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February 4, 2018 at 8:25 am #20187
In day 14.
Often in the book it refers to identifying the underlying causes that push one to drink. I’m not sure if I’m following if they address that specific issue.
I do see multiple references and help with why I don’t STAY sober – self doubt and such that I won’t be able to, that I need to set goals and envision my better life sober, etc.
But I’m looking for the underlying causes that compel me. Some things they mention such as worry there isn’t fun in sobriety skim the surface for me (that’s not what compels me to consume). But maybe I’m not far along enough or am missing that they do address this?
February 4, 2018 at 9:51 pm #20195Participant
Hi there @bowencm !
I’m glad you asked about the Whys involved in the reasons you (or any of us) drink/overdrink.
As you’ve probably noticed by now, the 30DSS leads you on a Journey of self discovery and reflection, if somewhat obliquely, as you have experienced in the Forgiveness Solution, the Core Value Solution, the Subconscious Mind Solution…
Only you can identify Why YOU drink! One tool I have found extremely helpful is the Handbook for SMART Recovery. It is available from the Website and on Amazon. It’s also a free download if you happen to have Kindle Unlimited. It isn’t 12 Step, it is based on Rational Cognitive model like the 30DSS and it is a perfect companion to this program in my opinion! It’s full of Worksheets to help you in their 4-Point Program: Build and maintain motivation, cope with urges, manage thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and live a balanced life.
The Tool/Worksheet I think you would get some clarity from is the “Cost-Benefit Analysis”. In one column (Benefits=rewards and advantages) you list the benefits of drinking. people have pretty similar reasons, examples are: Relieve negativity, stress, feel normal, reach oblivion, socialize, have fun, relieve pain, etc. Then, you rate each Benefit as Long Term or Short term. in the other column, you list the Costs (Risks and disadvantages), and rate them Short or Long term. So you might list “relieve stress” as a benefit, and rate it short term, and in the next column you might list “damages health” as a Cost (risk, disadvantage) and Rate it Long term.
The late Marshall Rosenberg, Father of Non Violent Communication (NVC) believes that all human beings have the Same Basic Needs, and that everything we do is to fulfill those needs. He believes that we serve life by finding ways to satisfy needs that are more effective and less costly, in other words, in ways which serve what is alive in us…
Day 16 , The Quality Question, also attempts to help you shed more light on ways you can better serve your self by asking life affirming questions, rather than dwelling on the Why of life, which might always remain a quandary retaining some degree of uncertainty and doubt….let me know if any of my ramblings have been helpful! : )
February 6, 2018 at 4:24 pm #20218
Yes, thank you. I know I’m the one who can identify why, but was looking as mentioned in the book as some help to uncover it.
Thank you so much!
February 6, 2018 at 7:58 pm #20222Participant
Thanks for your response @bowencm !
One thing I wanted to mention, and isn’t really addressed in the 30DSS, except in passing on pages 79-80, is that the main reason, the Why, of Overdrinking, may have less to do with our particular personalities and upbringing, and more to do with the very addictive nature of alcohol itself!
Annie Grace has written a very fine book which delves into this topic. She credits Allen Carr for much of the material. I think her book, This Naked Mind, subtitle Control Alcohol, is a great companion to the 30DSS, as it also sheds light on How we become dependent.
February 6, 2018 at 8:16 pm #20223
Cool sinaqueena, thanks so much! I’ll check it out.
It certainly is addictive, eh? I remember once I started, I just didn’t want to stop. I don’t remember off the top of my head what exactly the book called it, something like a zone you get into. Yeah.
Anyway, doing well, thank you for your support!
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