The TRUE reason why I drink

This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by

 
Participant
3 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #14055

    Participant

    It was such a stunning and amazing revelation I had during the “Movie Moment”

    I realized that the TRUE reason I drink was that I was afraid of my own greatness and was afraid to compete at the highest level with the very best and smartest and richest people.

    I am so scared of failure and of being scorned and humiliated that I continue to sabotage myself with my drinking problem and all the great opportunities are sept away and go to other people.

    And I have lived a life of mediocrity and surrounded myself with under-achievers and pretended I was just like them. And so the years have passed and I have been “living small” and “playing it safe”. Never making over $60,000 per year. Living in a blue collar neighborhood.

    THis is a great program 30DSS to help me to see the true situation. Only now will I have a chance to break thru these chains and to free myself from the alcoholic prison once and for all. And to follow my dreams and to become a GREAT man.

  • #14124

    Participant

    I am a blue collar worker, who lives in a blue collar neighborhood. Thanks for giving the opportunity to work on my tendency to judge others. Right now in this moment, I’m not doing well with that.

  • #14125

    Participant

    Actually I dont live in a blue collar neighborhood, I like in a low income, welfare neighborhood.

    I blue collar neighborhood would be a step up. I bought a 3 bedroom house for $60,000. Maybe that will give you a better idea.

    Thank you for not “taking offense”. As I obviously dont know you , never knew you would stumble upon my post.

    My point is I could be doing alot better than I am now if it wasnt for the alcohol cutting me down at the knees. And im sure I could say the same for everybody else on this forum that we would all be doing alot better in life if we had never picked up the bottle.

    I wish you the very best in your victory over alcohol and I pray that you never pick up ever again so that you can live a happy life

  • #16629

    Participant

    I’ve been drinking for over 35 years and, like most alcoholics, I’ve tried many times to cut-back, switch to wine or beer only, drink only on weekends or special occasions, etc, etc, etc. I even quit for 30 days 5 years ago. This is different! I’m on day 8 now without a drop and I feel amazing. I can finally see a bright future without alcohol. Nine days ago I had a bit of a breakdown and cried for the first time in many, many years. I cried because I hated my life with alcohol and what is was doing to me and the impact it was having. I am an atheist but I prayed for help from some higher power. Later that day I decided to visit the local book store not looking for any subject in particular, just wandering the store. Something led me to the 30 day solution. It took just 4 days into the book to realize I needed to find the reason I drank, and I did. I was sexually abused when I was young but I never wanted to use that as an excuse for my failings or self abuse. The truth is it wasn’t the incident itself – it was how it left me feeling afterwards; I felt I wasn’t normal. I have spent my life thinking that I am different and not deserving of anything I have or have wanted. This past week I have really started to examine my past and focus on what I really want in life; sobriety, good health, friendship and the continuing love of my family. Thanks to this program and other contributions in the forums, I know I am normal and as deserving as much as anyone.

    • #16631

      Participant

      Welcome @dah99 !
      This 30DSS book and Companion Website comprise a wonderful program. Childhood sexual abuse can very often be one of the many triggers for dealing with life by overusing alcohol. Many other completely “normal” folks have had similar experiences. And tons of folks develop addictions because they don’t feel “worthy” for many reasons, as varied as people are!
      The 30 Day Sobriety Solution authors don’t believe it’s beneficial to label yourself as you’ll discover in future chapters.
      Also this program doesn’t require you to surrender to a higher power. If the AA model serves you, by all means incorporate whatever parts work for you!
      Please continue to post here as this journey is so much better traveled in friendly company and support! Onward Fellow Sobriety Seeker!
      I’m so glad you found this book!
      Sina

  • #16636

    Participant

    Thank you for the feedback, Sina. No labels…except maybe one, “Alcohol Free”

    • #16649

      Participant

      dah99,
      I am on day 8 also, I’m glad that you are finding your way. If I could shed any light, my case is nowhere close to yours , I was an only child , who pretty much had everything I wanted growing up , barley got through school had and still do have two loving parents . Started drinking when I was fifteen smoking dope , and was heavy into cocaine by 20 spent my entire twenties partying , living at home rent free. So I would spend my pay check on booze and drugs. Finally met a woman who turned me around because death or jail was knocking on my back door. Had many ups and downs since then now in my mid forties I have two kids pre teen and I have the feeling that this is it for my life, drinking every night and all day on the weekends, passing out , taking naps all day on the weekend not going to work. Health is getting bad with blood pressure and pre diabetes, decided that I better get my stuff together. started to see a nutritionist found out about this book. Every chapter so far has opened up to what I never knew existed. Their is more to life. Their is a future.I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s a battle and you have to fight for your life . I’m letting go of the past and missed opportunities and wasted time. You can do it and so will
      I.
      Good luck
      Peace

      • #16653

        Participant

        Hi @sj5515. If you tap on dah99 screen name you can connect as you will be on the profile page of this person. I also can help you navigate this site if you have any questions. Thanks! Sina

  • #16863

    Participant

    I see this young girl in the movie, she’s lonely. Her parents are more concerned with her siblings who have issues. The girl is very intelligent, but has low self esteem and becomes a “follower”. Not popular, getting teased and bullied…she wants to be “cool”. By the time she’s a teenager, she’s made so many bad decisions and is hanging out with the wrong crowd. Off to college, and she still gravitates to those type of “friends”. That’s my movie moment, I wish I felt more loved and confident back then, I wasn’t true to myself. The drinking is a false sense of belonging. It doesn’t work anymore!

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