’t even know my kids (now 8 & 9) … 5 years down the line I’ll have two teenagers who will probably hate me for being a mother who was not present.” A tough realisation pill to swallow…Change my behaviour now or never – guess that’s what the time travel technique brought up for me.
TIA for the support here.
Looking forward to loosing that 3am anxiety and guilt the next day that you mention @ajlamay17!
May 20, 2019 at 5:59 pm #122093
Welcome ANT. You’re not unhinged. A forward-looking version of our drinking selves should lead us to tears. Fortunately the rest of the program is all about getting to know ourselves and living our today and our tomorrow’s as our “new me” (tomorrow’s exercise.)
Please keep sharing.
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